Is it? I'm convinced of the TRP theory. Without getting too radical, most of the theory posted here corresponds perfectly to practice.
Damn it, but will it always be this way? I'm 23 years old and i'm fine with gaming, having sex and taking my turn, dumping and being dumped, flaking and being flaked on, i'm fine with it all as long as it brings the fun (sex) i want. I'm too focused on my career to think about any other commitments, anyways.
But that won't be this way forever. I'm about to obtain my degree as an MD and, after i finish my medical residency abroad, i will want to have a family.
I want to be 34 and love a young woman. I want to be loved by her, i want to have children and live together in a nice house.
I don't want to game all my life... i don't want to act as if i'm always busy or purposely have sex with girls i don't care about so the one i do care about notices me. So we can fuck and then each go separate ways again...
I want to be clear with someone. I want to leave mundane pride behind and just answer the text the second i got it, cause i happened to have the phone in my hand. And write a text about my feelings, not just logistics.
It is simply too bitter to think that, even if get a loving wife, she'll hate me once i try to treat her as a true friend. Once i show i too am weak and scared at times.
It's cool being kids in our 20s and having fun. My University is all the direction and commitment i need.
But as my graduation approaches and an adult family life threatens to come my way, i'm longing for a relationship that's more sincere. For our reason and love to go above the basic instincts of reproduction and genes. Of alphas and of betas. I want it to be about who i am and who she is, without tags.
Will this happen someday? Or is the Red Pill really that bitter?
This desire of mine can't really all be the effects and lies of the Blue Pill my mom taught me as i grew up. Or can it?
Edit: Have you been married? Are you over 30? How does it all work by then? Please say we can eventually let the defenses down and that my household will be my safe-place. That i will cry and suffer what i must there, with a wife willing to comfort, not thinking that i'm just no longer the strong Alpha she met, but rather, a human being; both strong and weak.