Alpha widowed/reformed gold digger problems

CountTheBees · 2021-06-27T03:39:51+00:00

I decided I want true love now and to settle down.

What made you decide this? Women who like casual sex/sex work generally don't like the idea of settling down, or they'd do it in the first place.

dontbotheraskingwhy · 2021-06-27T02:28:58+00:00

If you want someone more attractive, date someone more attractive. If you asked him to do something and he did it and you are still not satisfied, he’s not the issue.

Last, if you expect him to pay for your Uber, and otherwise pay for your company in some manner, you’re not out of the SD/sb lifestyle. If you want that in a vanilla relationship, you need to establish YOUR value to him. If you’re not taking care of him by doing his laundry, cleaning his home, etc, then where do you feel you’ve established the value that makes him WANT to pay for your Uber, your dinners, flowers, etc?

Inside_Ad_7292 · 2021-06-27T04:12:26+00:00

I’m gonna be really honest, so I’m sorry if it comes off rude. You sound really immature. It sounds like you have realized that you’re not getting any younger and thought that you could take your transactional business-like view of men into a serious relationship like it’s nothing, expect them to give you everything, and offer nothing. You spent your best years offering yourself up to the highest bidder, and men do not respect that. You need to some time to really figure out where your head is at, who you actually want to be, and to work on yourself before you get into a serious relationship, because you are going to have to prove your value to any man you date. I suggest you read the recommended books in the sidebar and think about what you really want. Because right now it sounds like you’re stuck in a very selfish mindset and good men will not tolerate that.

All_Lurk_No_Post365 · 2021-06-27T05:10:07+00:00

Not to attack you but I think you need to work on viewing relationships as emotional and on deeper connection rather than transactional. Years of being a sugar baby probably warped your view on relationships as being just an exchange of goods for sex. I'm not shaming you just trying to help. Try going on a date just looking for a good time and possibly a deeper connection and work form there to help repair. Best of luck, keep me posted.

SuperWriter07 · 2021-06-27T02:07:36+00:00

Not to be rude but I think you might have to lower your expectations considering your past

abacabbmk · 2021-06-27T02:18:30+00:00

You asked him to bring you flowers? Lol...

JustaTcup · 2021-06-27T02:45:31+00:00

Take a break. Don't be with any man. Be celibate. Pay for your own things. Get your head in the right place. You can't go into a traditional relationship with where your mind is at. It won't work. You have to spend some time with yourself and think over your own humility to be able to be do what it seems you want to do.

Luscious-Grass · 2021-06-27T03:47:47+00:00

It’s not typical in normal dating for a man to pay for a woman’s cab to and from a date nor is it typical to receive flowers on a simple date (as opposed to a special occasion when you are in a relationship).

It’s clear that you’re really out of touch with mainstream society. You need to start there.

Do you have a normal job now? Do you have normal female friends? You need to reintegrate yourself into society to even be able to relate to normal people at all, let alone date them. This will take some time.

Also, I suggest you omit your past. But in order to do that you’re going to need to really build a present. Unfortunately it is going to take a long time to do that, but you don’t have any other choice.

Also, in what way are you an alpha widow? You mention sugar baby relationships and fab, so where does being an alpha widow come in?

SamathaStevens · 2021-06-27T05:33:01+00:00

I think you need to reset how you interact with men. You need to give them a chance to lead and persue you. Your previous interactions with men where about what they could do for you to get what they wanted from you. Relationships don't work that way ,it needs more connection and you have to establish trust and closeness. Those things were less important before because there was a different understanding, it was more of a business agreement .

If you are looking for a long term relationship,you need to find someone who has similar values and interests. Looks and a great body are awesome but they don't keep men involved without other deeper connections. High value men like to chase women they like and sweep them off their feet. But by telling him to bring you flowers it takes any of fun out of it for both of you. It would have been nice for him to choose a gift that reminds him of you and the surprise of the gift would make you feel good. But all of that was lost by giving him his "assignment."

I think the hardest thing for you will be not asking what men can give you but what both of you can give to each other. Relationships involve patience and sacrifice, there is lots of for bettet or worse. But up until this point you have set the terms of interaction and named your price. Before you look for anyone else, I would spend some time figuring out what you want from a relationship (long term, kids, traditional gender roles, etc)and what you can give the other person. Do things like volunteering, take a class, join a hiking club ,etc to make yourself a more well rounded person. Figure out who you are, then go look for your match.

si91si91 · 2021-06-27T03:06:36+00:00

So I used to be a sugar baby and stripper through college and had fwb my own age so I never did traditional dating. I decided I want true love now and to settle down. I’m 26F and I can’t help but feel bored with dating normal guys.

Based on this, I would wager that it's because your ability to pair bond to one man has been eroded through years of short term, meaningless "relationships," and the accumulated emotional toll of multiple "breakups." (Your brain and body don't care that your interactions with various men were "casual" or "strictly business, you've been emotionally affected nonetheless.)

So I predict that you'll have difficulty dating because of this. Most men will not accept women with this sort of past, (assuming that you do not lie about it) and you'll find it challenging to bond with those who are willing to give you a chance despite it.

Title	Alpha widowed/reformed gold digger problems
Author	halfsisterthrwaway
Upvotes	0
Comments	17
Date	June 27, 2021 2:04 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/o8nyko/alpha_widowedreformed_gold_digger_problems/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/alpha-widowedreformed-gold-digger-problems.787258 https://theredarchive.com/post/787258

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