Before you jump to saying I am, read this all the way through.
Friday, my son (13) had a pretty bad day at school. He almost cried trying to tell me about it. Since she wasn’t gonna be there that night, I took him out to dinner and we rented a movie. When we started watching it, he sat in the recliner while I laid down on the couch. About halfway through the movie, he got up and came and laid on me. He used to do this when he was like 7, and I wasn’t gonna push him away. We ended up falling asleep.
My girlfriend came home the next morning, and after we woke up, she asked to speak with me. She told me she was very uncomfortable when she walked in. She told me it just felt really wrong and that he’s way to old to be doing that. I told her that he just had a bad day and he had every right to come to me. She just got mad and told me to never do it again. That’s when I told her she was being a bitch and to just drop it. He’s my son, I’ll do what I want. She ended up leaving and going back to her house. I’m thinking about ending things, but that’s the only time she’s ever done something like that. AITA?
[–]VileCastle 263 points264 points265 points (19 children) | Copy Link
I really try my hardest to take a biiiig step back when reading AITA. A huge chunk of these stories I bet are fake but how people take it and how bad people are to each other on that sub infuriates me to no end.
A good chunk of those posts are people that clearly won't ever be called an asshole. It's like, "AITA if I rescued a pregnant black woman from a burning car, as a straight white man even if I didn't ask her consent first?"
[–]SnowyBug 40 points41 points42 points (3 children) | Copy Link
More like a good chunk of the popular posts are voted NTA. They never upvote the assholes. I can usually tell the judgement of a post from reading the thread title and seeing the ratio of upvotes to comments. AITA is also largely biased and tends to tunnel in on one specific part of a situation while ignoring actual pertinent information.
[–]Walshy231231 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s also always YTA or NTA, never NAH
They nearly always decide someone is the devil, no matter the situation
[–]SnowyBug 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
And rarely ESH either
[–]lethatsinkin 80 points81 points82 points (8 children) | Copy Link
You can never be too careful in this new world full of more SJW’s than ever before
[–]pete7201 12 points13 points14 points (7 children) | Copy Link
Nah, if I make one mad, I make one mad, they’re irrelevant, nobody really cares what they think
[–]astrodonnie 13 points14 points15 points (6 children) | Copy Link
No one except Hollywood, academia, silicon valley, and a growing number of politicians who have all disclosed desires to shut dissenters up through hate speech laws. But other than that you're safe!
[–]pete7201 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
Fuck em. Actually the professors at my college are mostly conservative. First year the engineering teacher was saying there’s nobody more Christian and conservative than he is, I told him I might just be more conservative.
Wouldn’t hate speech laws violate the first amendment? It’s not illegal for me to say the hard r for example even though it would be morally wrong for me to do so. And as far as the second amendment is concerned, they’re going to have to pry the guns out of my dead hands.
[–]astrodonnie 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
Your college is the exception then, not the rule. Statistics show that most colleges have an insanely liberal bias among their teaching staff. Of course hate speech laws violate the 1st amendment. The 90's assault weapons ban also violated the 2nd amendment, but that didn't stop them.
[–]pete7201 -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
I know, and thank god my college isn’t a liberal shithole- actually it depends on which professors you have, some are liberal but the engineering professors aren’t. Engineers have more common sense I guess.
Hopefully the Supreme Court will be 6-3 conservative and protect our right to own guns.
[–]HannibalsProtege 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
This will sound like a bullshit tall tale, but the college I went to was a liberal college. I graduated from U.C. Davis (it's in Northern California) in '07 under Computer Engineering and you are 200% correct; all of the instructors I had in my engineering courses were either Conservative but flexible with certain viewpoints, or straight up and down the middle with common sense.
And as a SoCal resident and 2A supporter I have to agree; the more I've learned, I mean REALLY, REALLY, learned looking at both sides of gun control debates I've come to the conclusion that common sense gun laws are what's really needed, and not fear mongering.
[–]Alistair_TheAlvarian 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, prohibition didn't end alcoholism, and severe gun restrictions won't fix gun crime. You need reasonable regulation. Background checks, no guns for terror no fly listers, no guns for people with violent offenses, and a godamn licensing process. We won't give people cars unless they are over 16 and licensed, but you can give an untrained 11 year old a semi automatic assault rifle no problem. And maybe do a simple spych evaluation, so we don't give guns to psychopaths and the mentally I'll.
And obviously make it so that the government can't rule being in a group they don't like as being mentally ill.
[–]pete7201 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Engineers have more common sense I guess. And as far as gun laws are concerned, you’re exactly right. Fear mongering people’s rights away doesn’t solve the problem and actually makes it worse when law abiding gun owners can’t protect themselves. Criminals get illegal guns no matter what, they’re called criminals for a reason. Gun laws only prevent a very small amount of crime and make criminals lives easier when they know their targets are unarmed and unable to defend themselves.
[–]AnUpperFlush 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
You beat me to it. Was gonna say the exact same thing. Most are karma farming posts.
