So I came across this song again and I previously saw this and this and I got to thinking: does this still apply? I think it does, kinda. I want opinions though.

The other thing: I saw some posts about men not finding wives and people in general not wanting to get married more than ever (and divorces: mainly due to finances). I keep thinking that it's because people aim way higher than they can handle.

At least, in the American culture that many people use as “default” online, the thing you look for is “love”. (Lol. Just lol. Watch it evaporate when your partner sees better opportunities. You know I'm right.)

Translation: “I'm horny but I don't wanna admit that I'm horny so I'll call this thing love. I'll use the traditional ‘wooing’ process mixed in with some modern stuff, depending on what they seem to have liked in their previous partners. Sex? Attention? I can do that. Expensive gifts that I can't afford? They're materialistic anyway.”

What was I taking about again? Oh yeah, relationships and the American/“Love is all you need” model (cz money grows on trees — it IS paper).

Anyways, it's like people meet a person, decide they wanna smash that person and then start dating. No thoughts given to practicality or finances or what you bring to the table.

You wanna marry outside your social class? You better be able to afford it. And even then you may not be able to. And that's the whole point. Why would a 10 settle for you? Why wouldn't they just look at how broke you are and find someone else.

In olden times, if you've watched that video, we can establish that women who had to marry would marry people who could support them at the current lifestyle.

I recall this man mentioning that he went to another country where he married someone cz there he was a 9. Not a 10, cz the few non-broke women that were there wouldn't marry him, I assume. Cz “you wanna marry that foreigner? Okay but only if s/he can understand and integrate with our culture”.

I think there was definitely a formula to happy marriages back then (and still now): live and let live (and no obvious deformities) just pick someone in your own income bracket or a bit above. Or just the same lifestyle.

Why not substantially higher? Cz then you're not bringing much to the table financially. If you're paying rent equally in an expensive house that you can't afford but they can they're an AH cz they should just cover the costs of they live you. If they cover everything you're taking advantage of them. And that's probably how couples split over finances.

Solution: dating sites where income is a criteria. Unless of course you're dating an unemployed person who's volunteering to contribute more to housework or something.

Point was, everyone had unrealistic expectations in general, but more so compared to back in the day, where both men and women were gold diggers, but the standards were lower. Much lower.

Also, the pill was definitely purple. (As in, in Pride and Prejudice. Mrs. Bennett and Lizzie married up, but socially, Mr. Bingley married up. He was in trade, Jane was broke. Is symbiotic. And there was that broke dude trying to hit on Darcy's sister for her money. Equality all around.)

In that context, it's interesting to watch people talk about love or virtue or whatever. While I don't agree that you're meant to be poor (as in the classes are ordained by God.)

In the Crazy Rich Asians (book, not movie) Kevin Kwan was talking about economic and social development over generations. So a person starting out now might not be able to get to the same level of a person whose family has been at it for generations. And that's not just about the lifestyle, it's also about social connections etc.

In my parents', for example, dad wanted someone with a stable job. Mom wanted someone taller than her. And the only reason not to get divorced was that he refused to hit her, even when other people told him he could.

I know a couple where the man makes more, takes care of the kids when necessary and the wife is disabled. What's the dude getting in that situation you may ask? A wife who's a police officer. (And completely free healthcare.)

So yeah. I hope that makes sense. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

TL;DR: Lower your expectations (and just throw them out the window, with the exclusion or one or two deal breakers).

Also, Bo Burnham funny.