I'm a 205 lbs 5"9 been into sports my whole life, keep good shape (need to for career) I'm about 13-14% bf and have a football running back physique. My girlfriend is 5"8, and 175 lbs, I won't use bullshit terms to downplay it like "thick and curvy" but she is a naturally slim, flat stomached woman with wide hips so can hide much of the weight gain under her clothes but it's apparent in her face. She used to be heavier (before we started dating) and has been slowly losing weight over time. She used to be much slimmer though but she had 2 knee surgeries which put a halt to much of her physical activity and dance (we've known each other since high school). She's been going to physiotherapy for it and things are getting better for her knee but I don't see much of a drive to really exercise and workout like I do. Her diet is adequate (not terrible) and doesn't binge or overeat- this is how she lost a lot of weight from when she was at her heaviest, but there really isn't a lot of incorporations of healthy whole foods outside of some mediocre supplementation and occasional home cooked meals.

I told her 175 is too heavy for her frame/height/sex many times in a helpful way and encouraged her to lose weight, she says she wants to, but will make excuses such as

  • she doesn't like eating vegetables too much (hence where the supplementation comes into play)
  • she hates doing home workouts (gyms closed due to quarantine)
  • surgery on her knee (this is actually a good excuse however it's been years since it happened and health care professionals confirmed she's able to do certain exercises like walking outside, core/ab workouts, any upper body work, glute/hamstring exercises, biking, rowing machines, etc. All of which are more than enough to get in shape)

The first time I ever brought it up that she was overwheight was almost a year ago and I didn't really put an emphasis or time frame on her losing weight or handling her shit.

However, recently I got really fed up with it because I'd ask her to do certain kinds of workous with me and she would pretend like her physio exercises (which is just rehab) are "enough" when they're only about 15 minutes of doing a couple of movements every other day. So I told her I'm going to give her three months to get her shit together and get a decent at home exercise routine or we're breaking up. I know three months is a lot of time but other things are going on in her life and I want to afford her every opportunity and all the time she needs to handle it

Is it mistake for dating someone who is objectively overweight hoping I can change them? Is three months too long of a time period? Did I do anything else wrong here? I really want her to change as I feel if she took care of her diet/health it would definitely help her mental health, appearance, and our sex life even. Thanks for any advice