Decided to check out a feminist-friendly men's subreddit; was thinking about subscribing 'till I saw these upvoted comments

Ultramegasaurus · 2016-12-26T15:21:58+00:00

radical manhating feminists are rare

It's literally impossible for men's rights activists to gather anywhere in the Anglosphere without feminist threats, protests and petitions signed by thousands. So rare /s

Christ, I fucking hate this lie. The only tiny minority within feminism is the one that legitmately cares about men's issues. The rest don't give a shit or are actively against it.

2016-12-26T16:48:50+00:00

Don't take em seriously. It's just a male friendly front for Reddit feminists.

Spend some time there and you'll notice the following.

They don't give a shit about men
Everything boils down to "toxic masculinity" which is totally not made up.
The men there have this weird sense of guilt and self hatred ("thanks for showing me the light you superior females" posts...)
Tons of self aggrandizing bullshit.
Most top comments are "as a woman" because obviously it's called menslib.
You also get banned if you say men face sexism or that women sometimes contribute and perpetuate gender norms actively.
Mods are teenagers.

double-happiness · 2016-12-26T12:36:27+00:00

A few points to make about this:

1) He says at the start: "We're not here to focus on the "radical manhating feminists. [...] If we can't address issues with toxic masculinity..." This sounds to me like he is saying 'don't focus on the worst aspects of feminism, but do focus on the worst aspects of men'.

2) It was a bit unclear to me whether "not being a selfish asshole" refers to men, or to MRAs, so I asked. He replied "The latter is a subset of the former." Make of that what you will. It's incorrect actually, as some MRAs are women.

3) I was thinking about subscribing to this subreddit as I have some subscription slots free (only allow myself to sub to 50 reddits :P) and I was looking for additional men's stuff. I was looking to maybe join in the spirit of 'constructive dialogue', but I don't think I'll bother now. Talking about anyone being a 'selfish asshole' isn't a very helpful place to start, is it.

4) I notice that latter male feminist user has an awful lot of swearing and aggression in their comments. In theory, doesn't that come under the heading of 'toxic masculinity'? How about practicing what you preach?

EricAllonde · 2016-12-26T13:49:42+00:00

That sub is totally committed to feminism and is hypersensitive to even the slightest criticism of any aspect of feminism, to the point where that immediately results in comment deletion and banning. That alone should tell you the sub is going to be useless for discussing men's rights and men's issues.

The mods of that sub argue that this sub is overly focussed on pushing back against feminism. But the fact that they fear open discussion of feminism so much greatly detracts from their argument.

Modern feminism is always accompanied by its handmaidens: censorship and authoritarianism. You can't have the former alone, it always comes as part of that 3-way package. All three are toxic to men's rights, so I think you're much better off not subscribing to that sub.

cuteman · 2016-12-26T14:55:53+00:00

Considering a lot of participants in ML come from AMR I'm not sure if your ever going to get a fair discussion there without being accused of original sin for being born male.

ThirdWaveMeninism · 2016-12-26T13:50:11+00:00

There is a reason MensLib is such a popular sub for feminists.

It's a sub that no matter the issue still always puts womens issues before mens issues, and all arguments has to be done in the way that benefits women first and foremost.

2016-12-26T17:30:43+00:00

I'm pretty sure that defending radical feminism is indeed the purpose of that sub.

Tmomp · 2016-12-26T13:24:23+00:00

"not being a selfish asshole" is such a low bar for social behavior, yet many still fail.

The irony!

dominotw · 2016-12-26T16:23:00+00:00

not all feminists are bad, mmkay but all men are bad because you can eat a skittle from a garbage bag or something.

MRA-automatron-2kb · 2016-12-26T18:41:47+00:00

Our MRA sub isn't just about critisizing feminism.

That is a myth they use to vilify us.

We discuss issues that affect all males from babies to old men.

Society has shut down all our (non sports) clubs and now our bathrooms so we need a place to discuss our issues.

Mitthrawnuruodo1337 · 2016-12-27T04:26:24+00:00

I lurk on every "feminist men's issues" space I can find. I always hold out some hope that I'll be proven wrong some day, but they all follow the same lifecycle so far.

They are created by probably well-meaning individuals who hate MRAs but realized they can'r deny some of our points.
They gain subscribers because there is an actual market for that.
MRAs (like me) show up and say "hey, it's cool your doing this, but here are some counterpoints."
Everything is fine for awhile.
Radical feminists who don't actually care about men start to show up and badmouth MRAs and masculinity more than talking about how to help men (under the excuse of saving men from themselves as "helping").
The MRAs who have been there react to being badmouthed and the obvious sexism.
The mods start deleting the MRA's responses under pressure from the feminists to not allow our "hate."
MRM=anti-feminism=anti-woman becomes policy.
The sub rapidly deteriorates from "here's a feminist approach to mens' legitimate issues" to "men are scum and the only way to help them is to force-feed them feminism."
The sub dies because every feminist sub already says that.

The sub you are referring to has just reached stage 7 in my estimation. If you look deep in my user history, you'll see me singing it's praises about 3 months ago during what was clearly the onset of state 5, in the hopes to stave it off. Very occasionally, a feminist running such a space will make an about-face in stage 6 and either reject the feminist label and leave the space (such as Warren Farrell) or else continue, but be rejected by other feminists (such as CHS). My hope at this stage is to see if I can get either to happen to at least a few people.

v573v · 2016-12-26T13:20:20+00:00

If a certain demographic of people are observed to be assholes - racism and/or sexism is justified.

We tried that already - it didn't turn out well for the "certain demographic" so we abandoned it, but i guess some people like that person and people working at MTV didn't get the memo.

atheist4thecause · 2016-12-26T19:18:25+00:00

I used to see this kind of thing a lot more, but I think we've won a lot of these types of people over, so there's not nearly as many as there used to be. Ana Kasparian of TYT actually said something along these lines when covering #ShirtGate.

Basically, what they say is that men have real issues, there aren't enough people talking about these issues, but MRA's are a problem. They then also say that radical feminists are a problem. Of course, what they are doing is equating all MRA's to just the radical fringe of feminism. In reality, most MRA's are quite moderate, it's the moderate MRA's that have power today, and it's the radical feminists that have power. The irony here is that these types of feminists don't realize that they are often radical, despite recognizing that men have some issues.

Terribledragon4Hire · 2016-12-26T14:45:42+00:00

I'm going to wander over there...

Moral_Gutpunch · 2016-12-27T04:08:11+00:00

Join the fanfiction discord. Lots of feminists/egalitarians, but none hate men. Some are just oblivious, but would love to hear this forum's views of male rights.

You just have to put up with people who write yaoi and weird porn sometimes.

ExpendableOne · 2016-12-27T16:08:34+00:00

Radical manhating feminists are rare and only a small group used to demonize all feminists

okay, lets proceed to the issue of toxic masculinity...

Couldn't really get more ironic, or moronic, than that. This person is clearly a part of the problem and the very type of manhating feminists he/she is trying to dismiss.

AutoModerator · 2016-12-26T14:44:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Proteus_Marius · 2016-12-26T21:39:22+00:00

Wow. Bullshit in a subreddit?!?

This place is going to hell, again.

Title	Decided to check out a feminist-friendly men's subreddit; was thinking about subscribing 'till I saw these upvoted comments
Author	double-happiness
Upvotes	171
Comments	38
Date	December 26, 2016 12:26 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5kdj3c/decided_to_check_out_a_feministfriendly_mens/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/decided-to-check-out-a-feminist-friendly-mens.935124 https://theredarchive.com/post/935124

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