My [f] boyfriend is adamant about circumcising our potential sons, but I'm completely against it. How can I convince him otherwise?

Chaosdada · 2015-04-22T00:46:53+00:00

A little boy won't be able to keep a circumcised penis clean either - that's your job as a parent.

hmspain · 2015-04-22T02:14:49+00:00

“Please don’t circumcise your boy” is still free on Amazon; it covers all the (dumb) arguments.

Ultramegasaurus · 2015-04-21T19:31:23+00:00

Show him a video of a circumcision on Youtube. Important: enable the sound.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLhEoOQhsVw

CountVonVague · 2015-04-21T22:10:48+00:00

Tell him you will refuse to have those sons if he remains so dedicated. Tell him that the arguments he's making for Male Genital Mutilation are the same arguments being made in the middle east to justify female circumcision. Tell him that down the road does he want to be remembered as the kind of dad who was ok with violating his child's bodily integrity and well-being just for tradition and aesthetics? tell me, does future hubby vote GOP?

numb3red · 2015-04-22T03:32:04+00:00

It sounds like he supports it for health benefits. Tell him that no non-American organization in the world supports it, the evidence is inconclusive, the health benefits are marginal if they're even true, and through either god or evolution humans are supposed to have foreskin. Also mention that it's illegal to circumcise females even though there are supposed similar health benefits.

yoduh4077 · 2015-04-22T00:04:35+00:00

Tell him when you're circumcised, you lose 30% of the nerves in the tip of your penis. Your sons' future sex lives will be 30% more enjoyable if you leave them uncut.

Also, it's not too hard to clean. It literally takes like 10 seconds. It's just another body part when showering.

iainmf · 2015-04-22T00:30:56+00:00

It sounds like he as a very personal investment in his view.

Perhaps you need to frame the debate as not that circumcision is wrong, but that irreversible cosmetic surgery on infants is wrong. I mean there's nothing wrong with an adult choosing to permanently alter their body, but taking the choice away from someone else is.

Misanthropicposter · 2015-04-22T00:40:56+00:00

Sounds like he's incapable of reason on said topic. You're probably going to have to put your foot down when the time comes,they can't do it if one parent doesn't consent,your child's body isn't something to compromise on.

mrminibagel · 2015-04-22T03:17:06+00:00

1) tell him about how circumcision increases the likeliness of autism spectrum disorder. source like any other form of intense early childhood pain. Also, approximately 100 infants a year from circumcision complications source make sure to let him know your child could be at risk of death from the unnecessary procedure.

2) if this still doesn't sway him, show him a video of a circumcision being performed, or at least the sound of one (you can find them on YouTube.)

3) If he is somehow STILL unswayed, compromise. Tell him that if he wants the baby circumcised, he will have to get himself circumcised, or if he already is, tell him that he will have to get both his earlobes cut off without anesthetic (because that's the next most similar procedure I can think of.)

4) if he is somehow STILL not swayed, simply don't let him. Do not listen to any myths he tries to tell you (circumcision prevents AIDS, cancer, etc. they're NOT true.) spare your son the torture.

Best of luck to you and your family.

wufoo2 · 2015-04-22T13:59:56+00:00

Here is what worked for a friend whose husband was the archetypal "adamant dad" about circumcision.

Print this article and this one. Print; do not link. Links can be ignored.

Give him paper copies in an envelope or folder and tell him you want to discuss the articles after he has read them.

After a day or two, ask if he's read them. If he hasn't, give him one more day.

If he has read them, have a sit-down discussion.

If, at the end of that conversation, he's still adamant, show him the YouTube video linked in /u/ultramegasaurus comment. Watch it together. (This step wasn't needed in my friend's case.)

EDIT: typo

Katatronick · 2015-04-21T21:51:56+00:00

Have you brought up the tattoo analogy. There would be great benefits if you tattooed your name and phone number on your baby's forehead. Why would it be wrong?

From the reactions of some guys who post here, it can be hard to admit that circumcision is wrong if you have been circumcised yourself - you are also admitting that something is wrong with your own penis.

Aim for the compromise of letting the boy decide when he is 18. As a parent, most people would agree that it is jor job to get them to 18 with as many pieces as possible, but after that, it is up to them.

GenderNeutralLanguag · 2015-04-21T22:04:54+00:00

Offer up a "compromise". If he is willing to have a circumcision preformed on himself under the same conditions he is asking for for his son, then he will have made his point. If he is willing to let a doctor cut off just a little bit more skin off his penis while fully awake and aware without anesthetic, then clearly doing so to your son won't be that traumatic. If your BF isn't willing to do this, it proves that it is traumatic.

If he isn't willing to spend 10 extra seconds per dipiar change to save his son this trauma, you really need to reconsider if he is worth procreating with.

MRSPArchiver · 2015-04-21T19:17:18+00:00

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awesomedan24 · 2015-04-23T17:27:53+00:00

Show him the chart

Psychobird7 · 2015-04-24T05:49:51+00:00

I know I'm a bit late to this but I had trouble finding this little thread from a while ago.

It was a man asking about how to convince his wife but I do think most of the arguments would work for your BF.

blueoak9 · 2015-04-21T21:31:21+00:00

First off, you are right and he is wrong. God bless you for taking a stand.

Second, that child is just as much yours as it is his. Tell him what you'll do to anyone who comes near your baby with a knife.

notnotnotfred · 2015-04-22T02:16:51+00:00

make this very clear: you have decided that your children will not be circumcised. They may need to be fathered by another man.

juligen · 2015-04-29T15:39:04+00:00

Thank you for your effort. I also like that you dont plan dumb him and find another boyfriend. This would not be a good end, because he would just cut his future sons with another woman. I like that you intend to change his mind and protect YOURS sons form this stupid procedure.

Title	My [f] boyfriend is adamant about circumcising our potential sons, but I'm completely against it. How can I convince him otherwise?
Author	Katatronick
Upvotes	11
Comments	68
Date	April 21, 2015 7:16 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/33dydr/my_f_boyfriend_is_adamant_about_circumcising_our/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-f-boyfriend-is-adamant-about-circumcising-our.982198 https://theredarchive.com/post/982198

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