Will I even find one?

AsOctoberFalls · 2018-01-23T17:52:56+00:00

I have a feeling that most men that are dominant and exhibit strong leadership have never heard of TRP. I don’t think that group is a good representation of the type of man that you want (it’s DEFINITELY not for me). You can find a strong, masculine man with leadership qualities by vetting for those qualities as you’re meeting men and dating.

I would call my boyfriend the “captain” type, and those traits are just ingrained in him - he’s never heard of TRP. I noticed those qualities in him when we were just friends (at the time i was married to my ex, who is as far removed from a captain as it is possible for a man to be). After i divorced, i knew he was the type of man i wanted to be with. And when we started dating, everything was easy and close to perfect right out of the gate. If you go in with eyes wide open and observe people as you get to know them, you’ll be fine.

Whisper · 2018-01-24T04:46:35+00:00

TRP and RPW are both about sexual strategy. But the members of each group are not necessarily each other's dating pool.

In general, only the most senior and knowledgeable people from either side of the line are capable of meaningful participation on the other.

The game isn't precisely symmetric. Women have only one "win" condition (stable, high-quality LTR), and men have two (stable, high-quality LTR or bang lots of sluts).

TRP is focused on men's second win condition precisely because circumstances favor it, and because it more rapidly teaches male attractiveness skills. But TRP does teach both.

It's an open secret that most of the Vanguard members and Senior ECs are in relationships, having mostly tired of the plate-spinning thing, or simply not having time for it.

Don't go to TRP.

While the sort of men who are there might include your future husband, and indeed he might learn there how to be that man, what you see of him there would not look to you anything like the man of your dreams.

Give the whiskey time to age in the cask.

ClaireBear89 · 2018-01-23T20:11:29+00:00

Guys your age might all just want casual sex, have you tried dating men any older? Someone who has his shit together, has his confidence and is stable in his career and wants a steady girlfriend/potential wife might not also be 21. So if you'll accept the concept, where do you meet these guys? I reccomend in any athletic setting, an activity...met my husband skiing but I also mean the gym, rink, tennis courts, beach, hike, etc? You instantly have a thing in common and you know he's gonna be in shape.
Give it a try give us a field report. Gotta put yourself out there to meet someone so good luck

En-Zu · 2018-01-24T03:08:48+00:00

There's a definite fracture in the RP community itself if you pay attention to it or follow it closely. The old guard is always having to try to fight back against a creeping notion that with proper frame you can maintain a long-lasting relationship. I'll call them the hopefuls and the TRP old guard as the despondents.

The hopefuls are unwilling to embrace the mantra "enjoy the decline" like the despondents. That mantra means that society is crumbling past the point of repair, that societal conditions are such that they'll be unsalvageable, the nuclear family is doomed and the future is one of sexless beta men and decadent alpha males. Their goal is to be one of the decadent alpha males and watch the world crumble around them but live it up while they can. They're a bit more apocalyptic all in all. It's the alarmism that gives RP its intensity.

The hopefuls are a different bunch. They're on RP but they're generally a more conservative crowd, tend to be religious but don't have to be. They recognize the decline but see it more as a surmountable challenge for the West and think that with proper conditioning and culture the trends can be reversed, the decline can be halted, and perhaps even reversed.

In any case, I mention these undercurrents, the mainstream and the defectors both, to point out that, while the mainstream RP thought is more consistent, compelling, and endorsed by the community, there is still this consistent source of tension from the minority position.

Whether you think that that minority position is a result of an innate human longing for a genuine connection with the opposite sex OR merely the product of "conservatives" invading and finding common cause with the RP crowd while not truly grasping its meaning...

Well i guess that's up for you to decide. If you think it's the former, then I think you can be a little more confident in dismissing the hard-nosed positions of the TRP hardliners. If you think it's more the latter...well, conservatives are a dying breed and its up for constant debate whether they're Blue Pill or not.

Tl;dr: Find some Conservative dude. I say this as a generally Liberal, areligious dude.

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2018-01-23T22:34:54+00:00

Good men, strong men, want a quality woman to settle down and have a family with ultimately. They just have little confidence many are out there. Be one, be choosey, and the right man will find you.

girlwithabike · 2018-01-23T17:47:14+00:00

Will I even find one?

Woman, you are all over the place! I think a part of the (seeming) chaos in your head is that you aren't currently dating. At least if I'm remembering your post history correctly, you want to wait to meet someone until you immigrate to the US. I think that "wait and see" attitude, while logical, is making you feel a little nutty.

