I (28M) feel my life and happiness being sucked out of me when my spouse (28F) is around (no kids or assets together). There’s been no infidelity.. i’ve outgrown the marriage and the incompatibilities we have.. I’m afraid if I divorce, that I’ll never be able to find a quality woman though..

imapotato99 · 2021-06-30T06:05:54+00:00

You are right, you won't find a quality woman, they are rare as Einsteinium and with very powerful,rich men Buy an auto blow machine, invest, buy a motorcycle then have short term affairs and let them know you are playing the field by telling her stories of nice times with the other women and don't spend too much money on them Been my life for 5 years and it is heaven

BlazedGigaB · 2021-06-30T04:00:20+00:00

Get out while it's cheap! You're 28, live your best life. Grow into the person you want to be(unless you want to be an asshole, don't be an asshole), for yourself, and a partner will come. I got back into dating at 39, last year as lockdowns were lifted. I met a wonderful, intelligent, caring and far fewer incompatibilities woman on Tinder. She was the 5th woman I interviewed for the position(that sounds crass and really hoity, but fuck I want to know your issues and share mine before I consider the investment of a relationship). We talked, chatted and shared memes for 3 weeks before our first date.

MisterEdGein8 · 2021-06-30T05:51:32+00:00

Fuck it, you don't need a woman. Learn to be content being alone. Don't ever get emotionally vested in anyone. I pulled the plug just before the 10 year point of my marriage, lost $200k. No regerts. I'll never get married again and my current girlfriend agrees, as we're both divorced.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-06-30T11:57:55+00:00

> I’m afraid if I divorce, that I’ll never be able to find a quality woman though

You have a scarcity mindset which kills attraction. If you act like you don’t have other options, then she won’t try hard to keep you around. Never treat her like she’s the only girl in the world.
And the fact that you're here means your woman isn't quality.

The point of marriage isn’t to endure it. There is no prize for making a miserable marriage last a long time. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership cemented by attraction, affection, respect and love that you enter into to make it easier for both of you get through life together. It’s like you become a team of horses, and you both help pull the wagon, and it’s easier with two than with one. But being yoked in a team with a partner that isn’t pulling is worse than having no partner at all. Sometimes you have to give up on her. Not because you don’t care, but because she doesn’t.

sicrm · 2021-06-30T05:49:56+00:00

I’m so close to filing for divorce, the only thing stopping me is that I feel as if I’ll never find a quality woman out there at my age, who doesn’t have kids.

a guy that can take care of himself will always have another chance.

don’t stay out of scarcity. that path never leads to anything good.

Suggest_a_User_Name · 2021-06-30T16:54:23+00:00

It sounds like you might be married to a narcissist. You often hear how a narcissistic partner will drain the life out of someone AND subtly degrade them to the point that they feel they are unworthy of love and respect. All points made in your post.

helian20 · 2021-07-01T00:48:49+00:00

Im (26M) and just left my wife a couple weeks ago and am filing for divorce. We have been married for 4 years and it has been sexless since the very beginning. She is also controlling and manipulative. We also don't have kids or to many assets, just cash. I have never felt better!

Edit: I had brought up all these problems two years ago and she still hasn't changed and blames me for it. I have felt the same way as you for most of my marriage.

MGTOWayoflife · 2021-06-30T05:37:45+00:00

Nope never been in your position. If I was I would have got a divorce yesterday.

BitcoinBoffin · 2021-06-30T11:30:47+00:00

Work horse vs wild horse. I know which one I'd rather be.

disjt · 2021-06-30T16:27:22+00:00

You are only 28 years old man! Don't make your decision out of fear that you'll never find the right woman. If you're current wife isn't the right person, that's all you need to know! Get out now while you have no kids.

austino7 · 2021-06-30T16:32:09+00:00

You’re 28 you have PLENTY of time to rebuild and find love. Men don’t really hit they’re peak until their 30’s or 40’s anyway. Ask yourself if you really want to feel the way you do for another 5 years or 10 or 20 or for the rest of your life. You don’t have kids and you still have your best years ahead of you.

MartyMcFly7 · 2021-06-30T17:30:03+00:00

As you can tell from these posts, modern males are figuring out that marriage does not provide a good return on investment; that's why the majority of the US is now single! Women change. Men change. Needs change. No one can predict the future, and marriage can lock you into a myriad of shitty situations. Having the power to walk away is what keeps people (both men and women) in line and putting forth a greater effort.

The fact is, the majority of people who marry will either end up divorced or unhappy. The odds are never in your favor.

As for finding someone else, if she found you attractive, someone else will too. Remember -- you're the prize.

Made2Spillmyguts · 2021-06-30T18:30:27+00:00

I’d say marriage takes work sometimes. I know of couples who barely really didn’t even like each other some years but they believed that divorce just want an option. They made a commitment to each other and that was that. They have been married almost 30 years and happily I will add. It’s not always fun and games unfortunately. You will feel happy again later on. It’s hard but worth it. You will be glad that you did. A lot of people feel the same as you around the 4 year mark. Just remember you married her for a reason. I think you should talk to her about how you feel. Maybe not bluntly but be honest. She can’t try to do anything about it if you don’t tell her.

playerknowmore · 2021-06-30T18:00:16+00:00

The difference between twenty five and thirty five is like mountains between us. You got married before you were ready; nothing is stopping you from getting out.

As someone who was in the military I have witnessed this phenomenon more than any person should want to. Marrying a girl so they can live to live off base; when neither of them are ready.

The kindest thing that you can do is let her go so she can grieve your marriage, and marry a person who is ready to love her. I wish when you are ready you find your forever love too.

Descarted1 · 2021-06-30T18:50:49+00:00

What changed to the point that she elicits these emotions from you?

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