Let's talk about Passion.

HelloNeo · 2016-12-29T19:30:53+00:00

Alpha widowed. And now you're looking for a Beta Bux. If you're genuinely willing to be a RPW, read all of the side material, read the top posts of this sub, absorb all the information from this sub and then make yourself a better you. I honestly believe everything will be clearer for you then.

ElfFey · 2016-12-29T19:59:37+00:00

A lot of what you're describing as "passion" stems from insecurity. You didn't know where the relationship was going, you never had a formal commitment, you knew he wasn't working enough to take care of you but you want to believe he will be rich and successful, just for you.

Sleeping with a man who is not your boyfriend is automatically more exciting than sleeping with your committed partner. After every tryst you wonder, did it mean anything? Will anything happen between us? Exacerbated by all the stories we hear by married women: "I wasn't looking for anything--then I met him. We spent a passionate night together, and have been together ever since."

I am not married so I can't be sure but I think these women were always willing to walk away. You're still hung up on this guy. A mental exercise I would offer is to focus on the negative things about him. Do you really want to be married to someone who doesn't care enough to say goodbye to you? How is that going to pan out?

meganstoocute · 2016-12-29T19:57:08+00:00

I have done all of this. I have been RP for the better part of two years, have poured over the sidebar multiple times. I've made myself a way better person than I was when I started. And it's still not clear.

Willow-girl · 2016-12-30T04:59:39+00:00

I think you're creating a false dichotomy, that you can only choose Man A or Man B. Obviously, there are other options. Plenty of fish, etc. But if you settle down with Man B (B is for "boring," lol), you eliminate (technically at least) the possibility of getting a man who rocks your socks AND wants to settle down and make babies, etc.

I can say from personal experience that almost nothing sucks worse than finding Mr. Right ... when you're already committed to Mr. Wrong!

[deleted] · 2016-12-30T09:22:18+00:00

Well... this is my first shot at this. I'm a philosopher and not 100% RP, but let's see how I do with the upvotes... lol. The one thing I am not clear on is why you only see your son "every week" instead of every day.

I'm a big fan of evolutionary biology and stoicism as a philosophy, the science is rather, well, questionable. The primary goal of most women in general is to find a man, have babies, and keep the man. That's it. That's like, your sole job if you want to provide a masculine role model for your son.

Why is that important? Because as a child (as a son), you look up to your parents--your dad, as the role model for how to make future babies and as a "sexual alpha," and your mom as to what kind of woman will care for your babies, because she's fertile, and these are what sexual signals look like. How did mom act to make babies? How did dad act to get mom to sleep with him? Those are the questions you're looking at. Men look for sexual signals, women look for resources. I'm not a big fan of the idea that women know how to raise boys because women tend to lie about feminine nature, and boys are raised believing that they are picked if they are "good enough" and that women have all the power when it comes to dating. Therefore, the first slut to come along with promises of sex--sexual signals--is going to be the first one he gets pregnant (because that's what you're modeling for your son, that sexual signals are put out for alphas and not alpha + paychecks + loyalty), and there's a good chance you won't see your grandbabies grow up because until there's a dynamic legal/cultural shift, women get custody at minimum until the child's no longer breastfeeding. That's just for starters, there are other reasons I won't get into for the sake of brievity.

I think it's naive to believe that isn't the dynamic in modern society. Your question as I understand it has multiple parts, so look at: "I would have to go to college, get a degree, and work too if I stayed with the guy... that actually gave me babies." That means, "I am not getting paid enough for my fertility to be able to raise a baby, but he already gave me a baby, so naturally he would give me more babies." Those are your genes talking, because you clearly want more babies. Morality is what's telling you, "What I'm doing is wrong. I shouldn't have done this. I should want to want the man with more resources, but I didn't, and still don't. What's wrong with me?"

Morality means you want the best life possible for your babies because you want to take responsibility for your actions. As a stay-at-home mom, breastfeeding and caretaking renders you rather helpless and completely incapacitated for months. You have a choice, raise your babies, or hand them off to someone else to raise them for you. Right? "The welfare state." It means they want to convince you that there are unlimited resources and no predators. It's unnatural. The man that gave you babies ... is broke. You can no longer keep your babies safe from predators. From an evolutionary perspective ... Well, duh. You made a bad choice. Time to take responsibility for that. Real men don't accept passing off the responsibility to someone else, and will provide resources for the upbringing of their children. Feminism took that and made child support mandatory so that the woman had the choice to leave, and not without cause. I'm not 100% red pill, as I said, but the benefits of leaving an abusive marriage are now co-mingled with 3rd wave feminist "Nana nana boo boo, we don't need you" ideology.

So, you're looking at this new man and thinking, "Hmm, Man B has plenty of resources for me to keep my babies safe, but I miss the man that actually got me pregnant in the first place because he was kind of sexy as hell." The beta state wouldn't exist if the alpha drive + availability of sex didn't pass off responsibility to the state to raise all these babies. It was your responsibility to find a man who could do both. You done fucked up. "Alpha widowed."

