Anyone know why this active, open-minded, smart, genuine, happy, introspective, 32F passionate volunteer firefighter keeps getting ghosted? This isn't the way it was back before the 2008 recession.

divorcedbp · 2020-06-12T04:23:41+00:00

Somebody, ideally her mother or grandmother, needs to grab her by the shoulders and yell in her face “ABSOLUTELY NO MAN ALIVE CARES AVOUT YOUR JOB OR YOUR INCOME WHEN EVALUATING YOU AS A ROMANTIC PARTNER. Just because you might find that important, doesn’t mean they do. In fact, wonder of wonders, men and women want different things, and that’s okay! Figure out what men want, and then if you’re interested in attracting and keeping one, change yourself to become that, and stay that way! Of course, you don’t have to do that, but then you’re not allowed to complain about why men apparently don’t want.”

the40yearoldincel · 2020-06-12T05:58:48+00:00

A string of rejections, LOL, don't make me laugh lady.

Women have absolutely no idea how many rejections the average men has to go through in life, let alone below-average looking men. If women could experience the amount a guy like myself has been through, I think most of them would commit suicide.

Why doesn't she just suck it up and take it, like they tell us guys?

Overkillengine · 2020-06-12T06:34:12+00:00

32: Her negotiating power is on the decline by default, regardless of how well she takes care of herself. Can she out-compete a woman of the same age or slightly younger? Possibly. But she's going to have a hard time out-competing a woman 5-10 years younger than herself unless they grossly neglect their upkeep. And since female fertility declines at a far more rapid rate than male fertility does, female youth is far more valuable to men than women care to realize.
Getting ghosted after one or no dates: Her dates are either finding better options (see prior bullet point), or how she portrays herself online does not match up to the in person impression and they are rightfully bailing in reaction. Given that women can be relied upon to be unreliable narrators, it would not be shocking to find out she looks a lot more "weathered" in person than on her pictures. Out of date pics or deceptive filters are a frequent vehicle for this dynamic.
"I have high standards": 99% of the time this means she set her price point higher than what her market value will support. 30-40 year old Chads can pull college aged girls who do not have the plethora of demands that a 30 year old woman will stupidly assert are her due.
"I didn't get to the point of sleeping with them": Modern hookup culture has resulted in men that are not willing to wait for a woman to make up her mind. She can thank her sisters for this one. Either she puts out or her replacement will. And 32 year old women that are desperate for a ~~relationship~~ pay-pig are not in short supply.

civcinco · 2020-06-12T04:33:20+00:00

They were interested based off of her highly doctored profile pics. Then they got a spontaneous pic or video chat and noped the F out.

OR they heard a couple of unmentioned rug rats in the background of one of their calls.

2020-06-12T05:21:05+00:00

The 2008 recession facepalm

They just cannot make the link to online dating can they?

tosernameschescksout · 2020-06-12T07:35:47+00:00

Oh, that poor sweetheart got ghosted three whole times!
She should see what it's like being a man.

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2020-06-12T09:08:18+00:00

3 rejections is a "string of rejections"?! LOLOLOLOLOLOL 🤣

I didn't get the amount of rejections a lot of guys complain about, especially once I stopped bothering unless I had received some decent IOIs, but occasional rejections were always inevitable. Learning to deal with them is just part of life, if you're a man. Women, though, just can't handle it, and that's amusing as hell to me.

The ghosting occurred "after at least one date" and she "didn't get to the point of sleeping with any of them so it's not like they used [her] for sex". Without additional info such as she surprised them with dealbreakers such as already having kids, smoking cigarettes, etc. my guesses are either 1) it turns out she's annoying as hell, or 2) without sex, she's not showing enough interest to keep them hooked. At 32, there's no way in hell they're going to believe that she's a virgin saving herself for marriage, so why would they wait for her if they have other options?

Plus, news flash, the guy who said he's not over his ex might have been telling the truth. It happens.

2020-06-12T12:21:41+00:00

"Chad keeps ghosting me. How can I lock him down?"

I just summed up that word sandwich into two sentences.

toolate4redpill · 2020-06-12T09:50:40+00:00

She has "High Standards"

Well the guys she thinks she deserves have high standards too.

How's that going?

