Anyone else struggles with not being selfless?

ReignOnYou95 · 2021-02-12T01:21:12+00:00

Yeah men dont like it because it obviously gets in the way of them getting whatever they want but no I dont care anyway. Its okay to be selfish, almost every single man is and no one gives a fck.

LevelTurbulent · 2021-02-12T01:21:01+00:00

I’m one of those people who struggles not to do things for other people. I had crappy parents and raised my sister from a young age and I just naturally do things for people. I guess I’m a mom type. But because I’m like that I have to be choosy about who I do things for or I’ll get used.

So I think there’s nothing wrong with how you’ve said you are. You shouldn’t do things for people if they wouldn’t reciprocate, or at the absolute least, appreciate it. I cut people off if they’re takers and not givers. I want supportive people like me in my life. Everybody else can kick rocks, I’m not doing shit for them.

uptownxthot · 2021-02-12T01:51:35+00:00

i don’t believe anyone is actually really selfless. it’s human nature to enjoy doing things for people when the energy is reciprocated.

Rebirthed_Queen · 2021-02-12T01:39:42+00:00

Of course the media, which is owned by and directed by a majority of men, encourages selflessness and free emotional labor from women: they already feel entitled to your time and energy and write female characters with that image in mind.

Your mindset is completely healthy. Giving without receiving appreciation or friendship will eventually exhaust you. Society doesn't expect the same overflowing generosity of time and resources from men, and thus men don't expect it from other men. You keep going strong, queen. Protect your time and energy to spend on those you love and appreciate.

K0rla · 2021-02-12T08:49:03+00:00

Women are taught to give, give, give and then keep giving. It’s perfectly fine not to make efforts for people who don’t appreciate you and wouldn’t lift a finger for you.

PinkBlair99 · 2021-02-12T04:28:33+00:00

Not at all. I don't do martyrdom, and I find it hard to respect people who do. It's often a screen for passive-aggressive attention seeking.

Vmwvi · 2021-02-12T05:58:53+00:00

Your mindset is perfectly healthy. "Selfish" is honestly better than selfless. Completely "selfless" people often are that way because they have no self esteem and chase validation from those who don't deserve them. Don't give up anything for a man that you wouldn't give up on your own (particularly hobbies, a good job, friends etc.) because you need those things in your life. Don't ever overinvest in a man and don't do things for people who won't return the favour. You aren't a side character in their lives your the main character in yours. Not to mention most women tend to think they're more selfish than they really are, which might be what's happening in your case. There's noting wrong with what you're doing right now.

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-02-12T01:21:53+00:00

I do not 😌

Fun_Sherbet · 2021-02-12T03:58:21+00:00

I just can't do things for someone when I know 1) they wouldn't appreciate it, 2) they wouldn't do the same for me.

QUEEN SHIT, TRYING TO CULTIVATE THIS ENERGY

For real, my "selfless" identity has brought nothing but misery into my life

questcequunefemme · 2021-02-12T12:22:22+00:00

The only people i'm selfless with are my parents, my sister and my best friend, that is because they have always been selfless with me and i trust them with my life. Not being selfless with a man who will use and abuse you is not selfish, it's self-defense.

asoww · 2021-02-12T03:54:02+00:00

Yup I do I guess. I appreciate and envy a lot selfless poeple who do things for me. It makes me feel quickly accepted and warm. It's such a great feeling and I'd like to be able to give it to others too. So I'd like to stop having an issue with it and feel less anxious about it so I can trust myself finding out quickly who would take advantage of me and who won't. Because of the way I was raised I am constantly afraid of being taken advantage of, it is a strong source of anxiety.

Mind-Objective · 2021-02-12T03:55:44+00:00

I do. I just want everyone to be taken care of and happy.

Title	Anyone else struggles with not being selfless?
Author	Mcccy
Upvotes	109
Comments	15
Date	February 12, 2021 1:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lhztnb/anyone_else_struggles_with_not_being_selfless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/anyone-else-struggles-with-not-being-selfless.740001 https://theredarchive.com/post/740001

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