It's ok to lose sometimes

[deleted] · 2016-11-19T21:49:54+00:00

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NeoreactionSafe · 2016-11-19T15:50:42+00:00

Approaching is never a 100% certainty of a win.

Always have the Abundance Mentality that even though you can't win them all if you continue Approaching you will always have some options.

One should never try for perfection... that will make you freeze up.

MattyAnon · 2016-11-19T16:17:18+00:00

Agree with OP, and I'd take it further.

If you're not "losing" most of your approaches you are not pushing hard enough, being too nice, and ultimately wasting your time.

Most people are so completely risk averse that they'll only gamble on complete certainties, even when the odds are in their favour.

Now in social situations this makes complete sense - a loss can make you look weak or unattractive. But when your social group isn't there, most people are even more risk averse. This is a fundamental human failing and causes most people to achieve vastly less than they could in life.

How many better jobs have you applied for, interviewed for in the last year? One? None? Why not twenty? Seriously, why not twenty?

Same with women... how many have you approached and escalated hard on* in the last month? None? Five? Why not a hundred?

*yeah, this does read "hard on".

TRP_Lee_zard · 2016-11-19T19:07:37+00:00

Hence the praised here outcome independance, you will actually lose 90% of time, but you lose every try that you dont take. With 5% win ratio, you have to try only 20 times to get firat result.

What more, every failure teaches you more than 5 successes.

Timeleap · 2016-11-19T20:36:45+00:00

Wow, this post came just at the right time. Just had a date with an 18 yo virgin that never had a boyfriend before...

We went to the cinema (rather bad choice, I know, but whatevs...), we were cuddling (she was initiating), but when I tried to go for the kiss, she simply turned her head away; tried to kiss her again, when we bid our farewell, but she refused again.

Obviously nexted, but it still feels kinda weird, for that hasn't happened in quite a while...

pappositivamente · 2016-11-19T22:19:04+00:00

Don't lose, learn. Simple as that. A man should always be evolving, learning new things and do as best as he can to use those things he learned in the upcomming challenges.

Losing is never ok because losing is giving up. And giving up its not what a Man do.

xenongamer4351 · 2016-11-19T19:11:23+00:00

This is something I needed to read man. Thanks.

antihostile · 2016-11-20T00:42:38+00:00

“A lion doesn't concern itself with the opinion of sheep.”

BigG123 · 2016-11-19T19:20:18+00:00

I always say you gotta take a few Ls to catch that W. But that W will always feel better than all those L's.

Art0fLife · 2016-11-19T23:12:16+00:00

It's all in how you look at it. There's much more to learn from a loss or being wrong than there ever is from a win or being right. It's some ignorant shit to expect or even wish to be right or win all the time. The only way one doesn't learn a lot from a loss or being wrong in fact is if they expect or believe they are right or should win all the time. Beta shit right there.

Pitmpm · 2016-11-19T21:12:38+00:00

There's no perfection in this world and a life without up and down isn't worth. And alpha are alpha because they failed haaaard than any beta but they get up and fight that's what make you alpha fighting while your body tell you to surrender .

cnzs · 2016-11-19T21:33:55+00:00

It's not that it's ok to lose, it's normal to lose. This seems to be only semantics but by saying it's ok it seems you're implying that you're content or satisfied with it. You'll lose no doubt but it's not ok, you want to feel like you're not satisfied with the result and are looking forward to change and improve.

TheLaughingRhino · 2016-11-19T23:28:42+00:00

This, and I think it's important for some people to realize that sometimes, it's okay to give up on something.

I see a lot of people go into STEM school/careers, pulling their hair out with frustration. They don't like their jobs, they don't like their classes. They're constantly stressed and most importantly, they're unhappy.

While STEM fields are definitely a great career to be in, it's not for everyone. If you find yourself constantly frustrated, stressed, and living in anxiety with your studies, you're probably not that passionate about the subject.. Or maybe just don't have the talent for it.

As Einstein once said "Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid." You might suck at mechanical engineering, but you might be a brilliant writer. You might suck at being a writer, but you might be a brilliant painter or mathematician. You might suck at playing drums, give the guitar a shot. You might hate biology but love building shit, so maybe you're a carpenter.

Even if you're a really smart person, you're not going to be good at everything. It's important to simply know your strengths and weaknesses to figure out your purpose.

ihaphleas · 2016-11-20T01:06:21+00:00

Fail early and often, one learns through failure (or should) and it's better to make several smaller "failures" early than to have a catastrophic failure later. Learn how to fail gracefully, learn the failure modes of the things you do (learn how to properly "fail"/end a relationship, learn how to fail a lift, etc.), understand that often you don't get a choice about whether something will fail, but you often can plan to have it fail in a way that isn't catastrophic. Take up chess or go/weiqi/baduk so that you can practice failing --- if you don't lose half your games, you're not correctly ranked. The point isn't even to get really good at the game (though one should aim to improve), the point is to toughen yourself against loss.

