Society tells me I'm not allowed to be alone and be okay with it, but maybe I am okay with it. Anyone else run into this kind of feeling? Did it pass or did it become the norm to not want a relationship?

Long Post/Extended details below:

I met my ex wife when I was 21. We were married from 28-39, but together since I was 21. I had suspected she had cheated on me for years and had found some evidence confirming it in August. Our relationship had some issues for a long while and she refused to go to counseling until I was leaving her for cheating on me. It was too late. I had felt lonely while being married the last couple years. I put all my effort into the relationship and our family because I could see it slipping away. I didn't spend much free time with friends.

I've done a lot of soul searching since then. I realize that I had a part to play in why she cheated. There's some lingering resentment, but not a huge amount. I can see this going away entirely in time. She did me a favour. I was staying with her because I was worried what it would do to our kids. Our kids are doing really well with it and it's apparently a lot more normal to have separated parents than I had realized.

I have been talking to a lot of my friends and family who suddenly want to open up to me about their pain and struggle in relationships. It seems like a lot of people are close or have been incredibly close to the breaking point in their marriage too. I also see a lot of older people who seem to be waiting for the other person to die first. They are both miserable, but refuse to leave. I can't think of many people with a decade or more relationship I actually envy. In time, the spark fades and maybe we stick it out because it's easier than being alone or starting again.

The dating world has changed drastically since I was 21. These apps seem to focus on superficial stuff and I want something deeper if at all. I'm also enjoying not having to compromise all the time on what to do, eat, buy, get rid of.

So, part of me is thinking why bother? I get lonely sometimes as I don't have a lot of single friends in town, so that can make it harder. My kids are with me every other week and I am focusing on being a dad when they are with me and tend to spend some time with friends when they are not. So, it's not like there's a lot of free time to just be alone. That's my long story, I hope to hear yours. I can't be the only person feeling okay to be on my own. That aside, it was always easier to fall back asleep with a warm body next to me...