Good Rules For Your Financial Life

jayofthedeadx · 2020-02-02T19:30:41+00:00

I'm absolutely living by this now. After my previous relationship ended, I had nowhere to go and I absolutely hated that.

Now I'm in a new relationship and looking to buy my own house and everyone's like, are you purchasing together? Nope! It's mine.

jebemo · 2020-02-02T19:43:05+00:00

I have a question ladies! It applies to one of these rules.

My recent ex is currently hanging this over my head and I think its bullshit. About a year ago I purchased my home that required a major renovation. My father who is a contractor lead the reno project, however the three of us put in the physical labor to get it done. The house was purchased by me- every single document, requirement for this unique loan, inspection, third party call or purchase was handled and coordinated by me. I paid over 30k $ and my boyfriend paid zilch. The purpose of the home was to build and grow a family TOGETHER.

I dumped him about 3 months ago because he had been hiding a heroin addiction from me for over a year. I found out 3 months prior to the final break up and at that point made him go to therapy, staged an intervention, and was piss testing him several times a week. Turns out he was faking his sobriety. Once I found out I broke things off. NOW, he still feels that I owe him for the labor put on the house!! I have paid for so much throughout our relationship, had he not fucked it up he would have had a beautiful home with no financial input or any fucking work coordinating and making it happen. He still, 3 months later, is using my shop space as storage for his shit- he comes by every weekend to work on it. Am I in the wrong here? Do I owe him money for his help a year ago?

Ishouldbewriting83 · 2020-02-02T18:19:29+00:00

I agree with the sentiment of the "name on the least thing," but that can be a double-edged sword. If you break up and you want to leave, you are still on the hook for that place. I've seen too many friend have to live with exes after a break up, and absolutely hell no to doing that. I literally had to think hard about how to go about this with my husband when we decided to move in together. If I'm the only one on the lease, he could still claim squatting rights and I'd have to go through a crap ton of stuff to evict him. We decided to get a place he could afford on his own in case shit went south, so I could immediately pack up and go when I wanted to. He paid the whole deposit himself too. I made sure I had the money to get a place of my own ASAP if necessary. We didn't buy any furniture together or combine any bank accounts. Obviously, he is my husband so everything worked out great. But, it's worth considering as a way to protect yourself even if you are engaged. I'm coming from the mindset of someone who had to leave an abusive relationship before, this is why I had to think about this.

whycantweallgetal0ng · 2020-02-02T16:58:28+00:00

Amen.

30137509 · 2020-02-02T17:57:18+00:00

Printing this and nailing it to my bed post.

red_lrker_0612 · 2020-02-02T20:24:44+00:00

This was powerful, thank you for posting!

not_your_guru · 2020-02-03T20:33:21+00:00

I made the decision never to live with a man again. I have a boyfriend but we will NEVER live together, let alone share a bank account.

Title	Good Rules For Your Financial Life
Author	purasangria
Upvotes	425
Comments	27
Date	February 2, 2020 4:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/exr4q0/good_rules_for_your_financial_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/good-rules-for-your-financial-life.751085 https://theredarchive.com/post/751085

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