I'm a boring 30 something woman with nothing to offer but griping, complaints, superficial bullshit, and hatred of children; but I am still waiting for an establi$hed older man to wisk me away and provide $omething "better than I deserve." Where's my ATM servant been for the past 11 years?

coke501 · 2021-04-26T18:25:20+00:00

I'm actually impressed. A wall of text and not a single word about you. Or why I'd actually would want you.

But I'll have to say, I like how you have your priorities straigt. I mean, you spent years searching for someone to change your life. Other people just do that. Change their lives, I mean. But not you. You are confident enough to believe that your prince is right around the corner, showing you the way. Except if he doesn't look good enough for you. Then you keep on waiting.

I foresee a lonely future in this one.

Joh_Ghurt · 2021-04-26T18:26:42+00:00

I really love the delusion that a more liberal place will increase her chances of finding her one true love.

And if it really were so, why didn't she move? She's single, no kids. Start looking for a job in a more promising place.

Everyone loves a complainer.

SCCock · 2021-04-26T19:05:30+00:00

"I always refuse to settle with someone better than what I deserve"

Wait. What?

Sake99 · 2021-04-26T18:11:18+00:00

Gee I wonder why she's single

make_reddit_great · 2021-04-26T20:40:17+00:00

[ ] Improve yourself and be worthy of someone special

[X] Create an unreasonably long list of demands for the perfect partner

marcusaureliuswisdom · 2021-04-26T18:54:08+00:00

When I see collectivist, authoritarian zealots like this that are child free I lift my hands to Heaven—there’s nothing better than voluntarily breeding out degenerate ideas.

Joaquino7997 · 2021-04-26T19:03:14+00:00

Basically in exchange for a clean-shaven demigod who has beaucoup bucks at his disposal, he at best gets...well, not much.

Put down the trimmer and swipe left NOW!

ThaiEscapePlan · 2021-04-26T18:16:43+00:00

A very long list of complaints and demands. But nothing in there about what she brings to make a man's life better.

She complains about her "toxic" location and how she wants to live in a "liberal, progressive" area. So she is left wing politically and likely swallowed the feminist brainwashing package.

She has no hobbies interest other than true crime.

She hates kids, as mentioned above.

She is not into "kinky" stuff. So starfish is likely the bedroom staple.

No mention of whether is she is attractive and/or fit. So likely not.

Can she cook? Is she feminine and would be a submissive/non dominating partner? Highly doubtful.

She's been picky and picked over for 11 years. no relationship to speak of during this time.

She could not sell what she offers during her prime in a seller's market..

Now she is about to discover how much harder closing the deal will be in a buyer's market.

mr_kuk · 2021-04-27T01:19:51+00:00

30 [F4M] I’m beyond tired of making post after post and not getting increasing amounts of quality attention. But I’m looking for a strong connection from many online orbiters. Are you a willing orbiter?

For many years I’ve been searching nonstop to find that one strong everlasting tingle that will change my life somehow. I won't lie, I've been wanting to find tingles for 11 years. That's how long I've been a slut. I always refuse to accept my level and I'm disgusted to accept someone on my own level. I want to be haaaappy all the time with the one person that doesn't want me instead of wasting my time with the wrong person, which I've been doing all my life. Life really is too short to waste away on the wrong people, so I'll keep doing that I guess, tihi. But that doesn’t make the journey any less painful, but the occasional tingle makes it all worth it. I’ve mentioned this before, I take pump and dump situationships seriously and I always have. I’m not at all the casual dating fling type nor am I the polyamorous type, I'm the slut type. The right pump and dump for me is based on tingles, tingles, tingles, open tingle-ing and always having tingles. Being in love is definitely important too but the rest is what's the real foundation for creating a haaaappy healthy pump and dump. I’m aware that tingles aren't enough to sustain a romance, but that hasn't stopped me in the past and won't stop me in the future.

