After 20 years

Doc13075 · 2025-10-26T03:07:09+00:00

25 years for me, again I was there for her at her worst. She developed severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and for a period ended up in a wheelchair. I'd left her in and out of baths etc and basically nursed her as well as working full time. All forgotten about though.

Supported her and her family, gave her brother a home with us when he was homeless. Forgotten

Supported the whole family when her mother was dying of cancer, forgotten.

Her rewriting of our history is a fantastic work of fiction.

Adventurous_Hand3705 · 2025-10-23T10:26:36+00:00

Seems 20 years is the trigger point for a lot of us

jaglio69 · 2025-10-23T00:07:31+00:00

You’ll be crying for months, you’ll be better in 6 months and mostly over it in a year. The Italians have a phrase. “Tutto Passa”. It’s very powerful. It means everything passes. And it’s true. I was married 10 1/2 years I’ve been out of the house exactly 6 months now, divorce in the works. I coparent and I don’t deal with her in anyway. Text only. And I only respond if it has to do with coparenting. I’m getting stronger every day and I’m almost out of the woods on this thing. A word to the wise, no booze or substances that numb your feelings. You gotta face that shit head on and metabolize it. Move around and workout. Stay busy. Take Salsa lessons, do yoga, play pickle ball, fill your life up with activities and people. This is happening for a reason, and if you stay hung up on her, you just might miss it!! Good luck and I know this is gonna sound weird but- congratulations on your new life

WhiteGiukio · 2025-10-22T14:36:14+00:00

The good thing is that you have a grown up boy who will be the sense of your life. Those years as an happy family were not lost, even if they ended. You now must think about yourself and your own happiness.

Sam_N_Emmy · 2025-10-22T14:08:22+00:00

It’s amazing how they just decide they’re done and move on with no emotion. Yet they tell us that we are the problem. Get ready for the roller coaster of crud she’ll put you through when people start judging her for her actions.

KingJon85 · 2025-10-22T04:54:15+00:00

My story is similar but different. I married her when she got cancer. We have 2 kids 12 and 17, and we have been together 18 years. I developed health issues the last 5 years and was bedridden aside from work for a couple years.

She had the audacity to leave me for being sick 1 month ago. I have a multisystemic autoimmune condition that I have pretty well under control nowadays, but she literally said, "I didn't sign up for this"

I get tired, but im a full-time contractor. I fucking cook, clean, grocery shop, take care of the yard etc on the weekends no wonder im fucking tired. She sat on the couch in her pajamas all day on her days off. She is the most useless woman ever, and I have no clue why I miss her but I do. I know i deserve better, and im losing my mind thinking about the court process.

Any-Original-1775 · 2025-10-22T04:37:16+00:00

Your son will see how she acts and know her for her disloyalty, regardless of how amicable it is.

Act with dignity now brother, time to go inward, grow, get fit, find your style... Find new leave

There's a long journey ahead

thraxx171 · 2025-10-22T03:28:13+00:00

Man, I'm sorry to read this, 20 years is a lifetime of love and loyalty. You stood by her through everything, even cancer, and that shows your real character. It’s okay to hurt, but don’t let it break you. Work on yourself, don’t wallow but learn from it and turn that pain into wisdom. The only person you can truly count on is yourself. Stay strong, brother this chapter isn’t the end, it’s version 2.0 upgrade and rrebuild for you.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2025-10-22T00:55:28+00:00

Sorry bro that this is happening to you. Same for me after 25 years. Stay strong and keep your dignity, don't beg and let them go.

Title	After 20 years
Author	Darkgreen1975
Upvotes	22
Comments	16
Date	October 21, 2025 6:13 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ockeyw/after_20_years/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/after-20-years.1564696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564696

Comments