Seeking advice

BlendedChaos2012 · 2021-08-03T16:06:08+00:00

Your first mistake was leaving the marital home. Unless she file a temporary restraining order (which is very common) you have every right to be there.

How long have you been married?

She’s already moving fast so you need to get an attorney ASAP. The longer you wait, the worse it’ll get.

jgoodstein · 2021-08-03T16:10:01+00:00

Hire an attorney, File an emergency junction to get you reinstated to the house, and establish time-sharing. No prenup? then everything of profit is split 50/50 so you will get 50% of the proceeds of the house. unless there's more to the story. But generally, that's how the rules are written. You get half of the assets and half of the debts too.

This is all business. try not to be too emotional. lawyer up, start negotiations, move on.

Chip512 · 2021-08-03T19:28:10+00:00

Hire a good attorney, listen, and do what they say. I suspect they’ll advise you to make long term living arrangements (apartment) and not force your way back into the house (avoid a domestic disturbance 911 call).

Face it - the system will work in her favor not yours.

MartyMcFly7 · 2021-08-03T17:00:46+00:00

Since you're in a community property state, you are entitled to 50% of the appreciation since the date you were married (50K). If your home improvements increased the value of the property, that will be reflected in the appraisal.

If you were truly forced out of the home, you could request reimbursement for lodging as part of the settlement (but it might cost more to fight for than it's worth). You may be able to just move back in, but you might want to ask your attorney first.

She cannot limit access to your son without some kind of court order. If she is, you can file for an emergency order to force some sort of schedule.

imapotato99 · 2021-08-03T20:05:28+00:00

Get a DNA test on that child

JWStrokeme · 2021-08-03T16:07:50+00:00

If you live in a 50/50 state you could have a right to some of that equity and the cost of upgrades consult a lawyer for all other items and be prepared to pay for it and don’t go it alone stay strong.

jalopkoala · 2021-08-03T17:44:48+00:00

In addition to what people said, no more verbal communication. Only texting and email. Don’t lose your cool and put something in writing you don’t want showing up later. But the flip side is: wife saying “Fuck you, you’ll never see this kid again unless I say so.” doesn’t matter… but her sending that in an email can matter a lot to a judge.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-08-03T23:12:38+00:00

Urgent motion to re-instate access to your child through family court.
Record EVERYTHING. Potential for false allegations during separation is exponential.
Focus on your mental health and career.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2021-08-04T03:13:45+00:00

Educate me - what right does she have to kick you out of your own house?

danllo3 · 2021-08-04T04:50:38+00:00

This is a toughy. You have to provide the state that you live in for clearer guidance.

As you already stated, a lawyer will be required.

I wouldn't go back to the house to live, or for anything other than your belongings, because she'll undoubtedly try to get a domestic violation charge put on you. You should also work on getting documentation to show that you didn't abandon the house and family.

Try to get her to admit in an email that she kicked you out of the house. Maybe the lawyer can use that to your advantage.

She also set you up to not have access to your child in more than one way. You living in that hotel will color you as an "unfit parent" because of your substandard living conditions.

Your only hope is to find a better job that you can rebuild your life, get access to your child, pay your lawyer, and be able to pay child support. She WILL try to get as much money out of you as possible. Be prepared.

Try to fight for half the house and any other financials you can get out of her. Use the money to pay back the lawyers and the impending child support. Put money aside now because they're going to force you to pay during and after the divorce proceedings.

If you can, try to live with a family member, close friend, or parent until you can get this straightened out.

pegleg_legal · 2021-08-04T05:05:23+00:00

Get a court order to put the house on the market ASAP. Then you can negotiate.

Title	Seeking advice
Author	RWMH
Upvotes	12
Comments	22
Date	August 3, 2021 3:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ox6cg3/seeking_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/seeking-advice.816335 https://theredarchive.com/post/816335

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