Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 11/23/15

shinesunshine · 2015-11-23T15:37:30+00:00

Can I make some goals for next week seeing as I've never done this before? :)

Make every day special for my son and husband. I'm working on it, but I've been ill for some time and I've slacked a bit.
Earlier nights for my husband (he wants this too!) and me, earlier mornings and sharing the mornings together rather than me lying in.
Less Internet. I'd love StayFocusd for my iPad as its all I have at the moment and I miss it. Usually I just ask my husband to take it to work with him but sometimes I need to Google a recipe or something!

fhigurethisout · 2015-11-23T15:40:49+00:00

Last week I didn’t post; my blocking applications went off (LOL) and I was pretty busy. Excuses aside, I should be posting weekly!! I have a long way to go.

stuff i’m not so proud of:

I was really bad with shit-testing the last few days and really fought negative thoughts about relationship. Boyfriend is very busy applying to grad schools, working, and juggling school and whatnot and we live about 30-40 min away from one another. So we are barely going to see each other twice this week. I kept thinking “why can’t he just come over to see me or temporarily live here?” since I have my apartment space to myself right now. But the additional commute would just add to his workload and he can’t afford to be distracted. Thankfully i didn’t create an argument over it, because rationally i knew that he’s exhausted and burned out from this semester and i’m being unreasonable. But the occasional shit-testing sentence slipped out from the feelingz-- in passive-aggressive ways-- and I’m pretty disappointed in myself. At the end of the day, I just miss him a lot and shouldn’t have let it spiral into stupidity.
Had the urge to check my phone WAY too much last week
Binged yesterday and ate way too much, felt really weird after sticking to 1200-1300 calories a day (I’m only 5’1’’ haha)
Didn’t work out twice this week, only 5x (aiming for my regular everyday workouts again). Schedule felt not so great, i should be working out early morning, always Been meditating still with Headspace but for some reason I skipped yesterday, when I needed it most :p

stuff i’m a bit more proud of:

Batch prepped my food for the week last night, including some breakfasts. Won’t have to cook as much. Made a pretty awesome ‘healthier' apple crumble that i meant to make for boyfriend... but i’m devouring it...
Doing well with my water, at least 3 litres a day (trying to make a habit of “five to ten gulps” every time i go for the water bottle)
Mentorship is going pretty awesome; completing all her assignments each week and I feel like it’s helping a lot
I feel like I’m getting better at listening; I wonder if this is coming with meditation? People are talking longer and longer with me and I am more confident at holding eye-contact---though sometimes my responses are sorta floppy since I feel pressure to respond quickly (I should just take my time). I think that will come with practice too. Now I notice more that people never actually listen to me when it’s my turn to talk LOL oh well, my friendships are doing really well and i love my group of girls. :)

dear future-self:

Please cultivate a more loving and open mindset; do not shit-test, it’s unnecessary, and stop worrying over things you can’t control. Let go, focus on what’s important (being a soft place to land, keeping your space clean, working hard on assignments, being healthy!)
Keep tracking on MFP and practice self-control
Clean out your car lol, again
Keep listening
practice more gratitude and wake up thankful each day :)
less excuses, there is always time for at least some 10 min HIIT in your bedroom!

[deleted] · 2015-11-23T15:50:49+00:00

I have never done this thread before, so I hope I'm doing it right :)

My goals for this week are:

Complain less to my husband about his family. We both complain about them a lot due to some current circumstances in their lives, but I need to let him do the complaining and just actively listen :)
Get in at least a little yoga, pilates, or weights every day during this (what is for us) crazy holiday week. I'll already be doing lots of chores and some long walks.
Read more at night, away from electronic devices of any kind.

Littleknownfacts · 2015-11-23T16:25:07+00:00

My goals for the week are:

To relax a bit more. The stress is starting to build up from work and the recent move. I keep expecting my bf to reach my level of get-shit-doneness but in reality I need to get to his level of prioritizing and focusing on the important things rather than everything.

Also to not lose my mind over Thanksgiving. We are going to his parents. And even though we all get along, his mother won't let me anywhere near the kitchen. I understand her motive (she keeps kosher, I don't) but its still frustrating to get demoted to table fixer with the five year old.

Kittenkajira · 2015-11-23T17:34:34+00:00

I'm on a roll! Last week a few difficult situations arose, and I handled them well. In the end, it all worked out better than it would have if I'd opened my mouth. This week will be more of a challenge - we're going to two separate Thanksgiving dinners, one on Thursday and one on Saturday (both his family). I find it tiring to be social for extended periods, so I will have to work extra hard to stay engaging and pleasant.

Eucalyptus-mint · 2015-11-23T17:55:11+00:00

The good:

I am back working again after too long being out of work. The job is just basic administrative assistant/temp work but the company is great and the people are lovely. SO says he is proud of me for adapting so easily to it.
I have lost almost 6 pounds! Counting calories really works for me and it's making this whole process easier. I actually DO NOT need to eat as much as I was to feel satisfied.
Made tea for my SO every morning that he had to drive me into town to catch the train. He tells me he doesn't mind getting up early to take me, but I still feel guilty. I'm hoping the tea makes it up to him!
I have been less snappy with SO's parents these weeks. It probably helps that I don't see them as much now that I am working, but I have also been holding my tongue. I want to eventually work on my poise when speaking to them while they are being frustrating.

