Feeling down this week.

Safe_Ease_2728 · 2026-03-14T12:41:27+00:00

I hear ya. I was married for 18 years too. Been divorced five years. I have my grown kids with me but they're both in college. One lives on campus and the other commutes. I work f/t but I'm also in grad school. I don't have time to date but I want to improve my self confidence and look and feel good. Pick one thing that you want to improve about yourself and work on that, then focus on the next thing.

bach89 · 2026-03-08T20:30:32+00:00

So I am in the middle of a divorce with 2 kids, 11 and 7. My wife has cheated on me several times. Once a kiss, twice sexually that I know of. She still wants me. I told her I can’t do this anymore. Now our house is up for sale, and I need to tell my kids that we are having a divorce. She created a Tinder profile 3 days after I said I wanted a divorce. A distraction, she said. And yet… as foolish as I may feel sometimes, I still love her. But I cannot stay. I cannot look myself in the mirror if I do. I cannot compromise my dignity, my soul, my self-respect for the illusion of love. So what’s my win this past month?

I got some self-respect back.

I got a piece of myself that I thought I’d lost forever. A quiet, steady truth: I am worth more than lies.

I am learning that love isn’t only about holding on, it’s about knowing when to let go. And in that letting go, there is freedom.

So this is me, standing in the ruins of a broken chapter, feeling the weight of loss, but also the stirring of hope. I am walking forward, step by step, toward the man I still need to become. Stronger. Clearer. Whole. And maybe one day, I’ll look back and realize this was not just an ending, but the beginning of everything I need.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2026-03-08T16:01:11+00:00

I say date around early on. It’s the only way to know what you really want and what your deal breakers are. Getting in shape, a new wardrobe and learning how to flirt again are nice distractions at a minimum. Keep at it until you meet your person and you’ll see the grief disappear

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-03-08T09:19:57+00:00

18 years here, too. 10 months single. I get more attention than in my 20s, much younger girls so far, few hookups and situationships. They all had some major mental health issues though, even more insane than my ex. I have a certain vibe that acts like a magnet for those types, even before marriage. Gave up on hope something will ever change.

What's new? Nothing, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Not lonely, just bored out of my mind by the routine. Maybe I'll larp as an asexual gay so I can get some guy to go out with me for drinks and play board games.

Got a laptop recently, so I'm gaming a bit again.

Prize_River9642 · 2026-03-08T09:11:40+00:00

Divorce finalised on Wednesday. Crashed my new car same day, total write off. Relapsed later the same day (wasn't DUI or anything). Bad way.

Inner_Journey21 · 2026-03-08T05:57:11+00:00

Well I quit alcohol. 10 days sober. If that counts.

TeddyPSmith · 2026-03-08T03:41:24+00:00

Hey bud hope you’re doing ok. I think any week where you have a good day or two is a win. This is supposed to hurt and there is nothing wrong with any of us for feeling that way.

I actually had 3 good days this week. That was a huge win for me. 5 total good days in the last 3 months! But they’ve started happening.

I really don’t think dating is a good idea right now. I am radioactive. Any woman that would choose me right now would probably not be good long term. I think this is a time for finding ourselves. It’s building quiet perseverance through pain. Working out the old emotional muscle hurts but this is what healing looks like. It feels like being awake during surgery.

Glad to see you posted. Got your back anytime you need to reach out

ConfidenceSuch8793 · 2026-03-08T03:26:49+00:00

Yo. 18 years is a long time. I am actually few months into my separation and it’s super complicated. I guess they all are complicated. I go through stages of grief. I don’t really know what to say, but I could say a lot. I’m just trying to be a little bit better than I was yesterday. Give myself grace (after shit talking myself) when I act impulsively and give in to unhealthy temptations. How are you?

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-03-08T03:22:58+00:00

Sounds like finding a woman shouldn't be on your list of things to do at the moment. Focus on yourself and building up your self respect.

Im 6 months out of a 17 year relationship, so im right there with you homie.

twiggyRamirez11 · 2026-03-08T03:22:35+00:00

I know this sounds really easy but do your best to put yourself first. Talk to you like you are the best person you know. “A day at the time” might sound cliche but it is baby steps until you are able to run

Title	Feeling down this week.
Author	KingJon85
Upvotes	18
Comments	33
Date	March 8, 2026 3:17 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rntrq5/feeling_down_this_week/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/feeling-down-this-week.1574973 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574973

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