[–]pete7201 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
“She didn’t give me consent because I speak a different language, so I let her burn. AITA?”
[–]WillMeatLover 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
True, but I've also experienced enough bullshit in life for this one to be perfectly plausible.
[–]Nerfixion 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah man, if you were posting about that you have to title it so you sound like the asshole. For example, "AITA for not requesting consent before touching a pregnant black woman?"
Then in the body if it say how she was dying and in a burning car.
[–]Cerberus11x 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Funny thing is that your example would probably be voted, yta, you should have rescued her and then jumped in the car as punishment for coming within 17 miles of her without consent.
[–]ApprehensiveMail8 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed. And adding on to this; anytime you are only getting one side of the story, skepticism is warranted regarding what is being left out. I rarely see that.
[–]ElPercebe69 113 points114 points115 points (9 children) | Copy Link
Women are the most perpetrators of that so called toxic masculinity and they punish every little misstep outside that
[–]NohoTwoPointOh 38 points39 points40 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Wouldn't that be toxic femininity?
[–]whatafoolishsquid 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol yeah if feminist gender theory were remotely consistent and unbiased.
[–]cistacea 26 points27 points28 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Both men and women can perpetuate toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. Like if a mom tells her little boy that boys Don't cry, she is perpetuating toxic masculinity
[–]sno_cone_thehomeloan 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
facts, and if a man calls out a woman for wearing the same dress twice, it’s toxic femininity, even though shit like that is incredibly rare with straight dudes
[–]Flaktrack 60 points61 points62 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Feminists: "why do men seem to be allergic to physical affection?"
Also feminists: "seeing you be affectionate with your son makes me uncomfortable"
[+]arctxdan -15 points-14 points-13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Nowhere in the OP did it say the girlfriend was a feminist. Not even an implication.
[–]Walshy231231 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
He didn’t say the gf was a feminist either, he was making a generalization about feminists with OP’s gf as an example of the mindset
[–]arctxdan -4 points-3 points-2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
He was quoting OP's gf with the title of feminist.
[–]nosleepincrooklyn 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
For the most part kids are raised by women. Whether it be the mother, teachers or babysitters. The fathers are either absent or work way to much. So is more femininity what we need? It seems they lack an understanding of what it means to be masculine.
[–]0mnica 50 points51 points52 points (1 child) | Copy Link
So many people I just want to reply, "Bitch, STFU"
[–]sno_cone_thehomeloan 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
perfect example of what bill burr talks about here
[–]Battleship1239 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of the top comments are NTA, this is good.
[–]blaizken_420 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
AITA is extremely biased against men most of the time, it's literally proven thought tests and such.
[–]LithiumAndFire 55 points56 points57 points (5 children) | Copy Link
Most of the idiots over there are jumping down his throat for calling her a bitch, so.
[–]Biolog4viking 38 points39 points40 points (1 child) | Copy Link
At least the top comments supports him.
[–]Cerberus11x 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
First reply tries to defend her though.
[–]wesg913 35 points36 points37 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Well, she was being a bitch. The people upset for him saying so are probably in the "all men are dogs" camp so fuck them too.
[–]KnightofNarg 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the most important distinction. He said she was "being a bitch", calling out her behavior. Not that she "was a bitch". She completely rejected his loving side, she rejected him and demanded he change into a worse person, and he behaved accordingly. It's also important to consider we don't have the benefits of knowing every nuance including tone and body language, which could change our perception of the entire conversation. And I'd rather give him the benefit of the doubt than her and her jealousy
[–]Roary93 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly this
[–]Lion_amongst_gods 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not sure what the cultural norms of that person are, so I don't want to go deep. But a 13-year old is not exactly a "grown man" to be physically and mentally strong to handle everything by himself. Platonic physical contact between men is being severely vilified. Heck, the kid is his son! Let him comfort his son with a hug.
[–]Qualanqui 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't care if my son was 53 and wanted a hug, my brother and I were raised with the stiff upper lip, men don't have emotions bullshit and it's really messed us up so we've made it our mission to not pass this crap down to our kids.
[–]madjedininja 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah AATA is really frustrating because I feel like there is either a bunch of context that we are missing, an exaggeration, they changed some of the story to make them look like the good guy (if the story is even true) or they already know and are just using it for karma.
[–]Pillery 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
"Why don't men express emotions or reach out for support"
*Man expresses emotion and reaches out for support*
"NEVER DARE DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN OMG"
[–]Cerberus11x 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Pretty much sums it up
[–]TheMexicanJuan 21 points22 points23 points (2 children) | Copy Link
This is why men have emotional issues. Most of them aren’t shown enough affection as children and are expected to be men by age 7. What the fuck is this? Sparta?
[–]MBV-09-C 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
We're just missing the part where we throw boys down a ravine and force the ones that don't die on the way back up to join the military. But even then we have the former half done mentally to them and the latter half will automatically be true if our talking heads decide to go to war for some inevitably stupid reason again.
[–]Yue2 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
THIS IS SPARTA!!!
