Contacting AP’s spouse

FulcrumShift · 2023-01-13T18:38:10+00:00

I can offer my POV which is the other side but it’s not really what you asked. I was sent a text at work that read, “Hi. Is this FulcrumShift?”

I responded it was and asked who they were. She responded with an introduction and how my STBXW and her husband had been having an affair and she had found out 5 days prior. I asked to speak to her on the phone, she agreed, so I called and she answered all of my questions to the best of her ability and then sent me the proof she had.

I will never be able to repay her what she did by contacting me. My divorce is on going so I won’t say much until the ink is dry, but she gave me the ammunition I needed to get the best deal possible for me and allowed me to take the upper hand with my STBXW. I am beyond thankful for her decision to do the right thing and tell me because my situation could have ended very differently and very poorly for me.

I would have told them much earlier, but as you said, “various reasons” and I am not in your shoes nor do I know your situation.

I8erbeaver2 · 2023-01-13T23:17:33+00:00

You need to go screw his wife

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2023-01-13T19:42:44+00:00

Personally, I would want to know, I would want to be told. As kindly, calmly and factually as possible.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2023-01-13T20:10:05+00:00

I did. I had to do some internet sleuthing to find her, so I set a short facebook message. I wasn’t about to let his life remain all happy and blissful while he and my now-ex were ruining my life.

Somehow, they APs are still together. Boggles my fucking mind.

henrysmyagent · 2023-01-14T02:16:00+00:00

It is always the right move to tell someone their partner is a lying cheating piece of shit.

How and when is up to you, but in general, the sooner the better.

Idaho2A · 2023-01-13T19:44:22+00:00

I did. It backfired and my STBXW AP broke up with her. Now instead of focusing her attention on him she is doing what she can to fuck me over because I ruined her “relationship”.

Unique-Knowledge-800 · 2023-01-13T23:02:51+00:00

Out of curiosity what is an AP?

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-01-13T18:41:20+00:00

Dude, you still hate your ex for blowing up your marriage. Holding on to hate is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You're still allowing your ex to pay rent in your head. Time to evict her. Turn up your Don't Give a Fuck meter another notch.

It’s up to you which handle you will grab: Resentment, bitterness, anger, unfairness or forgiveness, strength, fortitude, looking for the good, of looking for what you might do with what has happened. It’s the faculty of choice to grasp the problem or the opportunity. There’s always some good hiding in or around the bad. You have to look for it and grab hold of it. This is how we thrive in life. It’s not easy to accept pain and suffering in life. None of that feels great. You must have a love of challenges and embracing adversity. It’s training for what the world is throwing at us every day, not resignation or pessimism. It is bold optimism fused with determination. Turn what you have to do into what you get to do. Turn what life throws at you into fuel for the fire that is making you great.

Title	Contacting AP’s spouse
Author	Bad-Touch1981
Upvotes	20
Comments	22
Date	January 13, 2023 5:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10b0lt2/contacting_aps_spouse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/contacting-aps-spouse.1148475 https://theredarchive.com/post/1148475

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