[SEEKING ADVICE] What are some good self-care practices to do after leaving a toxic (LVM/pickme) relationship?

Evil_Rao · 2020-02-18T13:33:22+00:00

Here are some stuff I did that helped me go through my break up:

- Find new hobbies (in my case, dance lessons)

- Make new (girl) friends

- Hit the gym

- Skincare, nail care, hair care... if I look good I feel good

- See a therapist

- Watch my favorite comedy/reality TV shows

- Listen to the FDS playlist :)

2020-02-18T13:54:33+00:00

This was me last spring! It’s tough, I know, but here’s what helped:

Block and do not creep his social media. This is incredibly important.
It’s inevitable you’ll be thinking about him. When this happens and you reflect on the relationship, make sure you’re not romanticizing anything. Instead, focus purposefully on all the bad times. The really bad times.
STAY BUSY. I did this through drinks and activities with friends, taking my dog hiking, working on a hiking challenge with friends, and riding my bike. I made sure I had plans lined up every weekend. You can also volunteer. I volunteered fostering kittens which kept me very very busy.
Seek therapy. Very important. You can’t expect to rely on your friends for all emotional support.
Remember that you WILL get past it and on to greener pastures. It’s just a matter of time.)

(Bonus: some people cope by drinking or drugging more than normal. Lord knows we’ve all done it. It’s not super beneficial imho but if you do catch yourself drinking a bit much every now and then don’t beat up on yourself. Just course correct. )

daglowup · 2020-02-18T13:12:34+00:00

Health and wellness (but like evidence based not Gwyneth Paltrow shit), investing in female friendships, getting ahead in your career and setting financial goals.

Face masks and bubble baths are fine but they won’t bring tangible, long term results. :) All the best!

dezzymoo · 2020-02-18T14:50:48+00:00

When I got out of a bad relationship, one quick thing that helped me feel a lot better was a whole day where I just did what I wanted by myself. The night before, I cleaned my room and had a nice long bath and then went to bed early so I woke up well rested. My "me" day was getting my nails done, going to a local bakery, doing some shopping, and just kind of wandering around and enjoying my new freedom. I felt a thousand times better at the end of the day.

riseaboveagain · 2020-02-18T14:27:19+00:00

Hooray for you for taking steps to improve your life! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

For me, the most helpful: - Exercise - Spend time with friends - talk with good therapist (EMDR is a life-changer!) - Clean and reorganize closets - like others noted, self care: for me, salon visits are huge uppers: nails, threading, waxing, hair, spray tan (I freaking love those) - New art on the walls - Change your routines to change your thought patterns and remind yourself you and your life are now different - take walks in new places, drive a different route, shop at new stores

sadpourtoujours · 2020-02-18T19:12:31+00:00

In addition to everything everyone else has said, delete all the photos of him or him and you from your phone.

prettyexcitingnews · 2020-02-18T13:14:27+00:00

For me reading and meditation helps heaps.

duckfeatherduvet · 2020-02-18T13:28:08+00:00

Time by yourself - hiking, journalling, baths, urban exploring, sewing, drawing, as well as the other suggestions people are making. Make sure you give yourself chance to feel a really deep calm and peace now you're free

Blackishcat27 · 2020-02-18T19:11:29+00:00

Cord cutting to help with never going back and breaking those toxic ties.

dilligent_squatter · 2020-02-18T21:33:28+00:00

Pretty much the same as everyone else is saying. I squatted out my feelings at the gym, went to therapy, and spent time with friends and family. Also spent my money on stuff for me since I no longer had to pay for his broke ass: wine, facials, got my hair done.

I will say though, self imposed structure and keeping a routine definitely helped me keep moving forward and stopped me from wasting my energy on someone who wasn’t worth it. Having a strict schedule/routine for skincare, gym time, work, etc. as much as you can. Eventually you ease up but when it’s fresh after a breakup if you keep busy and don’t fall out of your routine, the less and less you care about old Mr. Dusty.👍

cannedboelyn · 2020-02-18T20:33:55+00:00

The main ones I have seen while watching YouTube is eating healthy, exercise, learn a new hobby, spend time on friendships

galian84 · 2020-02-18T21:12:34+00:00

Everyone already gave really great suggestions :) I wanted to add as well...Groupon/LivingSocial have been my best friends - go for massages, facials, spa days, mani-pedis at a discount. Also signed up for ClassPass and found so many amazing new classes and studios.

Enjoy doing you and go live your best life!

Title	[SEEKING ADVICE] What are some good self-care practices to do after leaving a toxic (LVM/pickme) relationship?
Author	B4P3ST4
Upvotes	31
Comments	14
Date	February 18, 2020 1:05 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f5ri61/seeking_advice_what_are_some_good_selfcare/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/seeking-advice-what-are-some-good-self-care.751047 https://theredarchive.com/post/751047

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