I would die before I text first

spreadmywings89 · 2020-06-03T18:40:22+00:00

Same here. I’m done. If that means I “lose out” on someone who felt I should initiate texts, so be it. Not really a loss.

2020-06-03T21:06:21+00:00

yes!!! way to go. i've adopted this too. New guy asked me out and waited a week to text me, expecting me to text him first. when he did text to confirm our date, i asked "why am i just now hearing from you?"

him: "you make me nervous, i didn't want to seem thirsty. and you had my number too lol"

me: "You asked me out AND expected me to initiate conversation?".

him: "damn. thats so honest. thats why you make me nervous".

NO RESPONSE.

GraveyardH2020 · 2020-06-03T19:30:58+00:00

I wish I stuck to this principle sooner. After finding FDS, at the end of a super bad relationship where I used to be the first to say good morning every single day and was the initiator from the start, I did a little test to see what would happen. After ending the convo and going to bed one night, I simply didn’t text the guy first the next day. I wanted to see if he’d reach out. I’d have answered all calls texts etc, he wasn’t blocked or anything. I didn’t hear from this guy for a WEEK and we even had plans that upcoming weekend. He finally texted me the following Monday to say he was so hurt that I would ghost him like that. I didn’t ghost him - he just never bothered to text me. I realized he’d never make the effort and I was the only one keeping the relationship afloat. How ridiculous.

__kamikaze__ · 2020-06-03T20:00:22+00:00

Same. It’s hard but you’ll get through it.

My suggestion is to text your girl friends when you have the urge to text a man. 9 times out of 10 the convos are more fulfilling with your friends anyway

em0873 · 2020-06-04T00:55:34+00:00

I only date men who are interested in me now, and actively show it. Are there fewer options? Yes. Many men like to have the woman take initiative, because they’re lazy and they’re used to Pickmeishas doing that and taking the lead. But it’s reassuring now that whoever I’m dating is actively pursuing me, it’s freeing and takes off a lot of the pressure I held on myself for no reason.

Sreshme · 2020-06-04T01:48:21+00:00

Yasss!! I did this with a guy I am interested in. He is a friend. We are not “talking” or “dating” . I wanted to see if he is interested in me. I stopped texting.

I used to text first because I was bored of Quarantine and almost no social life. We had little discussion/ argument that day about some feminism topics. And He was on the sorry side since he hurt me out of topic.

Usually I am the one to text when I have fights with any of my friends. That is just me keeping my ego aside. I decided not to text this time to see if he will do the same.

crickets

After a week he called me asking why did I ghost him after a fight.

Dude what?? Are you even listening to yourself ? 🙄

On a side-note that helped me to know he isn’t interested in me in any way.

Thanks to FDS, I stopped catching feelings first.

thedevinefemme · 2020-06-03T23:03:51+00:00

I’ve started doing this with my own boyfriend of not texting first (without a super good reason at least!)

thedevinefemme · 2020-06-03T23:01:06+00:00

This reminds me of my initial posting here to FDS. Even in a long term relationship I am working on not being as emotionally available. I want to always be chased. We can’t allow them to relax bc they could get lazy and set a bad precedent. Gotta keep them in check!

thedragonwithinxo · 2020-06-04T00:02:49+00:00

THAT PART👏🏻 PERIOD

Mean-Head · 2020-06-06T03:20:12+00:00

This is a great mindset. You can’t get ghosted if you never initiate a conversation.

Title	I would die before I text first
Author	myaccountiscool
Upvotes	213
Comments	35
Date	June 3, 2020 5:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gvyon9/i_would_die_before_i_text_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-would-die-before-i-text-first.691984 https://theredarchive.com/post/691984

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