[X-post] "I had voiced lots of concern due to the fact that I'm having to buy her groceries and support her since she can't even afford to live in the new city, that's how expensive it is."

Link to op: https://archive.is/HVQ5C

Summary: Girlfriend moves to big expensive city for a new job. Boyfriend proposes to keep LDR alive and starts paying her groceries and bills. Girlfriend expresses doubts about marriage but keeps him around (he says he stopped paying her bills until marriage is on the table again).

Body:

Her old roommate was trying to convince her to move out to the city for a job, my fiancé was SUPER hesitant but I supported the decision, after all what was I going to say? "You can't go?" So she moved. It was rough, long distance was really hard, but then I flew out and proposed. Our relationship got really good really fast, things were on the up and up.

He shouldn't have said "You cant go !" he should have asked her "Do you want to go?" and if the answer is yes he should have let her go. Instead he roped himself into a beta-position by proposing.

So now I'll mention that her living in the new city wasn't supposed to be permanent, just a stepping stone until she could transfer to a better job here in our home city. She had been really struggling with wanting to come home, I had voiced lots of concern due to the fact that I'm having to buy her groceries and support her since she can't even afford to live in the new city, that's how expensive it is.

So he is actually paying for her to live life in "the big city" while patiently waiting for her to come back home to him.

Literally making up stories and questioning my trust for her. I didn't receive it, and gave my rebuttal, that's when she broke down. She felt guilty because she felt very attracted to one of her old roommates friends who was visiting. I told her attraction happens, you just have to make the choice to either stay committed to cheat. That's why affairs happen. I told her I'm happy she told me, she reassured me nothing happened with the dude.

Classic hamster-projection after tasting some alpha (dick?). Im not going to say she already DID cheat, but from the sounds of his girlfriend, if she didnt, she sure is planning on doing it.

At least he is happy he knows she wants to fuck that other guy in the big city in the apartment he is paying for her to live in.

When I ask if she wants me to just back out and move on she gets upset and says no, just says she needs time but pretty much puts me on the back burner in life.

She still isnt sure she can lock down that alpha (cock?) so she needs her backup-plan to stick around for a bit more just to be safe. But as stated in the summary, he mentions in a comment that as for now at least he stopped paying her bills.

I'm confused as fuck Reddit. I feel like she flip flops from day to day on what she wants. Sometimes she gives me little bits of "I can't wait to go couch shopping for our apartment when we get married." And other days it's "I just don't know if I want to be married." Is she just so unsure of what she wants that I'll have to force a breakup for her to decide?

She gotta throw the doggy a bone every once in a while to keep it around.

Lessons learnt:

• LDR are a bad idea, especially if she moves from a small place to a big (the carousel gets bigger)
• Proposing to save a relationship is almost as a bad idea as proposing because she is pregnant.
• If you take on the role of BetaBux, it's very hard to come back to be Alpha-Fux (if you ever were).