When is the best time to aim to get married?

youreallmeatanyway · 2016-08-15T02:25:16+00:00

As a dude in my early 30s who plans to have a family, I usually rule out girls that are over 31 already - that wall is a real bitch.

EGOtyst · 2016-08-15T13:19:27+00:00

In the evening. Sunsets and all that.

loneliness-inc · 2016-08-15T14:45:35+00:00

You should get married as young as possible.

OTOH, you need to be ready. Getting married too young can be disastrous.

How young is too young? I don't think you can set an objective age. Different people mature at different rates. You need to be mature enough to handle your end of the marriage. As a woman, reading RPW will help you with many character traits and behaviour patterns that are essential and/or helpful for a marriage.

Once you know what to do and are ready to do it, get married. Find a suitable partner and get married.

Keep in mind that a part of you will never be ready to get married. Even after being married for a long time, this part of you will yearn to be a child again. This feeling is okay to have as long as it doesn't hold you back in life. You have to discern between this feeling and a legitimate concern about your readiness to marry. If there's a legitimate concern, hold off on marriage until you work it out. If it's just jitters or that part of you that'll never be ready to marry, overcome it and get married.

I'm 32 and married for a decade. I don't regret marrying young. I'd recommend it to anyone who listens. With every passing year, you become more set in your ways, which makes marriage harder and harder. Your pool of eligible men will shrink simply because your expectations will naturally grow as you become more particular about how you like this or that. When you marry younger, you can become set in your ways together. You grow together with each other.

I'm really curious as to how 'the wall' plays into all of this.

You should marry because of a positive reason. If you get married now, you'll marry a guy for all the right reasons. Getting married in a decade so you can lock someone down before you hit the wall is a negative reason.

[deleted] · 2016-08-15T14:58:16+00:00

It depends on when you find your man and how the rest of your life is going. I think if you're both on the same page and ready to settle, then before 25 can work. But I've seen it so many times now: in your early twenties there's still so much you want to do, you're growing and evolving so much, that not everyone manages to grow in the same direction. I mean, your brain hasn't even matured fully before age 25! Statistics show this very clearly: couples who have married young are more likely to get divorced. So for me, the ideal age would be anywhere between 27 and 33, but you don't have to lead an ideal life to live a great life. As many people here have said, what matters most is finding the right man, knowing what you both want, and being flexible when things change.

HavingTrouble892016 · 2016-08-15T06:43:33+00:00

This is something I've been wondering, if not almost obsessing over lately. Obviously, I think that the wall is a consideration to keep in mind in terms of then man I end up with and the timeframe I plan for. That said, the bigger concern I've been thinking about is fertility and children. I've been looking into exactly when you should start trying, which is something you definitely want to married for, if you want to have a sure chance at a certain number of kids. It all seems to be fairly early. This has me pretty worried, and am wondering if there I should things I should be doing with my education plan to facilitate the goal of finding that earlier rather than later? I also have to question if I'm being reasonable with that?

Delixcroix · 2016-08-15T09:15:32+00:00

Early but at the same time it really needs to be correct. If you don't choose the right captain for you it's wasted time..

I got married in my mid twenties but only after a long careful assessment of what I wanted from my relationship. (Which basically cane down to very simple things that ended up making me happy.)

ragnarockette · 2016-08-15T01:57:20+00:00

I think anywhere between 25 and 35 is probably good, depending on if you want children/how many.

I think late 20's is a good time because most women still look good, have achieved financial stability, and are wise enough to choose a quality man.

shekure123 · 2016-08-15T20:13:07+00:00

It depends on a lot honestly you have to be ready. I know I will get married earlier because I've already met the man I am going to marry (we've discussed the fact that we want to marry but not when exactly because its still pretty far off). We'll probably get married some time soonish after we finish school but that's assuming we have enough money for a nice wedding. That being said I don't think waiting is an issue - you want to make sure you've found the right guy. Play your cards right and the wall won't even be an issue.

opinionatedpuck · 2016-08-15T09:23:40+00:00

Best time to get mArried is when you find the right person.

Ignored0ne · 2016-08-15T20:06:04+00:00

I married my wife when she was 19 and I was 25. Many years have passed and things seen more than fine.

We basically skipped anything more than a trivial ceremony though, as we were busy trying to survive. We made it well.enough in the end.

Rommel0502 · 2016-08-14T20:17:49+00:00

I dont place an age or time frame on it. I concluded early on that I wouldn't get married until I was 100% ready and it was with 100% the right person. Given what I believe my SMV was, I had a rather long list of "must haves," and at age 44 I married who I believe was the right person. I dont regret a single moment of waiting. Who you marry is by far the biggest decision you will ever make regarding your own happiness. It should receive commensurate consideration.

Kiddingyoself · 2016-08-14T20:34:05+00:00

I would think this would depend, on whether or not you had a definite plan for kids, one way or the other. Personally, I think the benefits from having a father at least in their 30s are valuable enough to conclude that that's a good idea. I go back & forth about the age of the mother, though. I tend to think a 5-11 year difference in a couple is probably somewhere in the right ballpark. Generally speaking, I think the populace would be better off if everyone could make it through their 20s before having children. On the other hand, if one parent is relatively more mature/established, and they know they want children, it's probably healthiest for everyone if the mother has her children in her 20s.

I guess my short answer would be, definitely no children; by 30. Definitely children, by 25ish?

cccch_ · 2016-08-15T09:44:57+00:00

It think it really depends on the individual and the kind of relationship they are in. I'm 24 and have been with my partner for roughly 1.75 years. We live in different countries and are planning on getting married soon for visa reasons. Ideally we would've waited around 3 years of being together before marriage if we weren't dealing with the home country difference. It boils down to intentions of marriage, when you are wanting to have kids and several other factors. If you set a deadline I think it can cause additional stress, for us it's mostly for paperwork and we plan on having a ceremony under a tree with no costs aside from a little cake when the time is right.

Title	When is the best time to aim to get married?
Author	pinkdrawings
Upvotes	18
Comments	27
Date	August 14, 2016 7:46 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4xppym/when_is_the_best_time_to_aim_to_get_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/when-is-the-best-time-to-aim-to-get-married.86389 https://theredarchive.com/post/86389

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