I feel like I'm living this fucking nightmare over and over.

we arent final, we live in seperate houses, she still lives in the marital home. I've posted or commented in the past about this situation, she has her boyfreind, the AP living in the home. If that isn't enough to make you feel the hurt, having her constantly reminding me everyday is something I i have to deal with, and I'm beginning to get extremely drained from it.

Not a day goes by that I don't hear something along the lines of, "do you want any of the paintings", or " are you planning to take any of the big plants". Every day there is a box that gets dropped off with odds and ends. picking up the kids? here take this box i put together that's in the garage.

Then there is last week. she became very casual with me, there was almost a familiarity to her behaviour of who she used to be. I kind of assumed that her and that fuck were no longer together, he wasn't around, and as I said she was behaving differently. Then out of nowhere Saturday night she goes radio silence and shes back to the cold bitch shes become in the last few years. and the asshole is back in my fucking house. yes it's still mine, thats why I say that, we haven't figured any of that shit out yet.

I dont really know what this post is about, probably just a vent. I know what I need to do, and for the most part I've been maintaining the boundaries neasesary. But I i would be lying if I said this wasnt chipping away at my sanity. last week was a nice respite from the last few years, and then she pulls that rug out from under me again and turns into whatever this is.

Dudes, im tired, I'm exhausted, im depressed, she robbed me of what was rightfully mine, a pleasant family life. she gets to have her fucking happy life bullshit, but im forced into this goddamned nightmare. i have lost trust in anyone, i dont like anyone, i think this fucking world has gone and lost its fucking mind.

peace