Cristoff13 · 2020-06-12T09:52:09+00:00

The phrase "used for sex" is foolish. What, do women only have sex after one or three dates because they are expecting a marriage proposal immediately after? Should we go back to 100+ years ago where a lady could sue a gentlemen for "seduction" I think it was called - i.e. where he had sex with her but didn't marry her.

Aldabruzzo · 2020-06-12T13:41:22+00:00

"So, I (32F) think I'm a catch. I think I'm fairly good looking (not model, I'm only 5'2") but definitely attractive. Many guys have told me so, though maybe they're just saying that? I'm fit, I'm financially stable with a great job, I'm...."

Then....

"I feel like I can't even get to the point of actually getting to know anyone to even get a chance to see if it would work out."

...I guess just not interested in me. But why? Shouldn't attractive women who have their head on straight have it easy? I can't figure out what's going on here...."

I'm gonna do you a solid, 32F. Read this, especially paragraph 11.. Here, I'll copy it for you. (Written by some disappeared asshole who called himself DonLandsman. Who knows what happened to that guy.)

11) If you are not attracting any interest from men at all, then one of the following is going on:

--You don't look your best. You're overweight. Your hairdo sucks. You don't dress well. You have poor makeup.

--You are actively showing disinterest through your demeanor, personality, or activity. You're offputting, you're bitchy, you're unfriendly, you're unavailable.

-- You live in an area with high ratio of women to men. There aren't enough men for the women.

If you can get things going with men but cannot keep them going, one or more of the following is going on with you:

--you're a bitch. you're unkind, unfriendly, pessimistic, caustic, or sarcastic.

--you're not available enough.

--you're not pulling your weight and you're expecting him to do all the relationship/dating "heavy lifting".

--you're picking unattractive men.

--you're picking simp chumps who don't know how to relate one on one and run a relationship with a woman.

--you're picking players and cads and men who aren't interested in anything but short term casual sexual relationships.

32F, I'm taking a shot in the dark here, but... maybe you're just not as attractive as you think you are. Maybe guys are just being nice to you (like you women demand - if any man were brutally honest with you, you'd rip him a new asshole, MeToo him, report him to his employers, and file criminal complaints against him). Maybe you're a Karen. Maybe you don't have your head on as straight as you think.

because my experience with women who talk about yourselves like this is:

"I think I'm a catch" (you're not a catch - you've got serious physical, mental, emotional or other flaws because of YOU that have torpedoed your relationships with men up to this point. And you've got a real blind spot here about yourself.)

"I'm fit" (you're not fit. Or you have a chronic STD. Or that tat sleeve and the tittoos you think are so cool make you look like you have a petri dish hoo ha.)

"I'm financially stable with a great job"( I have a makework paperpusher "job" that barely pays the bills and I'm not getting ahead. I supplement that income with money from my parents, dates, boyfriends, exes, friends, and sugar daddies.)

"I have high standards and I'm not desperately going out with anyone." (Developed after having really low standards and/or getting pumped and dumped one too many times.)

Maybe you're just not all that. Maybe you're one of the rare women who overestimates her attractiveness. Maybe you're not as attractive as you think you are. Maybe you're coming off as a stuck up bitch.

If you've made it to age 30 and you want a serious relationship or husband but don't have one yet, something went very, very wrong somewhere. Either you're a bitch, you don't look your best, or you just didn't prioritize relationships.

I'm just spitballing here. Just something you might think about.

Old_snowboarder · 2020-06-12T09:03:28+00:00

'I have high standards' - and there is her problem but the moron doesn't realise it. If she's going for top tier men and she's pretty average then she doesn't have the intellect to realise that top tier men have choices. She either needs to improve herself (I know, that's a crazy idea right) or be more realistic in her dating. And we all know that just won't happen.

2020-06-12T11:29:03+00:00

She's too much work to fuck.

Why do I wanna know you for months before I get laid? I'll go fuck the single mom working at McDonalds on the first date.

ogrilla99 · 2020-06-13T01:34:41+00:00

You know what? I'll even give her everything she says about herself. Maybe she is fit, attractive, with a great personality. But even if that's all true, she's 32, and the tables turn brutally around 30. She's looking for high value guys in their mid to late 30s. The kind that used to hit on her when she was in her 20s. Guess what? Those guys are still hitting on 25 year olds. Even if they entertain a 32 year old who's somehow able to compete with those younger girls in attractiveness, she's still not on the top of their list. Which means she's the first to be ghosted when a) there's no connection after a first date, b) a better option comes along, or c) she refuses to have sex after a few dates.

