Much of the advice for men going through divorce constantly reinforces this idea of not dating for at least a year from the divorce being finalized.

Well, I really enjoy having female friends I can spend time with and have companionship and yes in many cases even have sex with. I'm late 30s, very high sex drive and coming off a marriage where my ex was on so many mental health drugs she hadn't wanted to have sex more than every three months for years.

And despite how badly she treated me, cheating, everything, I was still really torn up and having a hard time getting over her.

But as we hit 9 months separated and finalized our settlement agreement (divorce will be filed and finalized this fall, our state makes you wait a whole year from sleeping in separate bedrooms), I got on Bumble and started matching almost instantly with several super hot women who are 3-6 years younger than me. I've now gone on 3 dates and talking to several other women and setting up dates. I even straight up told my ex I was going to a date the other night when we exchanged the girls.

And it's so freeing. And confidence boosting. And just nice to have genuine adult conversations with members of the opposite sex. And yes I'm making out with and fucking some of them. I'm totally up front about being separated, having kids, and not yet wanting to enter into any long term relationships again. And yet I'm getting repeat dates, girls showing effort my wife never did, texting me first, etc.

I agree not a good idea to let yourself fall in love or pursue a long term relationship too soon after a divorce or during separation. But I find that just dating to have fun and meet people is really, really good and I'm loving life.