Options for post-wall dating (female asking)

creating_my_life · 2017-02-24T06:27:05+00:00

The main TRP sub (and asktrp) is largely populated by 20-somethings wondering how to navigate dating life. They come here seeking understanding why dating is going so horribly for them. They learn that they are not part of the "20% attractive" of the "80/20" rule, and then lots of other interesting tidbits that hopefully helps them become strong, independent, masculine men.

MarriedRP is largely married men wondering why they're now in sexless marriages, realizing that even if they were once attractive, they've let themselves slip and are now wrestling to get that back--without their most valuable negotiating tool--the ability to "NEXT".

So how does this relate to 40-something women? First, if, as a woman, you're STILL only interested in the top-20% of men, then those same men now embrace that they can choose among a WIDE range of top-quality women. Yep, sucks to be you. Not our fault.

But it gets even worse. In order for you to be in competition for a good man, you need to be in excellent physical condition, pretty, have your shit together, and then you're up for consideration. If you consider yourself this high-quality woman, NOW you think you deserve a top 5% man, or a top 2% man. THOSE genetically and socially gifted men TRULY have the pick of any woman they want.

I'm not saying you have to immediately drop and date only the 40-something male equivalent of a "2". But, rather, if you would only ever consider dating a man that is +1 or +2 points higher than you, rather than your equal in attractiveness or even -1....you're going to have a tough time.

Provided you're at least somewhat attractive, you will have many, many offers for sex from men 18+. Your ego will love it. If you choose to "date" some of these men, you will be even less interesting to the 40-something man you might want to settle down with.

TL;DR: High quality men have options of all ages of women; non-high-quality men are invisible to you.

Olongapo · 2017-02-24T08:16:41+00:00

I am way past 40 but I'm not going to blast you. The previous 3 posts made some salient points and yes, this sub is mostly populated by some very angry, 20 something guys. Here are my thoughts;

Hit the gym. Most older women that I would even consider, all pay attention to their health, their weight, and most importantly, their attitude. There is a whole cadre of RP men between 40 and 60 who are either naturals or have come to RP late. I have nothing in common with a young guy practicing game in a dorm somewhere. My RP conversion was a marriage going bad because I did what I thought I was supposed to do.
Read everything in the sidebars and.....go to Red Pill Women and introduce yourself. Immersion for a bit helps and like we say here, "Never talk about Red Pill".
Understand the First Mate/Captain process. My guess is you're gonna have to go through the 5 stages of grief and loss just like we do. /r/RedPillWomen is your go-to place for that.
If...you're fit, relatively baggage free, financially sound, and willing to vet potential suitors or partners (Red Pill Women) then you may find yourself with a quality man who may consider you as a potential partner.

Here's what I know about midlife dating......it mostly sucks because most people, men and women, have absolutely no inclination to pursue self-improvement and take some responsibility for themselves however...there are tons of men out there who are in fact, changing and chasing there own missions that they are interested in more than a booty call and not every guy in your age range is dating 24 year olds. Some actually prefer a woman their own age because they have a lot more in common.

If you're recently divorced then I would recommend against getting into a serious thing with anybody until you work through your own shit. Common sense. Easy to say. Really hard to do.

Make an effort to understand your own evolutionary biology. If you've been lurking here than learn about Briffault's Law and hypergamy. Again, go to https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen and introduce yourself. Men and women are indeed, different. Peace comes from knowing that.

Good luck and thanks for having the courage to even post here.

88Will88 · 2017-02-24T12:59:01+00:00

You came to the right place is you want the truth. Problem is this sub is designed for male sexual strategy. Still you are asking our opinion, so here it is. First get in the best shape you can, make sure you are not overweight, get a great haircut and dye, dress nicely, act feminine. Once you have all of that, go online. There are hordes of men desperate for female companionship.

High value men generally date younger women. So if you want a high value man, you are probably looking at a guy over 50 or even 55. If you are pretty and in shape you can get a guy around 55 who has some money. Successful masculine men like feminine women, your job and income is irrelevant to us. We like someone respectful, good at traditional women's duties, someone who has not fucked dozens of men, someone who has our back and wants to help us with our mission.

I have some good friends who we would call beta in here, who would make wonderful companions. However, because they are beta they are either sub par in appearance, confidence, finance, personality etc. They may not be the best catch in the world but they are great guys and will treat you well. You have many options, just maximise your appearance, be a decent human being.