My name is Thotiana, I do live in the US. My life definitely isn’t what I want it to be right now but I know eventually I'll gather up the effort to move and get a better life with a dog and or cats. Deep down I truly do have a thirst to experience what lengths and girths life has to offer. At the moment my location, where I have chosen to place myself, is too toxic to bother putting myself out there. It’s definitely a case of living in the right place with the right people. If I lived in a bigger more liberal progressive area I’d be more than willing to go out more and engage with the world more and feed my passions for tingles. I’m passionate about travel (but not paying) and nature and animals along with heavy metal music, I'm as basic as they come. Been a metal fan for many years so that means that going to a live show (where a guy I won't sleep with is paying) is on my future bucket list. Five finger death punch, rammstein, slipknot, are just a few I'd love to see, but don't want to pay for.

The rest of my hobbies might be kinda boring but that’s because I am boring and I have a boring life. I mostly read pop-crap and I’m really a fan of pop-crap.

Movie wise I’m pretty into horror and thrillers and some comedies, I told you I was basic. I’m not into anything in the sci-fi genre or sci-fi stuff in general honestly, get away from me, creeps!

I probably should have mentioned this in the beginning. I do have standards for myself when I look for a relationship, tingles über alles! My ideal type would be genuine-hawt, considerate-hawt, easy going-hawt, open minded-hawt, strictly monogamous-hawt, intelligent-hawt, emotionally mature-hawt and stable-hawt and hard working-hawt yet funny-hawt and understanding-hawt, bascially hawt-hawt. The next part is hard to admit, but I want to be as upfront and honest as I can be on the internet. Physical attraction (must be hawt) is important to me and voice (your voice must be hawt) is also highly important in determining whether there’s compatibility. I don’t expect a match to look like a celebrity or a Greek god by any means, I expect much hawter! I’m just attracted to what I’m attracted to (hawt) and that’s just the way I am, a tingles-driven slut. I’m really not a fan of beards (I know this is awkward and even more awkward to type, but I just want to dictate how a man should look) but if a guy has a small well kept beard (if he's hawt) and it looks good on him (if he's hawt) then I'd likely consider a possibility, if he's hawt. I’m not bashing bearded guys in any way, unless they're not hawt (if you're not hawt and have a beard kill yourself. Hahah this shit will pass the reddit censors because it's directed at men!), if you have a beard you love then you do you and don’t change that to please some one.

Ok, I think I’ve rambled enough. But that’s me being an open honest random slut on an anti-social platform. If you happen to fit what I’ve described (hawt) then you're welcome to message me, I'm desperate because all the hawt guys blocked me on OLD, I've nowhere else to go. Also, another highly important factor, I’m a strict child free person so my ideal match also needs to be child free with no kids and doesn’t want any and must be hawt and rich and I'll be stay at home wife, but will not perform any wifely duties most pertinent amongst them being fucking birthing your progeny! I'd truly appreciate that to be considered since it’s kinda disrespectful to reach out to a child free person when you have children or want any one day, unless you're hawt. I’m not into any kinky stuff either, again unless you're hawt. I mention that cause I’ve seen many posts here from creepy perverts who are into the dom/bdsm thing whilst not being hawt. Nope. Not for me at all, unless you're hawt. If you're into that, and you're hawt, fine I'm game. But also take that into consideration please, you have to be hawt. Reddit is a wild and scary place and therefore it makes sense to put a personal ad here. But full of opportunities so that’s why I keep trying, because I'm desperate.

I prefer older men to contact me as well. 36-42 rich and hawt with little to no sex drive would be best.

Nesarry31 · 2021-04-26T20:03:52+00:00

A long long list of demands with nothing that she brings to the table. We can assume she’s hit the wall and is more than likely overweight. Why would a man that she is describing choose a her for a relationship? If she’s willing to type this up for strangers imagine the amount of bitching you’ll have to deal with on a daily basis while stuffing this pigs face for starfish sex once a month. Run men run!

