Hatred on single mothers?

TempestTcup · 2014-04-01T23:52:15+00:00

Why is the mother single?

If she's a widow, then she's fine except for the fact that a new man will have to compete with the child for her attention.

If she is divorced because of abuse, she makes bad life decisions by marrying a bad man.

If she blindsided her husband with a frivolous divorce then she is probably going to do that to the next guy, too.

If she got knocked up without the benefit of being married, she has poor outcome control.

If she has multiple kids from multiple baby daddies, then she has poor impulse control.

All but the first one are a huge red flag.

boydeer · 2014-04-01T22:11:30+00:00

single mothers in this culture are highly revered, but actually they are women who made terrible decisions and brought a child into a fucked-up situation.

most male children of single mothers i know well were subjected to incredible psychological abuse, and several of them are unable to acknowledge that their mother wasn't an angel. those guys hate themselves.

i know there are plenty of seriously good and well-intentioned single mothers out there, but even then, they pretty much categorically rode alpha dick raw and then didn't get an abortion even with no reasonable promise of the existence of a father.

at least single fathers seem to rarely presume to be able to teach their daughters how to be good women.

toysjoe · 2014-04-02T02:37:16+00:00

Man here.

I don't think TRPers hate single mothers. After all, it's her life. She can do whatever she wants with it.

What TRPers hate is that single mothers will go through a husband, pop out a kid, and still believe that she deserves an even better man as her next her husband despite her growing in age with another man's child in tow.

When men refuse to date her she shames them and tells them to man up as if her own lack of desirability is everyone else's fault.

Ignoring the fact that she's older, less attractive, and has someone else's kid, we can look at the circumstances in which she became a single mother.

If she's widowed then that's not so bad (unless she's widowed because her husband is some gangbanger who got shot in a drive-by). But as for the other reasons I believe that usually it's the woman's fault for choosing to be with the abusive, cheater, deadbeats.

Women have the option to choose which men to marry. BP women would rather take a chance with an exciting man and risk that he's abusive/a cheater/a deadbeat than go with the monotonous but comfortable life of a boring beta.

That is why (in my opinion) there is a hatred for single mothers. Everything bad that happens to them is caused by their own actions (usually), but they blame it all on others and believe they're still entitled to the world.

Here is a post from /r/TheRedPill entitled "An open letter to single mothers. I bookmarked it because it sums up quite nicely the reason why we dislike single mothers.

RPanarchist · 2014-04-01T21:44:57+00:00

http://www.fisheaters.com/garbagegeneration.html

Divorcees are quasi single moms depending on circumstance and widows are NOT single mom's in the sense trp is speaking of

p3ndulum · 2014-04-02T05:33:52+00:00

You'd have to be a male who was raised by a single mother to truly understand.

Simply put, it is only an outlier woman who can raise a boy into a man.

Single mothers often poison their sons with all kinds of negativity. Negativity about (their) fathers and about men in general and masculinity. It creates a negative sense of self, and is what ultimately leads to an inability to form and sustain healthy relationships.

These are the boys that grow up to be easily manipulated push-overs.

These are also the women who are putting men through the ringer by dragging them over the hot coals of divorce court.

Men are an extremely important part of raising healthy, well-adjusted boys, and so there is resentment towards the fact that single moms are often celebrated despite the deficiencies their circumstances lend to the growth of their children (boys and men, specifically). Those celebrations, in turn, harvest a culture that inspires more women to "go it alone," leaving more and more men standing on the sidelines with their pockets empty while these single mothers work to vilify them, while also gaining all kinds of praise from the general public.

I think I'm starting to sound redundant, but there it is (from my perspective at least).

TempestTcup · 2014-04-02T18:52:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MrsStrom · 2014-04-02T14:42:35+00:00

Former divorced mother here. There are tons of awesome answers here, looking at Dana and Baker.

If you are a single mother and want to find a good husband, date single dads. Also, realize that you are not as desirable as you were before the child came along. Adjust you game accordingly. Be the best mother and potential wife you can be. You need to bring your A Game to compete with the childless women your age.

Bakerofpie · 2014-04-02T00:04:48+00:00

For a man, dating a single mother is dangerous. Not only is there a chance that there may be false abuse allegations if you make a wrong move, but in some situations a man may become legally financially responsible for a child that isn't his, or should this wind up a long term relationship and a man does treat the child as his own (or at least like a close nephew), he can be made to never see the child again if the mother decides to go that route upon splitting up.

Since TRP is not a humanitarian group and is meant to focus on the dynamics between the sexes when it comes to sex and dating, of course it's going to appear that they all just hate single mothers. TRP talks about women in the context of sex and relationships. If you're a bad choice to date, you're simply written off entirely without apologies.

RPanarchist · 2014-04-02T15:03:57+00:00

http://men-factor.blogspot.com/2014/04/psychiatrists-find-new-disorders.html

~~Lunatics~~ Psychiatrists have been ~~making lots of money~~ doing lots of research into the problems affecting ~~many boys with clueless single mothers who wouldn't know their ass from a hole in the ground~~ young children these days that go by the acronyms ADD and ADHD. However; one marble collector with an actual functioning brain has in fact discovered two new disorders in children - ADM and ARDM.

There are in fact some people who do not know what ADD and ADHD are. Put simply, they stand for:

Attention Deficit Disorder
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

So, what many people might be asking is what are ADM and ARDM?

