So, I've turned my dating views around radically since finding FDS in 2020. Of course, because of the pandemic I didn't date a lot last year - I was seeing the one guy, a LVM, for about 3 months pre-FDS discovery.

Now, he knew exactly how to do the whole intermittent reinforcement, hot and cold. One of the few positive things I COULD say about this dude was that I knew that he'd be a 15 minute reply away at the very most. He was glued to his phone. His texting habits felt validating and reassuring (among the shit did to make me feel insecure about myself... sigh)

After I ended it with him, and a lot of focusing on myself, I've recently been asked out by someone who after knowing him in real life for 2-3 months has shown nothing but green flags so far. Catch being? He doesnt't seem to be big on texting. He'll take 30 mins-3 hours to respond, which obviously isn't a lot, but to someone like me who is used to more instant texting conversations over text it can feel disjointed.

I want the HVM that I'm seeing to have a fulfilling life, have goals, all that. I haven't given much thought to what his texting habits might look like, though. I feel that if you're dating someone who keeps themselves busy, they should make it very clear through actions and words that they're thinking about you, but they'll still have a lot going on apart from you and therefore not respond instantly all the time. Yet I'm looking back on the LVM I dated previously who was basically Dopamine Central when it came to texting. And no, that dude definitely did not have a life.

What are your thoughts on texting behaviors in HVMs, ladies? What should the frequency be? Is going a day without texting ok?

Edit: also, he's never said "I'm NoT GOoD at TExTiNG". I've seen him ignore his phone for many hours at a time, this seems to be the rule rather than the exception.