The bad:

I got very snappy with SO when he went to his friend's this weekend. I have an issue with having expectations in my head and getting upset when they are not met. I made him feel bad for going and I felt guilty all night. I apologised for being a jerk the next day and told him why I got so upset.
I let the bedroom get very messy during the week at work and excused it because I was "busy". I am going to try a lot harder to keep it clean this week.
I have not been drinking enough water and I think it's really starting to affect my skin/body. I have no reason not to, I just haven't been making myself.

This week:

I want to keep the bedroom clean and clean up the spare room as it has turned into the catch-all place for my crafts.
I need to start heading to bed early and letting my SO join me later in the night. I start to lose my focus towards the end of the work day from being so tired
Maybe start doing some online window shopping for clothes! I re-folded all the clothes in my wardrobe today and I realised how ill fitting and just not "me" a good majority of my clothes are.

sunhappydc · 2015-11-23T17:59:13+00:00

I'm trying to simplify my life here and offline so I'm just gonna make a bullet list lol

Recover from this pesky cold that has taken over my life. I have bought a humidifier for my studio since the air from my radiator is horribly dry and its screwing my sinuses while I sleep.
Trust my bf (I can call him that now :D ) and remember that he is on my side and wants to get closer to me. We're on the same team. THERE IS NO WINNING AGAINST TEAMMATES.
Pass finals this semester.
Minimize the urge to wordvomit my feelings.

CoochQuarantine · 2015-11-23T18:21:48+00:00

Last week I went on a couple of dates. My goal was to remain feminine and pragmatic about how I approached my dates. I have to say that for the first time I feel confident about my prospects because I am not just looking for the things that would usually make me swoon. I am looking to find out if they are a good man. One in particular actually :)

The one thing I wished I would have done more last week is put sunscreen on. I forget. I've been trying to get my skincare routine down but I keep forgetting the damn sunscreen in the morning before I leave my house because it is so dark. No excuses. Just get it done CQ!! GET. IT. DONE. Also, I didn't read as much as I would have liked to and let my book expire on Overdrive. I have been kind of slowing down on my reading and that doesn't make me happy. So this week I will work harder to stay focused on the things that bring me joy vs the things to just waste time.

Namshubophile · 2015-11-23T16:33:58+00:00

I had a great week. Things get better every week. I feel so grateful that when I do slip, I catch myself very quickly and recover quickly. I can literally feel my constitution morphing into some next level sh*t :). This subreddit has been crucial for me. I love that this community doesn't encourage external blaming and fosters a sense of self responsibility. I was working through some clinical anxiety and other issues, and finding this subreddit really gave me a push over the last hump to move past those issues, and last week the therapist said she thinks I can stop coming in for sessions altogether if I want. I still feel the anxious things at times, but I don't act out on them, because I stopped associating with people and communities who say that I deserve a "safe space." I think the safe space rhetoric is BS. Safe space for whom? Not for my boyfriend who ends up being on eggshells trying to make me feel "safe"!

I have some real thinking to do about what I want my priorities to be outside of my day job this week. I'm a little all over the place with this.

cakeforallofyou · 2015-11-24T04:18:47+00:00

First post!

Things I did well!

I wore my hair down and made the effort to dress up even on off days
I went out with my husband for drinks even when I was tired
I cooked from scratch and made sure husband had good food at reasonable intervals
I was more vocal about sex stuff and made him feel more wanted (which we had talked about being an issue).
I continued with my diet (/r/keto and /r/xxketo, y'all!) and lost a few more pounds (total of 12 so far!)

Things to work on

Another sex one: need to make sure that I'm vocally enthusiastic EXTRA much when he's being rough. He confided that he felt bad because he wasn't sure that I wanted it, because I never said I did.
I didn't budget as well as I should have, so it's now a few days before the budget renews and we're almost out of fresh groceries, uh oh!
Didn't cook from scratch as much as I should have, and some vegies went off because I didn't use them in time

Goals for next week

Keep on keto
Do some advance food prep and make sure to minimize food waste
Be more vocal/verbal about sex stuff especially when getting rough

femiyogi · 2015-11-23T16:47:53+00:00

So happy this thread exists! I'm trying to embrace my feminine nature and there's definitely, always room for improvement. My SO and I are moving in together soon and I've been really busy with my internship this week. I haven't had much time for reflection, while it is much needed

SO has called me out on being too negative on something that really didn't matter. An alternative would've been to practice an attitude of gratitude instead of nagging to my SO. I should also meet up with some friends, because my social isolation this week hasn't helped
I've been working on poise and expressing femininity through my appearance. I've replaced my old backpack with a more elegant version. I'm cleaning out my wardrobe and keeping what makes me feel feminine and confident, yet is comfy to wear. SO is definitely appreciating the effort :-))))
Sticking to my diet and regular exercise has been tough. I should be more disciplined about it. I'm thinking of keeping a journal with lots of motivational entries and NTSs, because online journals didn't help. Might start it after this post and a bath (I went running!)
Being more appreciative towards my SO because he stood by me and was so patient with me this busy week

ControlYourselfSrsly · 2015-11-23T16:49:21+00:00

Last week went pretty well!

