In divorce process, fighting for equal placement with my kids (WI)

WartimeDad · 2021-07-28T22:41:45+00:00

My advice is to never give up.when you go into mediation you hold firm and make that a dealbreaker. Your child needs you 50/50. Period.

NWAustinDude · 2021-07-28T22:58:27+00:00

Get an attorney. Go full bore for full custody and settle for 50/50.

Be very careful and protect yourself. Don’t drink.

Don’t engage in arguments. Record everything.

It may sound extreme, but you need to protect yourself.

You’ll meet the real woman you married very soon (especially if you counter petition for full custody) and she is willing and capable of inflicting serious damage to your reputation, your finances and your relationships with your kids with 1 phone call to law enforcement.

Start spending some extra time with your kids and take photos.

You have to be cordial and allow her to think you’re going along with the process.

Record everything. Don’t go to jail.

Keep your head up. Good luck.

Frosty_Season_8092 · 2021-07-28T23:00:01+00:00

My experience in Utah has been the court just applies whatever the stay at home mother says and if you feel it should be any more you have to order a custody evaluation. Then you may get more but probably not up to 50/50. It's the most unethical experience I've ever been through.

cschoonmaker · 2021-07-28T22:50:48+00:00

In CA, 50/50 is what the courts have deemed to be in the childs best interests most of the time. Any change to that would have to be justified by the person seeking the change (i.e. mom is a drug addict, father is an alcoholic, etc..). Make sure your lawyer knows that you won't settle for anything less than 50/50 and she's going to have to prove to the court any accusations she wants to make.

pegleg_legal · 2021-07-29T08:41:14+00:00

Any advice for me?

Put in the minimum effort and expense necessary for that first mediation. Unless she comes with an offer that is reasonable right out of the gates, GTFO. Mediation over custody is a fool's errand.
Tell your lawyer what your goals are and what he or she thinks it will take you to get there. Also ask them if your goals are reasonable and achievable. Tell him or her you don't want a binding estimate, just a ballpark so you can plan your finances and make sure they get paid.
Fight like hell for your co-parenting time and probably the right to stay in the house. If you have a spare room, put a fucking padlock on it and make it yours. Separate - don't let her abuse you and run you down. Send the message that you're in for the long haul and shit is different now. Puffing up, even if you don't want to fight in the end, will make her think twice if she believes you're some kind of pushover. New man has come to town.
Gather evidence of parenting. Button up your information leakage. Shut down social media. Claim any shared computer. Make sure you have access to finances and that any joint accounts don't get wiped by her.

If she's laughing at you - punch her in the fucking nose (figuratively). This is no laughing matter and you are no fucking joke.

justmeteee · 2021-07-29T08:56:31+00:00

I’m in England so I don’t have any advice except stay strong and you will get through this

Express-Necessary793 · 2021-07-28T23:25:27+00:00

I’m exactly in the same boat. We both stayed home and it says I was absent because of my outburst. Like what the fuck. She would literally be holding my son while screaming at me. We just didn’t get along and they are loaded. There are new fathers rights in my state. But I’m scared.

25_years · 2021-07-29T14:25:37+00:00

she’s making me out to be some absent father

Women love this excuse. They'll dismiss you with contempt, suggesting you want more custody just to lower child support payments. And if you put in long hours at work during the marriage to provide for your family, they're happy to use it against you in the divorce ("He was never home").

Female logic fails to see that marriage has dynamics. When people divorce, the dynamics change. Example: I anticipated that my wife would be sexually available when I married her. When I divorced her, that obviously changed.

Another example: A father who works long hours during a marriage will also undergo a change in dynamics and values once the marriage is over. Things change. Relationship dynamics change. It's entirely possible -- even likely -- the father will make new efforts to strengthen his relationship with his kids.

It's wrong for the woman to say the role of a child's father in the future is defined by his role in the past. It's just as wrong as an ex-husband expecting sex from his ex-wife.

Don't let her control the narrative. The past is not the future.

Descarted1 · 2021-07-29T15:31:39+00:00

I asked for 50/50 and wife ended up leaving my child with me most of the time. She only stays with her mother 1 overnight a week now.

cdjohnny · 2021-07-30T13:49:30+00:00

I worked a lot and settled for every other weekend Friday night through Sunday morning PLUS every Wednesday overnight. It worked out well.

Title	In divorce process, fighting for equal placement with my kids (WI)
Author	I-Bat880
Upvotes	10
Comments	32
Date	July 28, 2021 9:32 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/otjjyg/in_divorce_process_fighting_for_equal_placement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/in-divorce-process-fighting-for-equal-placement.816374 https://theredarchive.com/post/816374

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