Hello all. It's been about two years since I've posted much on TRP.

I've actually deleted a lot of my posts due to some personal information being leaked around the time TRP'ers were being targeted but one of my popular post is still up: Compilation of Red Pill Books.

This post will serve as a poignant reboot for myself and a shared learning experience with the rest of us. I look back on my old posts and I look at myself today and see a shell of the former man that I was.

I started my TRP journey by digesting as much of the material in these boards and putting myself to work. I was lifting, reading, consuming material, and approaching on a consistent basis for my first year.

The success was life changing. I enjoyed the fruits of my labor during year two. Plate spinning, new PR's, business and personal goals were achieved. Life was great. I felt that I was at a point that most guys wanted to be in. I was in control of my life and I was in the fast lane due to the knowledge and skills I collected.

I rode this success straight into an LTR towards the end of year two. I was living high and I had felt like I attracted a worthy mate. She passed the green and red flags and my personal flags tests for an LTR.

I was still a realist however because AWALT is always in effect, BUT, I still dove head first because I was confident with my skill set, that I can completely make this LTR redpill.

The first six months were fantastic. Of course it is, it is still the honeymoon phase. My frame was solid, shit tests were handled, Captain and first mate dynamic in full effect.

Six months to a year. I'm getting more comfortable. I'm keeping my frame up but man is it so easy around to her to let my guard down. The relationship isn't as fun as it used to be. Shit tests are becoming more serious, but I am still passing them (sometimes) (A&A). I'm successful in my job, making money, and we're consistently traveling.

Mentally, I'm not as strong as I was. I'm not reading all the time. I'm not "sharpening the saw blade" as Dale Carnegie puts it. I'm invested in this woman, invested with her family, sunk cost fallacy. Like I said, I'm letting my guard down. I'm not revealing my emotions to her but I'm letting her in on the daily rigors of my life. Physically, I'm not hitting the gym as regularly as I used to.

Year one to year two. The shit tests are regular. The nagging is real. We've moved in together. Terrible idea. She can see all the effort I put into myself that, the final product she was so attracted to but she isn't attracted to the process. Frame is weak. I don't see the point in escalating discussions and arguments anymore. I just stay stoic and let her do her thing. Saw is not sharp at all.

I was focusing on my business and going back to school to further my education. She's just finished her schooling and starting a big girl job. I felt that was a big change in the dynamic of our relationship.

End of year two. "She isn't yours, she's just yours for now." This chick has the qualities I want in a woman for an LTR. I've learned some from her, and she's learned a lot from me. We're both moving into separate directions in our lives. One of the biggest is a career change for myself. Throughout the course of two years, she has shown me that even a woman you perceive to be a good fit for what you want, will still chip away at your mental state and fortitude. There are no unicorns in this world.

I decided to end it, for her sake and most importantly mine. I am not the man I was when she met me. I'm always the prize but I'm tired of giving it to her and my prize ain't as good as it once was.

I always thought AWALT was extreme, that all women were sluts and cheated, or some other extreme form. I've learned now that there are varying forms of AWALT. Every woman has a different range of AWALT, but it's there.

My perception of AWALT now is an ever present emotional state in a woman that will subconsciously (or consciously) chip away at your frame, mental state, and status as a man. They can do this in many different forms.

Some of you read this and must think "Of course! If you let yourself regress like that, you will definitely be a beta." You are completely correct. I applaud the guys that can keep up their red pill relationships and have them be fruitful year after year. Let me tell you, it is hard. It's hard for me anyways. This is just my experience that I wanted to share. I know a lot share success in this subreddit nowadays, I want to share my failure.

I'll be back in shape and back to creating some more useful content soon. Time for the gym, the reboot is in full effect.