FormerBTfan · 2021-04-26T20:17:49+00:00

So she wants older guys who are in their prime especially financially for the most part hmmmm. The age range she wants gets to bang nice tight slim 20 something's. So kind of.like going from 25 year old single malt scotch to a 40 of malt liquor. Ah no thanks as we older fellas busted our balls and earned our scotch the correct way.

Few more months and this one will have an only fans and a cat castle taking up her living room.

Delusions of grandeur from another hamster burning out the cheap ass bearings on the wheel.

Round and round and round it goes Old wrinkly fat with cats as every one knows.

itsandrewbuck · 2021-04-26T19:15:00+00:00

Can I get that five minutes of pointless droning back?

Great way to tell everyone the 59 characteristics that this guy must have -- well, meaning shouldn't must have but she'd prefer to have, unless there's some minor exception or loophole -- to be considered, but no cognition that this is the reason that she's still single at 30 and hasn't had a steady relationship. Cause & effect at play do ya think? What was the definition of insanity again -- doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result?

She does not want a guy. She wants a sounding board about why she can't find THE guy that SHE wants because he cannot tick all of the boxes on her list, and then she'll use that to go back and kvetch to her female friends about how there are no good men out there for her because she's already excluded all of the possibilities that she will not consider.

ETA to having 5 cats: 3 years.

Silent-Gur-1418 · 2021-04-26T21:58:37+00:00

> claims to be a major metal fan

> lists Five Finger Fruit Punch and Slipknot as "grail" bands

Top fuckin' kek. She's a poser.

MrNeurotypical · 2021-04-26T22:29:01+00:00

She actually knows her shit about what makes a good relationship. I asked her out 11 years ago and she said, "I'm not attracted to you". Oh well, my wife is :)

Svartanatten · 2021-04-27T03:49:39+00:00

I've seen her entire bucket list and that ain't heavy metal....

CondensedBemusement · 2021-04-28T01:23:03+00:00

WOW!

A 30 year old who has spent virtually her entire adult life single and is complaining that life is too short? In 11 years this twat could have done anything but she's clearly in the same place she started doing the same shit she's always done.

What we have here is a very unattractive (could be personality, could be physical) woman who has justified her failure to attract men by blaming the men around her.

Because she's a failure she blames her location as 'toxic'. Yet we can bet that plenty of other women her age, in the same location, have found boyfriends, and husbands. Which I imagine just makes her think the place is all the more toxic, because nobody will put up with her.

migi777 · 2021-04-27T03:19:45+00:00

I can’t believe she waited to the bottom paragraph to mention that she does not and will never want kids. That’s like, that’s why you’re not getting bites, girl.

Mister_McDerp · 2021-04-27T08:55:42+00:00

F4M? Female for men?

sleepyweaselisawake · 2021-04-26T18:25:17+00:00

I can only imagine what this ugly, fat, disgusting wildebeest looks like.

Hunk_Maggot · 2021-04-27T00:25:22+00:00

The only thing she can say is " ME ME ME ME ME" how self centered can this woman be?

NickTesla2018 · 2021-04-27T00:39:27+00:00

ZZZzzz... I can already tell, TMW = too much work.

Stahlboden · 2021-04-27T05:19:32+00:00

The "deserve" mentality really wins public sympathy here. You are entitled to be given a unit of a high quality specimen of a human male just because you exist, right.

2021-04-27T08:08:34+00:00

I always refuse to settle with someone better than what I deserve

Hahahaha, I wonder if that was intentional

meerita · 2021-04-27T21:34:00+00:00

She wants to live in a liberal place? Does she want feminine men?

Gaiinahat · 2021-04-27T23:43:39+00:00

TLDR. Next.

TheApricotCavalier · 2021-05-01T03:28:53+00:00

Delusion is so powerful, harnessing it can be a great tool

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