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[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple152 points153 points154 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
This is true.
But I suspect it’s even worse and most N/LVM target women for their ‘hand’ to begin with.
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Apprentice38 points39 points40 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep! That’s what I was thinking.
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I saw the post and was like "that's deep". I saw your comment and was like "shiiiiiiit that's real talk" 🤔
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why, thank you! :)
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No thank YOU sis for keeping us on game. ❤
[–]veebubbles0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What does N/ LVN mean?
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No/Low Value Men
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist196 points197 points198 points 3 years ago* (16 children) | Copy Link
If the person never had the intention of respecting you, sure.
Doesn't matter if you give someone too much or too little. We cannot train people to respect us if they don't want to. It makes women think that in order for a man to respect you, you must not be giving.
From day one, a man decides whether he will respect you. DAY 1.That has nothing to do with how you behave, what you give. Respecting you is HIS decision. If he feels entitled to your "generosity", he was always going to feel that way. If he falls in love with your "hand", he was eventually going to do that🙄
[–]YarikEnterpriseFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't disagree, but the meaning I took away from this is that the ones looking for a servant won't stick around long enough to fall in love with you as a person if they aren't being catered to.
[–]PinkElephant20FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I like this explanation way better!
[–]PollyAnnaSunshineFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too!
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I completely agree with what you are saying. But there are just legit scammers and hobosexuals out here who will leech and take right out the gate. They have the hardest time maintaining the veneer of a HVM so it's best to avoid giving ANYTHING for enough time that you can weed these dudes out. I think 3-4 months is enough time for them to show their true colors. Really it's enough time for most LVM to show enough LV traits. At least that's my opinion 🤷🏿♀️
[–]murdertoothbrushFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Hobosexual" just made my entire day 🤣🤣🤣
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know right!?!?!?!? These scrotes have zero shame. 😂😂
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Perhaps evaluate your standard for "good" men.
Would you consider yourself otherwise good and geared towards respect, but become complacent when someone gives you too much? Hence making you respect the person less? I hope not, but if so, I implore you to evaluate yourself.
Men's complacency is not a woman's problem. It not our responsibility to control whether a man becomes complacent or not. That's on him. Shift the responsibility from women to men.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I do think your book example applies to what /u/2340000 is saying. The methods in the book sort out the men trying to use us quicker. You can use all the FDS tactics on a LVM, ZVM, or NVM and they can still be abusive and crappy.
A woman refusing to show her Achilles Heel right away, having her own life, and knowing She has options is compatible with seeking a true reciprocal relationship and expecting men to be decent from day one. Maybe Pickme behaviors put off HVM, but IMO a true HVM leaves when he is unhappy instead of sticking around to give breadcrumbs and disrespect you.
[+][deleted] 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Why would you want the onus to be on you? Hasn't patriarchy made everything your responsibility already?🤦
There will always be conflicting advice. At a certain point you need to decide what is best for you. I have made it known on this sub that I do not support that book. Mystery, withholding, etc. is a performance and not sustainable. You need to invest in YOURSELF for the benefit of YOURSELF. Not to make sure a man doesn't become complacent. Men's behavior is not your responsibility. Men who grow complacent do so because they want to. Simple as that.
I encourage women to raise the bar. If we assume men's behavior is innate and not a choice, we fool ourselves. Yes, be wise with your energy, time, and love. Yes, vet him. But how can you dictate what a person takes for granted? You cannot. If a man thinks waiting in line instead of skipping the line is weakness, what can you do? Nothing. That is my point. It will always be their decision. You decide if you're okay with that characterization or not. The only person you need respect from is yourself.
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes!! I misread Why Men Love Bitches as a "how to perform" piece the first time and I still can see how it would come off that way. I support your points and the principles in the book that weed out the time-wasters and low character without showing my vulnerability.
[–]BlasianBabie0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THISSSS!!! Absolutely!!
[–]Concept_BeginningFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oof hits hard. Wish we were taught this from the beginning.
[–]LylaethFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for your wisdom, Grandma
[+][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sanfranciscofrancoFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed! The implication is that obviously kindness and generosity are going to be taken advantage of if we put it out there and we’re naive if we show someone that side of us too soon. We shouldn’t be discouraged from being loving, open people. The men who mistreat and take advantage of women like this should instead be shamed for being scum bags.
Always be your beautiful selves, ladies! Just learn to recognize the signs of a man who only wants to use you.
[–]sevenmilesandsFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Now I really miss my grandma. She was one hell of a lady.
[–]Careful-EconomyFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thisssss, I need this on a sticky note taped to my forehead lmao
[–]PunnyPrinterPickmeisha™️4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup, I’ve been there.
[–]PicklesNBaconPickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s deep
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[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple152 points153 points154 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Apprentice38 points39 points40 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]veebubbles0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist196 points197 points198 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]YarikEnterpriseFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinkElephant20FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PollyAnnaSunshineFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]murdertoothbrushFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HowslapFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FluffandRaincloudsRuthless Strategist0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlasianBabie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Concept_BeginningFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LylaethFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]sanfranciscofrancoFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sevenmilesandsFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Careful-EconomyFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PunnyPrinterPickmeisha™️4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PicklesNBaconPickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link