2gunsgetsome · 2017-02-24T17:51:02+00:00

Nature says you're no longer a reliable source of offspring (and that's OK). Lots of men (and women) are living an activity-rich, adventurous life and aren't interested in kids slowing them down. Many of those same men enjoy the companionship of an enthusiastic First Officer, partner-in-crime, adventure-buddy-who-likes-to-fuck. And by "adventure", I don't only mean "ziplines and mountain climbing"; this can be urban socializing, open-mic duets, car shows, whatever. My point is, you should market yourself as something different than a potential homemaker.

Remember that active, high quality men who aren't looking to breed abhor that which slows us down. I'm talking about baggage. Don't be baggage.

This is the time when it's actually good to be an "Independent woman who don't need no man." But remember that a chip on your shoulder about it is the opposite of attractive. Yeah, you don't need a man, but you sure as fuck want one.

You must establish a baseline of having your shit together in life.

Obviously get/be in shape. No one likes a fatty.
Live a healthy lifestyle. You'll need energy to fuel your enthusiasm.
Have your basic needs handled: housing, transport, food, etc. That means you'll need money, which means you'll need a job / career.

If all that sounds like the same advice that RP men get, you're right. But men and women are different, and in order to attract the masculine, you need to be feminine.

The way you dress. Wear girly shit.
The way you groom. Don't go crazy, but put effort into your makeup and hair.
The way you act. Be friendly and not bitchy. Be confident, but don't try to out-man the men.

Always maximize the variables you control.

You asked:

what traits are needed for interest to spark?

Well, you need to be interesting. Have hobbies, do things. What activities do the men you like do? Get good enough at those things so you don't slow them down when they bring you along.

How do you keep yourself in the position of FO?

Don't be baggage. When you get an invite, your answer is "fuck yes" or "no". Don't make him talk you into shit.
Bring value to the relationship. Find ways you can contribute to the success of a mission on which he invites you.
Keep his balls empty.
Don't hold back your own sexuality with him.

You won't be physically hotter than the girls in their 20's. But you can compete with overall attractiveness because lots of those young basic bitches just aren't fun to be around when they aren't fucking.

Questionablechoice · 2017-02-24T08:58:22+00:00

I would suggest you look at /redpillwomen for guidance.

However for the sake of argument I'll provide a couple of opinions and classifiers.

I am in my late 30's. I am in the top 25% earning bracket (no debt). I am around the top 25% physically being at the top end of my healthy BMI (180 Lb) sand roughly 20% BF & 5' 11". I am balding (although I keep it short enough to almost shaved/almost shaved generally). I would probably put myself in the 6/7 appearance range. No strong strengths no glaring weaknesses aside from a small amount of belly fat and a receded hairline I keep in check.

I am in an LTR with a woman who is turning 30 this year. She is 5'4" 103 Lbs A-Cup. Who has no debt, owns property & transportation, has a degree with a minor in (finance & economics). She is also a top 25% earner. Physically she is around a 7. Despite her age I have a strong suspicion I have been her only sexual partner. Granted there are medical procedure which could have been done but it seems unlikely.

This is what you are competing against.

It gets much harder if you already have children as well. As a rule I would say most men in their late 30's or early 40's are going to damaged goods in some ways. Men who are single in this age range likely have been through a divorce or are complete Incels (celibacy not by choice) and can have communication issues with women. This is just the hard reality of the demographics.

Coupled with the rather oppressive family court system in most of the west your likely looking at someone who is playing alimony or child support if they are divorced and may have part time children as well.

I'm not going to sugar coat it. Your going to be face competition not from other women in their 40's your going to be facing women in their late twenties and early thirties as well.

To compete you are really going to have to have your ducks in a row if you want someone better than the bottom 50%. Also keep in mind that a fair amount of the top 50% by the time they are 40 in traditional society are unattainable if they are attempting to remain faithful to another relationship.

PeopleHateThisGuy · 2017-02-24T20:29:01+00:00

Some hard pills to swallow:

Date men older than yourself. More than 5 years older. This, IMO, is going to be your best shot of you're looking for long term stability.

Men who are your age or younger will generally fall into two categories. They will either use you for an easy lay (more likely the younger they are, speaking from experience), or they will be too beta and/or unattractive to think they can do better.

I don't want this to be callous, but at 40, you're not a 25 year old prize anymore. If you're interested in a LTR, it'll be better to objectively assess your reality. If you just want to get laid, you'll do fine if you've kept yourself fit and presentable.

oldredder · 2017-02-25T09:26:19+00:00

if a woman's 10/10 hot and did well with her life financially so she won't be a parasite I would consider her, and I'm 40. Otherwise I'm looking at the 25-30 year olds

RPShitlord · 2017-02-24T10:13:39+00:00

Your choices are LTR with a low value man, or a plate to a higher value man who won't commit.