Do you have an actual game plan for meeting an alpha dominant man? It's possible having a concrete plan will calm your brain a little bit.

Also, you really really need to stop going on TRP. It is a valuable resource but not at the expense of your sanity. Remember too, many of the men on TRP are there because they have struggled with women and the male/female dynamic in the past. You are dealing with a group of men that have a very specific set of life circumstances that may or may not be what you run into in the real world. Read the sidebar and the theory, but stay away from the comments and the individual posts. The way men communicate and help each other is harsh and aggressive. It's not meant for us or our consumption.

I said this before but: I was 23 when I met my husband, 24 when we started dating and 30 when we got married. I'm not sure why you are feeling such pressure at 21 but you have to take a deep breath and chill. You have been reeking of desperation in most of your posts, if you come across that way in your dating life, you are going to drive men away before you even start!

Littleknownfacts · 2018-01-23T17:32:32+00:00

I don't really understand what your asking. But I can tell you your solution is to stop going to trp. They are not talking to you or about you. A lot of them are just venting their stress, and most of what they say isn't reflected in the way the world actually works from the female POV. Let them do their thing and you worry about you.

DickTerper · 2018-01-23T20:36:59+00:00

when you read what they say it makes me scared that the only alphas or dominant men are like them and only want sex and never want to settle down..

Most guys on Reddit are young. Alphas do settle down, but typically much later in life, towards their mid 30s or even 40s.

Also, it's hard to get an alpha to settle down, but I'm sure you knew that before your trip to RP.

I’m highly neurotic so I have a tendency to get anxiety.

That would kill your prospects of ever settling down with an "alpha", or even dating one seriously. Take care of this first.

High-value men won't put up with a woman who can't handle her own emotions.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-01-24T16:18:06+00:00

TRP is a super extreme version of dominant men. It is not actually representative of what dominant men look or act like.

Think of it like a group of motivational speeches given before sporting events. The stuff guys yell to each other when they’re down at halftime. It’s not representative of actual dominant men in really any way

Getthefupandgo1023 · 2018-01-25T03:12:56+00:00

Here’s the deal the way I see it. TRP is focused on bringing men up from being submissive beta boys, to being dominant confident men. It is wired strictly for men, who need to have our asses kicked from time to time to be able to change behavior. TRP is intentionally heavy fisted. I look at it as more of a superinflated caricature of how men need to start behaving. Intentionally so, because it aint possible for 99% of men to go full out alpha (the other 1% are in jail or major conglomerate CEO’s). TRP is aimed at the lower betas to get their lives together. Shoot for the sky, but MOST would be lucky to get half way. In my own case, I was a natural Alpha; but got married and began to view my wife as my “equal”: happy wife happy life, sure sweety ill do whatever you want type of living. My marriage ended, and my life a HELL because of what I sincerely thought was the right thing to do. After TRP, I have slowly been getting back to my real self. Now some of my posts are most assuredly dark (my one on having a child especially so), but is simply a rant on what I was going through at the time. Do I think all men should not have or want children. Absolutely not! Do I think most men don’t ever really think about the true sacrifice on our end of the deal? Absolutley. I know I didn’t. So again, my intention was to create a charicature so dark that men would be FORCED to actually think about the reality of what they would be getting into; and not just gloss over it and think, “it aint that tough...anybody can or even should do it!”
LT;DR: don’t take TRP at face value- even though there are plenty of men doing it as well. And others are just discovering their new found abilities for the first time and are finding out what they can do with them!

SmamelessMe · 2018-01-23T18:08:04+00:00

Calm down.

You'll figure it out.

The TRP has selection bias, like a lot of other communities on Reddit. Dissenting information is not really welcome, so it does not get posted that much, since it risks getting down-voted into oblivion.

For all it's shortcomings, TRP, MGTOW, PUA and MRA is primarily a place where men go to un-learn society's conditioning, that has been convincing them whole their life, that women are perfect independent unicorns who need no man, and want sensitive, submissive men to fall to their every whim.

I would dare to say that those who succeed to integrate core TRP principles into their life leave, since they have no more use for more information. Those who stay behind tend to follow more 'extreme' ideas of the TRP. Keep in mind that there are plenty of women who are happy to be promiscuous. And at the same time there are plenty of plate-spinning TRP men. They all tend to find each other.