-I made my guy a delicious meal each night. It has been a real struggle for us to compromise on the best way to handle my commute with my desire to make dinner. Turns out, there was no need to compromise!

-I got a lot of those pesky little tasks out of the way, the ones that aren't hard or particularly time consuming, but annoying to do. Stuff like ordering photos and mailing thank you notes, done!

-I think I did a pretty good job of supporting my husband at our friend's memorial service. We met a lot of people and I think I made him look good, like he always does for me.

On to the stuff that isn't so nice: -In an attempt to make my poor husband feel a little empathy, I completed disregarded facts that he stated and lost sight of my empathy for him and his situation during the debate. Things escalated far too much and I forgot wingnut's sage advice (stfu) way too late. I apologized profusely and soundly beat myself up the entire next day. All was well, and now I can watch out for that. Better to "lose" an argument than lose the intimacy.

-I drank too much last Friday night. Nothing bad happened, other than a slight hangover the next day.

-I failed to make it to church this week. We are newish to the area and haven't found anything to catch our eyes, but both of is miss being a part of the church.

Goals for this week: -Finish the blankets for Christmas. -Plan a cookie baking party/boys drink beer party with my two closest friends and their husbands -Enjoy the holiday with my parents! Allow hubs to relax in my parents home without pressuring him to join in all the time.

PS: I made this account today but have been running around a while with an old account, if anyone is wondering!

saffronbelle · 2015-11-23T21:04:18+00:00

Haven't done this before, but here are my goals for next week:

finish my statement of interest for graduate school applications and continue searching for a full-time job starting in January
start my keto diet again
get coffee with an old friend
make a homemade Christmas present for my boyfriend

coffee__ · 2015-11-23T21:23:18+00:00

Fitness: Last week my goal was to work out 3x. Didn’t do it :( I had one day where I walked for an hour…. That’s it. I’ve had other stresses that have been easy excuses not to work out. I need to get better at this but this is the hardest habit to get into.

Work: Last week I was considering leaving grad school where I’ve been quite unhappy, and I was applying for jobs. Today I had a phone interview only 1 week after applying! I was so nervous during it, but hopefully I hear good news after Thanksgiving. My goal for this next week is to finish up all things at grad school to leave on a good note, and continue the job search process. I would also like to practice my interviewing while I still have access to my schools career office, in case this interview went poorly. I was so nervous I have no idea if it went really well or completely horrible.

Mental health: I feel such relief after putting in my notice at school. A huge weight is lifted and my anxiety is completely gone. I have my second and last appointment with a school counselor tomorrow, so I will work on any goals she gives me.

Relationships: I was a little clingy with my SO, since I had anxiety over officially quitting grad school and needed constant reassurance. Otherwise I was a good partner, was very positive and didn’t nag although things came up that I would have in the past. My goal for next week is to continue being positive and taking care of small things for my SO as well as appreciating his support.

Routines: I have been good about cleaning, grocery shopping, and cooking. My goal is to keep it up :)

Appearance: My goal last week was to get haircut and buy some new clothes. That was easy to achieve! This week I want to look into teeth whitening, but its not of huge importance.

vernicq · 2015-11-23T21:58:12+00:00

I havent done this yet, so here goes!

Stop using my phone so much. I spend too much time reading pointless articles and just scrolling through news feeds not gaining anything. I borrow so many books from the library and never end up reading them because I'm so focused on social media.
Keep working on my knitting. I finally finished my first pair of mittens and am now working on a pair for my son. I could finish one mitten this week after work if I really apply myself!
Keep up with my housework! I have been doing really well keeping my place tidy, however my room needs a bit more tidying.
Create a shopping list and stick to it!!

Things I am proud of

Finishing one knitting project! They may not be perfect but they are finished and its the first project I have finished in a long time!
Had a wonderful evening with my SO and my son making decorations for my Christmas tree. It was so nice to have a bonding experience with my two favourite people.

littlek1ttenprincess · 2015-11-24T00:57:23+00:00

Last week was the first week of A's new job and I'm adjusting to the time change. When I get home from work instead of having 2 hours to have dinner on the table from the time I walk in the door (me home at 4, him home at 6) I only have a little over an hour (me home at 4, him home at 5:15). It's really cutting it close some days, but it's gotten better.

We had another row about paying for school. It's something I'm realizing he wants no part in, so I have to figure it out on my own which makes no sense since I we share a bank account and we're married, but that's another story. Atleat i know where he stands, and that if I make a choice he doesn't need to be a part of it.

Good things? I passed my class, I made thanksgiving without getting frustrated, I know what I'm making him for christmas.

Title	Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 11/23/15
Author	fhigurethisout
Upvotes	9
Comments	22
Date	November 23, 2015 3:22 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3ty7l8/weekly_selfreflection_thread_112315/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/weekly-self-reflection-thread-112315.85789 https://theredarchive.com/post/85789

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