Q4men. What are your thoughts on men who cheat on their pregnant partners?

2018-05-18T14:05:00+00:00

[deleted]

2018-05-18T13:49:51+00:00

Men who cheat on their pregnant partners are scumbag douches.

a)Do you believe in a situation that would justify such behavior?

Well, most of the women who get impregnated by scumbag douches KNEW those men were scumbag douches, but let those scumbag douches impregnate them anyway or decided to bareback it with said scumbag douches. Because most of those women are stupid, or have low self esteem, or whatever else. And they aren't good relationship material themselves. And a lot of those women kick those scumbag douches out, mistreat them, etc.

b)Have you ever seen it play out irl?

u/whereareallthegoodmen (online, anyway)

c)If you ever found yourself in such a situation that you felt temted and able to step out on your partner while pregnant, what would you do?

I don't know. Wouldn't have known unless I was in it, and I never was...

2018-05-18T14:02:39+00:00

I guess my thought is that "cheating" is really not universal, but very specific to any specific relationship.

First you've got the people who are non-jealous, open, poly, though I understand that's not really what you're asking about.

But then there's the situation where a marriage or relationship is over in all but name. And where people get lonely, and they seek comfort elsewhere.

If a man is not in love with his partner and meets someone and falls in love with her, well, about the worst that can be said for him, morally speaking, is he flubbed the paperwork. He failed to say "I want a divorce" and file some papers before falling in love.

There are of course situations where a man wants it all. Where he wants a wife and a baby and a mistress, but the wife doesn't want there to be a mistress and the mistress doesn't want there to be a wife, so he lies to both of them.

That behavior is evil and borders on rape by fraud.

But to fall out of love and to fall in love with someone else is something people honestly can't help, and in the long run it's probably better that people be honest, with themselves and each other, than live in slavish obedience to a contract.

Tedesche · 2018-05-18T14:15:22+00:00

Same as women who cheat on men--they deserve to fall in love and be cheated on.

paccount112 · 2018-05-18T14:25:24+00:00

I've never met one, so I only hear about it 3rd hand or more.

I like how Gavin Macinnes put it when he sees divorced people with a <1 year old. How the fuck were you not able to hold it together for a year?

I don't think it's a benefit to anyone to have families break up before they even start. Having said that, there's two sides to every story. A chick who pulled the goalie without telling her man is playing with fire. A girl who only fucks her guy when she wants to get pregnant is playing with fire. A guy who can't keep it in his pants is playing with fire. A guy who is such a needy bastard that he takes whatever whiff a girl throws at him is playing with fire.

So many people playing with fire. I'll save it for the man upstairs to judge, I'll just avoid it all together

DaphneDK42 · 2018-05-18T15:20:09+00:00

Read this thread I'm currently pregnant and I think I would punch my husband in the face if he whined about "his needs" while I'm growing his child in my belly, and see how men can be justified in cheating on a pregnant partner.

FairlyNaive · 2018-05-18T13:58:50+00:00

I think those men should not have married.

EDIT: Freudian slip

2018-05-18T15:11:06+00:00

Shitty human beings cheat, regardless.

I don't ever plan on getting married or having children, but luckily for me I have a preg fetish, so stepping out wouldn't even cross my mind.

SlimLovin · 2018-05-18T15:17:07+00:00

I mean, the President did it...

wekacuck · 2018-05-18T16:04:40+00:00

I think it's wrong and sad.

Additionally, somehow the group of women who become supersexual cockcraving preggos (if they actually exist) need to just shut the fuck up on all the pregnancy forums particularly in threads where guys are asking questions about struggling with loss of intimacy during pregnancy.

washington_breadstix · 2018-05-18T17:03:13+00:00

They're assholes. What else is there to discuss?

mistercheeez-o____O- · 2018-05-18T22:14:19+00:00

It's deplorable.

a)Do you believe in a situation that would justify such behavior?

Hard to think about one where it could be justified. I suppose that in cases of abuse you could understand the reasons behind this behaviour a bit more.

b)Have you ever seen it play out irl?

Haven't had the displeasure of witnessing that before. I've heard stories. I witnessed a man who was cheating on his girl, I used to serve them both and we had drinks together several times (acquaintances if you will), and it was pretty bothersome. It's awkward as I could tell in our interactions that we all knew what was going, though we didn't dare speak what was on our minds. She wasn't pregnant, but I could imagine how uncomfortable that could be.

c)If you ever found yourself in such a situation that you felt temted and able to step out on your partner while pregnant, what would you do?

There are a plethora of temptations in life that I can resist already. The only one that gets to me is cigarettes.

2018-05-18T14:07:31+00:00

"What's the big deal?"

Just make sure the baby comes out healthy.

says_harsh_things · 2018-05-18T14:54:53+00:00

I don't think there is as much evo-psych to it as it appears on the surface.