If the number of upvotes in my recent comment is any indication, I'm not alone in thinking this.

CrazyHorseInvincible · 2018-01-25T08:01:56+00:00

Blanket criticisms of TRP or the men who comment there will be removed.

Don't make me lock the thread.

Replanner · 2018-01-23T23:45:44+00:00

Hi,

(Quick note do mod: yes, this is a new account. That's my first post here, and even though I read a lot of the posts on TRP subs, my (few) post where on a deleted account. I also participated a little bit on sosuave.net. If you think I'm not contributing to this thread, by all means, delete this post)

First, take a deep breath.

I understand your feeling after being on r/RP for a while. I think everyone gets a little surprised with their perspectives when it comes to relationships. But don't take their word so seriously. A good share of the users there is there literally to fuck women, and they don't even hide it. Even though most reasonably users keep saying that's not the point of the sub.

Also, most "successful red pill men" don't waste time there (that's maybe the reason for my few posts :p), as it is not really useful if they're enjoying their lives. You may notice that the wiser commenters are also the less active.

Now, finding TRP was kind of a shock to me at first. But it helped me a lot. I don't take their 'guides' as rules, as I always think that you need to act with reason. But is also undeniable that they throw some harsh trues at you.

Let me contextualize a little more:

I had a girlfriend about two years ago. I didn't know TRP at the time, but she kind of had made me act much more manly. Not because she changed me, but because she freed me. She freed me from most of the bullshit we throw at since we are kids. And the relationship became much more pleasant. Our sex became great because I literally stopped worrying about "being the gentle knight". Instead, I became myself. We had crazy nights at the time. She absolutely loved to please me, both in bed and in life. But at some point, I fucked up. I say "I" because I don't blame her for what happened, especially after discovering RP. I was not what she expected of me, and she even let it clear when we break up. In the first months, I acted like she saw me: like a leader. But at some point, I had this terrible idea of being 'a very nice guy'. I didn't make decisions anymore, I avoided discussions, I didn't have strong points. I was acting as her friend. Well, don't need to explain how it ended. Funny enough, RP opened my eyes on this subject too: she fell in love with me because I was absolutely NOT trying to earn her acceptance. For the first time, I was not taking the girls seriously. I joked with her, laughed with her and at her as well. She had a high self-esteem and commonly boasted about her beauty. I didn't take this seriously as well.

So, for men like me who are tired of being blue pilled, the discovery of RP is refreshing. Is easy (and tempting) to take what r/RP say as a rule, but I don't think this is good. I'm still bound to the idea of family, and I think that what the sub did was making me aware that I still have things to change. Taking the red pill had made me aware of how much I'm attractive. The confidence boost alone made me notice how much girls look at me on a daily basis, and even my female friends started looking me with different eyes (very weird for me at first).

Most men want to have a family. It is in our genes too. For me, being RP means knowing that being a male means being responsible not only for yourself but also for your woman and children. It's not trying to load your woman with crap and putting her in charge of you and your whole life. It also is not making her your 'buddy' because she doesn't want that role. If she loves you, she doesn't want to be in charge of your life. She loves you exactly because you can handle your fucking life, and hopefully take care of her and the rest of the family.

There are RP men out there looking for a marriage with an RP girl. It's just that there aren't too many of them, and they don't come with the forehead painted lol

Of course, I'm still not sure of the number of things I really believe are necessary on RP relationships and what don't, how you should treat women so they keep respecting you and how you shouldn't - because yes, I do believe women suffer from instincts exactly like a man, and not always what she consciously think she wants is what she really wants. Some RP advices sound completely asshole-like though, and I don't think that being a male - or for that matter, an 'Alpha' - is being an asshole. What I do know is that all blue pill relationship I know ends up terribly bad.

In the end, all I know for sure is that when a woman is in truly in love she makes you feel like a king. That making a girl submit to you in bed means an awesome night of sex for both of you. That you need to keep chasing your dreams and focusing on yourself because your wife doesn't want you to focus your whole attention on her. That she expect you to lead her and be confident in your decisions because that's why she trusted you to parent their children. And that's why I consider myself red pilled.

Keep calm, girl. Men are looking for girls like you, they just don't know it yet.

Title	Will I even find one?
Author	Blueeyeddd
Upvotes	26
Comments	124
Date	January 23, 2018 5:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7sfzbw/will_i_even_find_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/will-i-even-find-one.74148 https://theredarchive.com/post/74148

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