OneRedYear · 2016-11-19T16:20:34+00:00

TLDR : You win some, you lose some. You keep playing.

GlennBeckAmerica · 2016-11-19T18:31:05+00:00

My head spun 12 times. Arrival was great.

NakedAndBehindYou · 2016-11-19T22:57:07+00:00

We already teach this. Outcome independence means you will remain self-confident whether you win or lose. This is necessary because every success is built on the foundation of many failures.

Dustin_Bromain · 2016-11-19T23:19:20+00:00

Simple, yet quality post. Yesterday, I was macking on a cute foreign bitch at work and she was receptive, laughing, and dropping a lot of IOI's. Today, I went back to her and got absolutely blown out of the water. Ice-cold reactions, IODs were abound, she simply shut me down. Yep, I lost that one. I'm never going to fuck that woman; despite how much I wanted her. I failed. But guess what, I'm hanging out with a girl Tuesday night. Plans just randomly came through over text as I was pondering why I got rejected by the first chick. So there you go. Fucking get out there and make some moves.

SpinalArt · 2016-11-19T23:27:16+00:00

"Success is never final and failure never fatal. It's courage that counts."

LucyOnTheTree · 2016-11-20T04:20:43+00:00

I've learned that it's ok to lose, but something that really make me anger is hesitating, being paralyzed by fears.

It's so weird, im doing well at everything, job, university, picking up strangers girls on parties, on my campus, everything just fine. Then i go to some usual party, hesitate a lot, get introspective, and suddenly my mind is infected and i'm in a battle with my beta thoughs once again.

Hard not getting anger with this version of myself.

Atuli · 2016-11-20T07:48:54+00:00

Also sometimes you meet people who are just better than you.

These are the ones who have somthing to teach you.

randomperson123321 · 2016-11-20T13:25:48+00:00

Losing affects you negatively physically and mentally.

Losing every once in a while is beneficial in the long run, making you stronger, in order to avoid additional defeats.

Losing subsequently is disastrous. It will eventually lead to health issues. The outcome can vary (from social anxiety, to physical pain, depression, suicidal thoughts, et cetera). If you want to live a good life, avoid it at all costs.

Do not misinterpret rejection for loss and vice versa. For your own good.

Imagine the following two scenarios:

You like a woman and you start flirting with her, escalating, etc. and she seems receptive and all without giving clear indications of interest or disinterest. You have a pleasant conversation with her and everything seems to flow smoothly but for some reason the outcome is not ideal. In the end she rejects you. You do not score.
You like a woman and you start flirting with her, escalating etc. and she seems receptive and all without giving clear indications of interest or disinterest. At some point a "friend" of yours comes and puts his hand around your shoulder while you stay still. In the end he grabs the attention of the woman you were talking to and he ends up scoring.

In one of the above scenarios, you lost. In the other you just got rejected for one reason or another. Learn to identify the difference.

Gawernator · 2016-11-20T18:32:37+00:00

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. " Michael Jordan

aanarchist · 2016-11-19T23:08:55+00:00

"do everything right" is some beta shit to me imo.

Duppyconq47 · 2016-11-20T01:18:04+00:00

Thinking of getting with women as a "win" or "loss" can distract you from the larger personal growth taking place. Picking up women is a process that is equal parts environment (setting, how you carry yourself, the woman) and process (game). You wouldn't get upset with yourself if you couldn't turn on a TV by playing with the stove, would you? Right, because you employed the wrong process to achieve the desired end. Trust yourself, trust the process, and consider these encounters learning experiences. You grow with each one if you listen, and take the good with the bad. Don't forget to have some fun with it!

Thomaskingo · 2016-11-20T12:16:23+00:00

IDGAF = It's principrally always okay to lose

Stoicisme is not about overcoming adversity but instead embracing it, and thereby being set free from BS outside of your control.

Salted_Pretzel · 2016-11-20T14:51:15+00:00

This is something that I'm slowly learning. Losing is never fun. It sucks. Everyone wants to win. What I learned recently that in order to win you have to lose, a lot.

H4RV3YSP3CT3R · 2016-11-19T16:09:29+00:00

''I know, nobody knows, where it comes and where it goes, I know every bodies sin, you got to lose to know how to win''.

[deleted] · 2016-11-19T18:21:59+00:00

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bboiabb · 2016-11-20T03:00:25+00:00

tell this to hillary supporters

Title	It's ok to lose sometimes
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	292
Comments	50
Date	November 19, 2016 3:32 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5dsxb1/its_ok_to_lose_sometimes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/its-ok-to-lose-sometimes.64628 https://theredarchive.com/post/64628

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