Face reality. Its not TRP that tells us to like younger women. It's nature.

verify_account · 2017-02-24T14:59:11+00:00

You can get a 50, 55 year old guy that's pretty successful. Any 40 something guy that's not a total beta bucks is going to be dating 20/30 somethings.

Maybe try living for yourself instead? You're sterile at this point so you don't have to worry about kids.

max_peenor · 2017-02-24T06:48:21+00:00

if this is the wrong place to post let me know!

This is where you come to ask question. You asked a question.

I'm older than you. There are plenty of post wall women are worth time, but there is zero chance you'll experience the same sort of energy in a relationship you knew from your 20s and 30s. The truth is nor would I. Unless you want kids NOW, only a complete idiot would consider marriage. (Kids? The wording makes me think you don't have any.).

Find a guy that is divorced and a couple years older. Make it very clear you are looking for someone to be with, not a sap to corner. Be feminin (Firefox insists on autocorrecting it to this, so fuck it, I'm leaving it). Get him into some kinky sex. You can grow old together.

If you just want dick and a warm body in your bed, you could probably ride the carousel for another 20+ years pulling in hungry 20 something Bradleys.

ReddJive · 2017-02-24T14:41:18+00:00

heh.

The masculine attracts the feminine. Feminine attracts the masculine.

Be feminine. Be attractive.

I am 42 dating a women couple years older. It works on a very RP level.

I'd call you "red pill aware" since RP is mainly a man's sexual strategy. if a RP man is what you want, then do the things you need to in order to attract him. You have the inside scope here.

It'll happen or it won't.

Sensei_Hensei · 2017-02-24T15:38:40+00:00

TRP tells men that you are what you attract and if you want to attract better you must become better. Polite society does no such thing for women. Society tells women that even though you are 15 years beyond your prime or overweight or just flat out undesirable that your 6'12 24pack abs having bad boy surgeon is still around for you.

I'm stroking with a broad brush but you're probably gonna have to humble yourself in the dating scene. You will have suitors just not the kind that you probably think you deserve.

blackedoutfast · 2017-02-24T16:17:03+00:00

assuming you are looking for LTR, your best bet is to find some semi-recently divorced dude in his 50s. if he has kids, they are done with school and out on their own. some guy who was married for a long time and doesn't know how the dating world works anymore. plus you will probably be 10 years younger than his ex-wife.

don't expect a super sexy alpha male or a billionaire.

you'll be lucky to even become a plate for any decent guys your age and younger.

all the never been married guys older than you are either players for life fucking 20 year olds or just complete losers.

Willow-girl · 2017-02-25T04:25:00+00:00

If you don't have kids and you're at least average looking and weight-wise, you'll do OK unless you have crazy high standards such as "only millionaires need apply."

Just being childfree adds at least 10 points to your SMV ... ask me how I know this, lol.

trpquestionthrowaway · 2017-02-25T08:27:27+00:00

eek am not "reddit proficient" so am sticking this here intended to acknowledge the whole group - i posted this in a sort of desperate, knowing i needed something to change and wanting to get some advice that wasn't entangled in subjectivity coming from a friend or even therapist. then i got scared of reading the responses so i didn't look. I'm so glad and really kind of amazed? interested? at the in depth and "action item filled" responses. I'm a very, very practical person and I really can't stomach advice that is "you go girl!" crap or wish fulfillment from my married friends. it doensn't advance anything and in fact makes me feel defeated because it's not grounded in reality and just ends up making me feel helpless.

i really appreciate this everyone. am going to keep reading (just had the courage for the top few comments so far) and then going to check out /r/RedPillWomen!

TheStumblingWolf · 2017-02-24T10:24:01+00:00

You might have to define "interested in". I would not be interested in pursuing a relationship with someone that old (old compared to me), but I'd have no problem being FWBs if I found her attractive. I'm 32 right now. I do tend to attract, and be attracted to, girls in their early 20s though.

I don't believe you should just deny things in life per default so things like these are evalutated on a case to case basis.

Title	Options for post-wall dating (female asking)
Author	trpquestionthrowaway
Upvotes	9
Comments	37
Date	February 24, 2017 6:17 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5vvyxq/options_for_postwall_dating_female_asking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/options-for-post-wall-dating-female-asking.83155 https://theredarchive.com/post/83155

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