You're also mentally comparing the baseline high-level poverty or lower-middle class living to a lifestyle of relative security and comfort, for the rest of your life. In your gut, on some level I believe you know that means you will be handing your children off to other people to raise for you, if you go with Ex A. So you want to want your new man, Ex B, and you hope to put a band-aid on the "I'm not attracted to him" aspect of it. It's true, you will not be getting the "tinglies" that you actually want because you don't actually desire or admire him.

From an economic perspective (and feminist perspective), there's been a cultural shift away from women being required to responsibly choose men for raising babies. You now want to figure out how to take sperm from man A and resources from man B at the same time. Man B accepts tacitly that feminist ideology has completely shifted his choice towards "bad" women (because, otherwise, why would he be devoting his resources to raising another man's kid?) and away from "good" women (who are devoted completely to raising his natural offspring and keeping them safe from predators, while admiring and acknowledging his value as a man), and has accepted that your sexual signals means he's got a good chance at breeding even though he's worthess. He has low self-esteem and that's why he's dating you. That's a shame. By the way, if you have kids with him, there's a very good chance he will expect you to favor his children over your son, so I hope you're looking forward to that future power dynamic and conflict.

Passion comes from when you pick a good man to start with. You fall in lust, the feel good gooey brain chemicals swim around and you breed stupidly, and then you fall out of lust. Passion. What are you left with? That's a question between white knighting (your new guy) and finding a good man to begin with (not your old guy, or he would have stuck around ... or ... you drove him away). Love and passion are not a stagnant thing, they go up or down over time.

Are you pursuing a life of virtue? You have to hate evil acts before you can point your moral compass towards good. If you want to pass on good lessons to your children, i.e. attachment theory in psychology and all that, you should go back to the man who got you pregnant in the first place and make it work with him. Seriously. Even now, undoubtedly, there are qualities about him that you do admire even though you are with a man who makes more money. That is how you will find a man you can love the rest of your life--be with the man who has a vested interest in protecting his son, and who was attractive to you in the first place. Focus all of your attention on pursuing and doing good, creating a good life, be a woman that your son's father can admire so that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, too. That is my advice on how to fix this situation.

Go back to the man that you had passion for because you're already treating the boyfriend you have now as an option, and people deserve respect. You don't respect him. Suffer through the sacrifices and accept responsibility for the choices you made (to breed with man A), demand personal accountability in yourself to let your son be raised by his father, and do the best you can to make a good house with a meager paycheck. If you are getting fucked properly and you're in a loving relationship, you will find a way to make the money situation work and still be happy. Or take this new man's money until he is fed up with not being admired as much as your ex (feeling worthless gives people an undue sense of entitlement, in my experience), and he starts looking for other women that are willing to show him more appreciation for his resources. It's not as black and white as that, but you probably get the idea.

nonnimoose · 2016-12-29T21:55:29+00:00

What do you mean "get to see my son every week since...in same town"? Who is your son's father? Is it the guy you moved 750 miles away from? Why do you only see your son every week and not live with him?

As far as having to "go to college, get degree & work too," ALL adults should have the education and/or skills to be able to support themselves and any children they have. Even if one doesn't actually need to work (because their partner is the breadwinner), they should be able to support themselves and any dependents should the need arise.

justanotherusername4 · 2016-12-30T09:11:04+00:00

I have a feeling you are not over the first guy yet. I don't think it's a good idea to get too involved in someone else right now. All I hear is rational arguments.

He has a great job, makes great money, already has an established life, has owned a house for years, etc.

Work on you first, before you get pregnant and feel "stuck" with Mr. Traditional.

Rommel0502 · 2016-12-30T04:13:44+00:00

Another vote for Alpha widowed. Id bet my bottom dollar if Mr Passion knocked on your door right now you'd leave your current boyfriend on the spot, likely with the thought in the back of your mind that you could always win him back for his money if you really need to. (Let's be honest, he's really nothing other than a check for you.)

I'll even shine some more light on it for you, free of charge. Mr Passion never saw you as anything other than a short-term slam piece. He didn't even give a shit you were moving almost a thousand miles away. You simply had nothing he wanted any longer, and that is the painful truth.

Edit - Also, I dont believe for a second that you "poured over the sidebar," because if you did, you wouldn't be asking an obvious 101 RP question. What I do believe, however, is that you want people here to tell you what you want to hear to justify your cognitive dissonance

[deleted] · 2017-01-01T12:40:59+00:00

Passion is another word for attraction within the RP framework. You aren't attracted to your boyfriend as much as you were attracted to the previous guy. The RP term for this is "alpha widowed."

Moobx · 2017-01-22T22:16:19+00:00

I remember reading a post on here that said "not everyone can get the highest value man." Something along those lines. I thought it was funny at the time but now I see for ur situation it truly applies. U are an uneducated, divorced, alpha widowed single(?) Mom. And u are living at home at 24 but u give urself a pass for that too. U need a reality check on what ur smv, because if u knew ur true value then u wouldn't be on here complaining that u found a man at ur level that will provide for u.

Title	Let's talk about Passion.
Author	meganstoocute
Upvotes	5
Comments	40
Date	December 29, 2016 7:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5kyiuw/lets_talk_about_passion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/lets-talk-about-passion.86777 https://theredarchive.com/post/86777

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