Chapter 2: The Ideal Woman From A Man’s Perspective

I tried to post this earlier. Not sure why it got removed.

Welcome RPW. My name is JanuaryArya and I’ve made a resolution to lead a book club of Fascinating Womanhood. We will review one chapter a week. I find that I digest “self help books” easier if I really try to take my time, read the content, and often reread it. I will be making weekly posts, and I encourage you to join the discussion, especially if we have assignments that we care share.

If you missed last week’s post you can find it here

The Angelic and The Human

Lets start by previewing an image/a table that was at the end of the Chapter. This will be relevant to our first assignment. The Ideal Woman; The Angelic and the Human Keep an open mind and remember that:

”His ideas of feminine perception are different from your own. The things we women admire in each other are rarely attractive to men”

So this chapter is about the male perspective. Let’s push forward.

”Men admire girlishness, tenderness, sweetness of character, vivacity, and the ability to understand men. A marked difference is in regard to appearance. Women are inclined to admire artistic beauty such as the shape of the face, the nose, and artistic clothes. Men however have a different interpretation of what makes a woman beautiful. They place more stress on the sparkle in her eyes, smiles, freshness, radiance, and her feminine manner.”

The Angelic Side has to do with her spiritual qualities. This includes her good character, understanding of men, domestic skills, and a quality of inner happiness. The Human side refers to her appearance, manner, and feminine nature, and includes the charms of femininity, radiance, good health, and childlikeness (sometimes referred to as girlishness).

Analyzing Agnes and Dora From David Copperfield

Agnes Wickfield is a character from the Charles Dicken’s novel David Copperfield. She is described at length as being the embodiment of the Angelic characteristics that men find attractive. Many quotes and examples were included in FW, and you may find further analysis here It is noted that David Copperfield chose Agnes to be his second wife, after he was widowed by his first wife Dora, the embodiment of the Human Characteristics who is discussed afterwards.

FW Analyzed Agnes What she had:

1. She had a pure and lovely character
2. She understood men
3. She had inner happiness
4. She was a capable housekeeper

What She Lacked:

1. She was too independent
2. She lacked girlish, childlike, trusting qualities
3. She lacked the gentle, tender, fascinating little ways that stir a man’s heart

Dora Spenlow Is the embodiment of the Human Characteristics. David was both enchanted by her mannerisms and frustrated by her lack of character and domestic skills. I guess this is a good example that you first need to be attractive. I haven’t read David Copperfield but the descriptions seem to imply that David knew Agnes much before Dora, and even though he was fond of Agnes, he fell for the enchanting ways of Dora. I found an interesting Defense of Dora if you’d like to read more about her character.

FW Analyzes Dora

What she had:

1. She had an enchanting manner
2. She was childlike and girlish
3. She had tender little ways
4. She was radiantly happy
5. She was bright eyed
6. She was dependent

What Dora lacked

1. She was a poor homemaker
2. She lacked character
3. She did not understand men

Analyzing Mumtaz Mahal

We again are given the example of Mumtaz, wife of Shah Jahan, for whom the beautiful Taj Majal was built. Mumtaz is widely considered to have been the “Perfect Wife” I’ll be trying to find more sources about Mumtaz if she continues to be used as a frequent example. I’ve found other descriptions of the happy marriage, that include Incredible Pictures of the Taj Mahal

The Angelic Qualities:

1. Character
2. Domestic Qualities

Her Human Qualities

1. She was Feminine
2. Radiance
3. Fascinating

Introduction to Understanding Men

Men are different from women. This could be explained at length but hopefully those of us here have a basic understanding of that.

Love is more important to a woman and admiration is more important to a man. This was explained so well by u/girlwithabike If you would be interested in further reading

It will also be explored in depth in the next few chapters.

Relationship Rules with Men

1. Accept him at face value
2. Appreciate his better side.
3. Admire his manliness
4. Make him number 1
5. Let him be the guide, protector, and provider.
6. Let him manage the money.
7. Don’t wound his sensitive masculine pride.
8. Be sympathetic, understanding

Assignments

A quick note before we get started. I’ve found this advice in every RPW book that I’ve read. It’s not necessary to tell your Captain that you are reading a book to make improvements, let the improvements speak for themselves. It will be easier to see his authentic reaction to the positive changes you are making.

1. In Becoming the Ideal Woman, you are not starting from zero. Take a good look at yourself and you’ll find things to appreciate. Write down 25 things you like about yourself.
2. Make an Angelic Human Chart Make a list of the qualities you have, and the qualities you lack. Take one quality that you lack and work on it this week. Notice your Captain’s Favorable reaction.
3. Please feel free to share all or part of your assignment below.
4. Read Chapter 3: Accept Him at Face Value.