At 32, she's finding out what it's like to be the one competing for attention, rather than the one that others compete for. Welcome to a guy's world. Now dance monkey, dance!

Ishabaka · 2020-06-12T10:17:53+00:00

Just another "I'm fabulous so why aren't I getting the attention I DESERVE?" post.

JimBagleaducia · 2020-06-12T11:07:14+00:00

Last time a woman told me she was a catch, I rolled my eyes so hard I got a fucking concussion

Global_MGTOW · 2020-06-12T16:29:08+00:00

>Attractive woman

32

>Volunteer firefighter

BIG OFF, I've seen the local FF guys when we had to make an emergency call. All the guys were at least 6'2 tall, White with colored eyes and absolutely ripped. There's a good chance that she's taken it from every guy that would give her the time of day.

Patrice O'Neal said it best when it came to dealing with older women.

BluepillProfessor · 2020-06-12T08:26:14+00:00

at least she has people to get rejected by...

The_Mole_Dizzle · 2020-06-12T10:08:20+00:00

she has high standards as well, I guess guys just have high standards as well at this point, if it's too much work then it isn't such a prize after all

NetherIndy · 2020-06-12T18:40:18+00:00

"I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong"

Well, assuming you aren't overstating your qualities or omitting something (the kids?, the BPD meds?), you should be able to do better than this.

The problem is, you're only skimming 5% of your OLD matches. The other 95% just don't even cross your mind. And I get that. If I were inundated with 100+ potential matches a day, I'd have to find a way to cut that down, too.

But, your cream-of-the-crop is also Nancy, Karen, and Susan's cream-of-the-crop. Just because he matched-and-smashed you doesn't mean you have the relationship value to get commitment out of him. If you have friends setting you up with "he's a good match for you" guys, and you're categorically repulsed by them compared to your Bumble queue, your sense of 'league' is busted.

flagsblack · 2020-06-12T10:54:57+00:00

Wish you showed a picture, I guarantee this woman is fuckin busted. That's her only problem.

2020-06-12T12:14:30+00:00

"Financially stable with a great job?"

What job? If you want us guys to date you over your career then you should be listing it. Funny how 99% of women on online dating apps don't list their job and if you ask them what their job is they become hostile or aloof about the topic. Lol

TheApricotCavalier · 2020-06-12T13:43:41+00:00

Wow, only 5'2? NEXT!

doom2345 · 2020-06-13T04:03:05+00:00

They didn't ghost you. They told you they didn't want to continue. Probably because a midget volunteer firefighter sounds hella annoying.

ipromiseimnotaNazi · 2020-06-13T12:48:44+00:00

She’s 32. Something younger came along. Any questions??

MGTOW_BEASTMODE · 2020-06-12T14:47:59+00:00

I got tired just reading about her life.

Exhausting.

brcn3 · 2020-06-12T21:16:31+00:00

I find it odd that she thinks of herself as being too short. Since girls like men who are taller than them, her being short only opens up the dating market more for her. Men find women who are shorter than themselves attractive.

If a guy is short, THAT will limit his options severely.

GoMake_me_a_sandwich · 2020-06-12T21:24:48+00:00

She is old and short

ChestBras · 2020-06-13T04:58:31+00:00

I hope the first reply was "post a picture".

tux_pirata · 2020-06-13T18:15:26+00:00

You have to be a really insufferable bitch if guys ghost you even before banging you

isthisthelasttime34 · 2020-06-15T01:00:03+00:00

She probably comes off as really clingy. Just the way she describes herself down to a T. Her whole perspective on how to go about dating. This is literally how a guy thinks, and low and behold, most guys come off as very clingy. I feel bad for her, because she sounds like a nice girl. But she's not only clingy, she's reaching that desperation age.

fuetdevic · 2020-06-15T07:53:34+00:00

32F. Here's the deal.

2020-06-23T16:40:27+00:00

32 year old woman with high standards? Good luck.

ElectricalCost0 · 2020-06-15T05:25:56+00:00

“Gal”? “Gal”? “Gal”? Only boomers use that term. She isn’t 32 YO.

RatingsOutOfTen · 2020-06-25T11:40:42+00:00

If she had a master's degree, I might be interested...

BluepillProfessor · 2020-06-12T13:10:16+00:00

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