Together 15 years, married 7. Have one kid (4), then my wife kind of found herself and said she's gay. We waited one year to figure stuff out, but she said likely separation was going to be the result. During that time the spark I had died out. I want a larger family, she doesn't want any more kids. So we are separating. The hardest part is thinking about how my kid will take this and that I'll only get to see him 50% of the time instead of every morning and night.

Anyway, while married we have been splitting bills 66/33% (mortgage, utilities, child costs, etc.), since I make about twice as much as her. I think that's fair. She has about 100k in equity in the house (her parent's help), I have 27k.

When we separate, my wife wants the following:

  • Staying in the house since the payments for her are reasonable considering the cost of the house. No issue with this.
  • I receive 15k of equity in cash, and am off the mortgage & deed.
  • 66% of daycare/school costs.
  • $400/month child support
  • No spousal support
  • Share custody 50%, with longer vacations/weekends/etc. agreed ahead of time.

After talking with friends and family, they say 20k would be more reasonable cash-out. But none of them have been through a divorce.

I've talked with a lawyer but we've agreed to try and settle this amicably, but on paper.