Pregnancy in general is like throwing a hand grenade into a barrel of womens hormones. Some women get super horny when they are pregnant, some women don't change much, and some women lose all interest in sex. Same thing after the baby is born - many women have a huge libido drop while they are breastfeeding.

I suspect this is a truth often obfuscated for fear that if it were talked about openly, men would be less likely than they already are to agree to having children. Also, I think its a somewhat uncomfortable truth that human beings are less autonomous than we think, and that a change in the chemicals in our brain can so vastly change who we are as a person causes a great deal of anxiety.

Anyway, onto the topic, anytime a womans libido drops is a danger zone for cheating. This doesn't excuse the behavior, simply offers some context. Its not a noble act to cheat on your pregnant spouse, but I can't say its unexpected.

Now, if she's one of the ones thats turns up the horny knob to 11 and he still cheats, I've got nothing for that situation.

AutoModerator · 2018-05-18T13:32:36+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2018-05-18T14:00:58+00:00

For me, I can't really justify cheating in general, much less when you know you've got a kid on the way. It's just a shitty thing to do.

I've never seen this play out IRL

That situation would never happen to me because I wouldn't get a girl pregnant who I wasn't serious about. It's not that hard. But hypothetically I would first not cheat (obviously). Then I'd do some soul searching to figure out why I'm dissatisfied with my relationship so much that I want to cheat. If I think it's fixable, I'll try talking to my partner and fixing it (which would not go over well during pregnancy so maybe I'd wait). If it's not fixable I'd probably just deal with it, own my mistake and force myself to stay with her. People have lived through worse things then an unsatisfying relationship, my kid deserves the best shot they can get at life.

SendThotsAndPrayers · 2018-05-18T14:21:04+00:00

From a sociological point of view? Horrible.

Biological on the other hand? We kinda did that per-civilization, or in times where values were less....compassionate. So it's not like it's unheard of - plus plenty individuals (Both male and female) are more biologically inclined to follow their instincts ("I still love him/her, but I cheated during the heat of the moment").

What's the middle ground on this issue - and are both sociological and biological views flawed?

PieceBringer · 2018-05-18T15:52:27+00:00

I'm completely desensitized to it, I've seen it happened at least 3 times and made no difference to me.

2018-05-19T08:02:52+00:00

Khloe starting dating Tristian when his then girlfriend was heavily pregnant. And Khloe was flauting their relationship when his ex gf was about to give birth. Then Khloe got pregnant when she wasnt married.

There were a million red flags that he will cheat on her. No surprise there. You can tell when a man is a scumbag, if you choose to ignore the signs then you choose your faith.

whitetrashcarl · 2018-05-18T14:54:18+00:00

i'm of the opinion that women are happier when they're with men who can and do cheat. i recommend cheating to men looking to have happier marriages. pregnancy affects nothing

xtsv · 2018-05-18T14:43:12+00:00

It is the woman's responsibility to find a decent partner. If they find one that cheats on them it is their fault for being unable to judge a person's character.

whitetrashcarl · 2018-05-18T16:49:27+00:00

I don’t care

I guess I do think this: it takes two to tango, I really doubt that it was 100% on him. She probably did something to push him away.

gasparddelanuit · 2018-05-19T08:00:54+00:00

Q4men. What are your thoughts on men who cheat on their pregnant partners?

Obviously, it’s not a nice thing for the pregnant woman and I would not advocate that men do this, but I understand why they do it. It is a case of nature winning over promises. Men naturally have an inclination and capacity to impregnate many women, as per their optimal mating strategy. Our societies, however, discourage this behaviour and are setup in a way that tries to get men to commit to one partner. Subsequently, men often find themselves in marriages and monogamous relationships which are not in tune with their natural desire for many women. Of course, most men are not sufficiently self-aware to know what is causing their cognitive dissonance, so end up either struggling within the relationship or guiltily capitulating to temptation.

I suspect that sex ceases to some degree when a woman is pregnant. The woman may not be in the mood as much, the man may not want to disrupt the pregnancy by having sex with his partner and/or he may not be that attracted to her in her pregnant state. This may all be part of nature’s grand plan, which likely makes some men more susceptible to temptation from women who have not yet been impregnated.

One cannot say that it's justified for a man to do this, just that it’s understandable given nature, the constrained circumstance within which men must live and the fact that everyone is fallible. I’ve never seen it play out in real life nor would I want to be in that situation personally.

Title	Q4men. What are your thoughts on men who cheat on their pregnant partners?
Author	dankytank
Upvotes	4
Comments	64
Date	May 18, 2018 1:32 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8kd6tn/q4men_what_are_your_thoughts_on_men_who_cheat_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-what-are-your-thoughts-on-men-who-cheat-on.725019 https://theredarchive.com/post/725019

Comments