ADM and ARDM are also acronyms for

A Dumb Mother
A Really Dumb Mother

RPanarchist · 2014-04-01T21:43:43+00:00

man here chiming in!

So you are saying NASMALT? I do not think that will fly in this most excellent sub.

I wouldn't go any where near a single mom. Ever. Why? The biggest reason is because (or so they always claim) their kid's come first (is it really true?)! Where does that put me or any man foolish or desperate enough to get involved with one.

There are many, many, other reasons as well, which should not be too hard to find. Search tom leykis on youtube for more on men's perspective.

As for a woman's perspective... I defer to judgybitch she nails the crux of matter quickly.

sugarcrush · 2014-04-01T22:08:19+00:00

From the lurking around TRP I've done, there's a couple reasons.

The biggest: alpha fucks, beta bucks. A woman gets knocked up by an alpha when she's young and then goes looking for a beta provider when it doesn't work out with her alpha. This pisses men off because they are relegated to being a walking checkbook.

Second, the single moms children always come first. This is obviously how it should be, but who WANTS to come second in a new relationship? You can also use this to understand why single moms are encouraged to date single dads, they can relate to each other better than a single parent and childless person.

Lastly, from my observation guys in general have an aversion to raising another mans child even in non-AFBB situations. Maybe she is single because she is a widow, but why be with her + a child when he could probably find a similar lady that doesn't already have one?

Aerobus · 2014-04-02T00:47:41+00:00

The disdain against single mothers is not because they are single mothers. The disdain and hatred for (a subset of) them develops when we read stories about these single mothers shaming men for not being attracted to them/giving them a fair chance in the dating market. Men are allowed to have preferences, make their own choices, and form judgments about people. Women are allowed to do these things too. The problem is while men allow women to do what they want, when men go off trying to do what they want, these single mothers (who know they have little chance) shame men and bully them into believing they are misogynists.

aaron_the_just · 2014-04-03T02:40:52+00:00

RP_Man:

I don't want your drama. I am not a meal ticket and this part is cold but none the less true...women are a depreciating asset whereas my value as a male only goes up.

skraling · 2014-04-04T03:24:28+00:00

cases where the guy was abusive/cheating/died/left etc.

If you could not figure his personality beforehand, it's on you. It is the kind of behavior/personality that it is impossibly to disguise for a mature person regardless gender.

newguyacct · 2014-04-02T01:35:13+00:00

Another point that isn't clearly mentioned here - the children of the single mother are missing a balanced parent influence (ie: missing the father figure that brings things that the mother does not). A single mother is bad for the child and the child suffers in life from it.

noblepaladin · 2014-04-02T15:02:09+00:00

It boils down to the probability weighted outcomes. That is the cusp of the "not all women (in this case, single mothers) are like that" argument. Cost of a failed relationship with a single mother is devastating. The guy can be stuck paying child support. It's doesn't occur often, but when it does the guy's life is completely destroyed. He will lose half (or more) of all his future wealth, his career options will be severely crippled, and he'll most likely never reproduce in his life (women don't like to date men has to give half his money to someone else, and he'll likely never be in the financial position to have kids of his own) and his genes will be eliminated from the gene pool. If you have a 100-barrel revolver and you put one bullet on it and ask me to play Russian roulette, I wouldn't do it.

And lets assume that the worst case scenario does not happen. The cost of a relationship with a single mother is far higher because the guy is effectively dating 2 people. Single mother's tend to have very poor financials as she has to spend a lot of it on the kid. If the relationship does not work out, you double the emotional devastation if the guy has bonded with the kid. If the relationship does work out, there is a far lower chance that the guy will have many offspring of his own, because there are financial and other limitations to how many children they can raise.

Even though it is easy to screen for bad character, so a guy can avoid the crazy girl who fucked her drug dealer and became a single mom, and limit it to the single mothers that played her cards right but just had misfortune (ex. she was perfect and loyal, but was widowed because her husband died in an accident), why should I attempt a relationship with a single mother when I can have one with a regular girl?

A lot of people think that TRP "hates" single mothers, we don't. It is all about binary decisions with imperfect information. We do not know the future outcome, but we have to make a binary decision (date a single mother or date a regular girl who doesn't have children). How do you make such a decision? I wear a seat belt every time in a car, not because I expect to have an accident, but because in that 0.01% chance of having a severe accident, it may save my life or prevent me from being severely injured. So when confronted with the choice of wearing my seat belt or not wearing it, I choose to wear it, every single time. When it comes to a serious long term relationship, most men will choose not to try it with a single mother. It's not because they expect the worst case scenario, but it is taking unnecessary risk when there are millions of other women around.

We know there are exceptions, we know that our decision rule will make false positives. When critics make the "not all women are like that" argument, they are pointing out that we make false positives. But that isn't a solid argument against a rule that is optimized by correctly analyzing and weighting the possible outcomes. We rather make false positives than risk the severe consequences (i.e. wear your seat belt all the time).

aaron_the_just · 2014-04-02T18:39:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-04-02T00:02:21+00:00

http://happybachelors.wordpress.com/2010/07/28/the-rough-guide-to-single-moms/

Title	Hatred on single mothers?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	94
Date	April 1, 2014 9:24 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/21yj24/hatred_on_single_mothers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/hatred-on-single-mothers.84371 https://theredarchive.com/post/84371

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