Does anyone else have to suffer having a LVM brother?

Nearby-Armadillo · 2020-03-13T14:02:50+00:00

I've said on several occasions that the baby boomers raised a generation of kickass daughters and utterly failed with their sons. Not only do they have the violent tendencies and pornsickness of previous generations, they also can't hold a job or move out of their parents' basements. Yes I have a brother in his 40s who still lives with our parents. Meanwhile I've been on my own since age 19 and am kicking ass at life.

2020-03-13T15:27:50+00:00

My brother is a pornsick hikikomri. I wouldn't be surprised if he was an incel. He's never had a gf and he's in his 30s. I don't think he's kissed. I also wonder if he's autistic though.

So my theory is that baby boomers are assholes and raised their daughters to be the third parent so they wouldn't have to do as much work. The daughters became hyper vigilant. What's funny is in the four loves by CS Lewis he basically pointed out this phenomenon. I forget the exact quote but "the daughter is to learn to give and do everything for everything and never allowed to accept anyone doing or giving anything to her." It was basically a signaling of a breakdown of familial live when that happens.

I'm the youngest in my family but I'm everyone's mom. I constantly got asked if I was the older child because I held my brothers hand through life. If we're at the grocery store and he's standing in someone's way, I have to tell him to move out of the person's way. He has no concept of basic human interaction. He's all Ego. Being around him even when he's not being mean is hard because imagine trying to manage your life while also telling an adult how to exist on a basic level.

I just avoid him as best I can now. But he lives with my parents, so I have to see him sometimes. The good thing is he doesn't leave his room unless he has to.

ralviee · 2020-03-13T14:21:55+00:00

I’ve seen my own brother struggle like that, and I’m going to tell you: the only person who can heal him is himself.

The whole family tried to get through to him to no avail. It was only after he started taking his own shit seriously that we started seeing any real improvement; I don’t know exactly what triggered the change, but he ultimately managed to kick his inner demons and land his dream job. But it took years, and heartache, and struggle, and there’s still more path to walk to this day.

It sucks, but sometimes cutting someone off is the only way you can actually help them. He needs to figure his own shit out.

From the outside, it doesn’t matter how many doors we open, windows we crack, or holes we blow into walls: if the person were trying to help doesn’t move it’s not going to do anything.

Bigfatbeech · 2020-03-13T15:39:21+00:00

My brother is 29 and lives on my moms couch. He doesn't even pay rent or bills. He works 6 hours a week washing dishes. He says he won't date because "all girls are sluts", and that he never intends to move out. Chronic stoner.

My other brother is 26, he has knocked up two 17 year old girls now, he married one (abandoned the other) because in his words "then she can never leave me". However, 2 months after the second baby was born he confided to us that he is bored of them both and plans to leave so he can do "guy shit". Meth addict.

Looked up to both of them as a child. :)

Davina33 · 2020-03-13T15:35:50+00:00

I can totally relate. I have 3 younger brother and they are all LVM. They all have drink/drug issues and are violent towards women. One has only had one job, which he lost after 2 months after he was caught stealing. It's especially upsetting as I have 2 gorgeous nephews by one brother but he has nothing to do with them. He calls his sons names as well. I had to distance myself for my own sanity. My brothers' father is a violent alcoholic and my mother is an evil narcissist. I'm sad they continued the cycle of abuse.

FDStrategist · 2020-03-13T18:21:11+00:00

I have a LVM as a brother. He’s 27 and still lives between my mum’s and my dad’s houses. He is pornsick and has been for a long time. He has never had a girlfriend. He does have a sex doll. If any girl ever does try to date him I will tell her she can do better because I dread to think how he would treat a real human woman.

Sometimes I feel sad for him and the life he has, but he has made his own choices and turned down every offer of support.

pinkyberries · 2020-03-13T14:21:56+00:00

My cousin is similar. He's mid 20's.

He has a job (low paying minimum job from picking a bad degree that has no work in the field he studied) but he smokes loads of weed and wastes his money on bs.

He always makes fun of his girlfriend, calling her fat and ugly and doesn't bother to buy her stuff or get her a birthday gift. She is such a good and kind person but also a big pickmeisha...

throwaway-786786 · 2020-03-13T21:54:34+00:00

No my brother is surprisingly a HVM. Not sure how that happened as I turned out to be a LVW pick me type growing up in the same household.

He’s 19 and has never dated anyone. Girls have approached him but he won’t give any girl a chance unless he sees her as relationship material. He’s still a virgin, and has not consumed alcohol or drugs (could also be bc he’s a bit more religious).

He can’t even fathom the idea of “using” a woman through ONS or FWB. He just rejects LVW.

I’m proud of him but I also disdain him because he was always so much more popular and showered with attention from peers and girls in particular

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-03-13T14:56:32+00:00

Yes mine is actually dangerous and was everything great like yours was. Until he wasn’t.

Radiant_Success · 2020-03-13T14:51:09+00:00

I don't have a brother, but I always say that these males out here are losers because it is acceptable and condoned by the people that they love, value, and respect the most, whether its their mommy, their sister, their father, their brother or whoever, no one is seriously demanding, expecting, or requiring better of them. They receive unconditional love, help, favors, affection, kindness, and enabling behavior from the people that they value the most. The people whose opinions they respect the most are not telling them the truth: they are good for nothing losers who aren't contributing anything of value to themselves or to the people they love. They aren't men.

Stop coddling these boys. Give them the truth and demand better from them, with ultimatums that you will stick to.

Sewud · 2020-03-13T18:58:14+00:00

My brothers are acceptably HVM by virtue of coming from a good family, having a useful college degree and holding a white collar job. Most importantly, they don't do drugs and are loyal to their wives. However, their wives are doctors who do everything for them. I'm not sure my brothers would stay loyal to their wives if they didn't score such awesome high-earning wives. What would they do if their wives didn't take care of everything while earning and looking great? They might flounder like other millenials if they didn't have a strong woman doing everything for them.

2020-03-14T14:42:31+00:00

My brother a LVM. He treats women like maids, uses negging on them, and is always up to shady shit behind their backs. I hate that pickmes flock to him, he’s 6’3” and lives in his own place in a nice part of town at 27 (which he inherited, he didn’t work for it). My step-dad is a total HVM, he’s awesome, it’s such a shame his behaviour didn’t rub off on my brother.

Title	Does anyone else have to suffer having a LVM brother?
Author	chiclettteeth
Upvotes	74
Comments	30
Date	March 13, 2020 2:00 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fi02i3/does_anyone_else_have_to_suffer_having_a_lvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/does-anyone-else-have-to-suffer-having-a-lvm.750997 https://theredarchive.com/post/750997

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