[–]teachdove5000 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
This father did nothing wrong. Men are seen as pedos for hugging and loving their kids? Kid had a bad day and needed his dad.
I am a teacher for kids with emotional disabilities. Mostly male students age 12-14. I had a boy crying his eyes out in the hallway because his dad was in jail. He just hugged me. I hugged him back. It was bad day.
Sometime people just need love.
[–]WinnieHutSenior 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Man I still cuddle up with my father I mean he throws me off him but the love is still there
[+]SweatyAdvance1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
The comments there are RIDDLED with toxic masculinity bullshit. SHE is the cunt, but it somehow is still the fault of toxic masculinity. These fucking people.
[–]whatafoolishsquid 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Men forcing male gender role on men? Toxic masculinity? Women forcing male gender role on men? Toxic masculinity? Women forcing female gender role on women? Toxic masculinity. Men forcing female gender role on women? Toxic masculinity. Any bad? Toxic masculinity.
[–]HenryCGk 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean it run of the mill there there's a lot of these with ether parent and an opposite gendered new partner disproving of parenting.
[–]waituntilthis 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Fellas, is it bad to hug my kid?
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
I wish feminist could try being male for one day. Just one day. Maybe then they would see our struggles.
[–]HannibalsProtege -5 points-4 points-3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Nah, nah, a whole year as a person of color. Let's really sink that shit in!
[–]MBV-09-C 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Why divide it racially like that? The disparity in gender is actually greater than the racial one to the point where a black woman would still have an easier time than a white man, just because she still reaps the legal and social advantages of being a woman. Not to mention race isn't even relevant to the OP's problem.
[–]HannibalsProtege 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes you have to really drill home the point in order for some people to wake up. To clarify (since I seem to have struck a nerve with some folks) I'm not saying they would have to necessarily be African American but could be Native American, Asian, Latino, or of Middle Eastern descent. It would be imperative for the narrative of other lives under the same header, to be told so one could experience the full stigma of what those ethnicities have to experience; Also my comment was geared towards the original in which I commented under for reference.
[–]BigNegroPeePee 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Tbh most stories going through there are usually fake. So I'm not too sure about this, but I'll give 'em the benefit of the doubt.
[–]Roary93 4 points5 points6 points
(0 children) | Copy Link
The amount of people telling him he's an arsehole for calling her a bitch is disturbing. She basically accused him of incest and being a pedophile. She deserved to be called out for it, and calling her a bitch is doing that lightly. Then there's the people bringing up it's healthy masculinity and not toxic and everyone inbetween trying define masculinity.
Overall, he should run for the hills if she thinks he's capable of that. What happens when they have kids? She won't leave them with him, it'll cause a strain, she'll file for divorce and he loses the kids and most likely his house and everything else. It's disgusting that these days a dad can't do anything even remotely affectionate with their kid. The fact she also thinks she, the girlfriend, can demand and dictate to him what to do with his kid is appalling.
[–]ReluctantGoalkeeper 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
r/amitheangel
[–]GTRPrime 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
NTA, comfort your son..
[–]Dr_Creepster 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
90% of the posts there are fake or are looking for Karma. the people know if their the Asshole or not but want attention
[–]Koguin 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s AITA what do you expect? The whole subreddit is a fucking circlejerk
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Most of the people there don’t understand that saying “you’re being a bitch” and “you are a bitch” are two completely different things
[–]Regular_joe02 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
He’s not questioning himself, this isn’t a sign of the sad state of our society:
He’s just karma farming.
[–]Silentpoolman 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
He is the asshole for posting it and asking if he's the asshole
[–]ApprehensiveMail8 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
True of every AITA post
[–]fatogato 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
What kind of fucked up world do we live in where a father can’t show affection to his own son.
Fathers out there, fuck what these toxic women think. You do you and support your children. We all know how important it is for a kid to have a supportive parent.
[–]orcscorper 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope that if this chick is real, that she was sexually abused as a child. I'm not wishing it on her; it happened or it didn't, but it would explain her reaction. Maybe she needs therapy, or maybe she just needs to be dumped.
[–]Hivemindtime 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
...
[–]nosleepincrooklyn 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
People need to stop posting their personal business on the internet
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I think that she needs to learn about bonding and closeness and how important that is. Explain to her how important that is and that he needed that at that time. What I get is that she has not been exposed to this bonding and caring between two males. Explain through asking her if she ever needed that from someone close to her, and that he is your child who you can not turn away. If she is a worthy person she will regard you more for it rather than less.
[–]MBV-09-C 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
TIL calling a horrible woman a "bitch" apparently holds the same gravity as accusing a good father of being an incestous pedophile, because one of the top comments is ESH.
[–]DarthMemus 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The comments defending her. "She's wrong, but don't call her a bitch"... Pathetic bunch
[–]zUltimateRedditor -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
It probably looked strange at first so I don’t fault her for thinking and questioning.
But after the explanation and telling him to not do it again she should have understood.
That’s where she messed up.