Jelly

Formal_Ad4612 · 2024-11-28T18:04:08+00:00

My divorce finalized 2 days ago, 12 months to the date she left and went no contact. My expectations of others over this last year have definitely changed. I’m a very empathetic person, but prior to my divorce experience I would’ve been unequipped (at best) to really “help” anyone. Regarding connection, if I were to do it over I’d have given myself a bit more grace and not forced my myself out of my comfort zone as often as I did. I know that’s contradictory to a lot of advice. But my reality was that I was so broken for most of the last year, I didn’t know what to fix - for someone else to “fix it” is a ludicrous ask. I peeped a little turkey fry this morning with a lot of friends in my hometown - it was good, it was brief, and I’m back home. I’m grateful I was invited, I’m grateful I enjoyed, and I’m grateful I’m back home and won’t have to answer any more “tough questions” today

DrakaninX · 2024-11-28T13:24:10+00:00

I haven’t filed yet, she’s reviewing the paperwork because we are gonna do an uncontested. I miss he every day, every moment. I just want to hold her hand and kiss her too. For me it’s only been a month of separation, which I know is still soooo early. We were together for 18 years and I know it will take a lot of time to recover. I just struggle to see my life without her

regertsrus · 2024-11-27T13:07:30+00:00

You have not gotten laid by another woman?
Get to it. It will cure everything

Movieman_Steve · 2024-11-27T11:47:50+00:00

If she's the one that initiated the divorce process, then live your own life without her in it. Hit the gym, therapy, hang out more with your friends, take that trip you've wanted to take but maybe she said no to....enjoy life. Right now you've got to look thru the front windshield of a car. Always forward.

Reflog1791 · 2024-11-27T05:14:56+00:00

Go to gym, bet buff, update wardrobe. Turn this all into a good thing by improving your life.

DifficultAnt23 · 2024-11-27T03:43:20+00:00

Your brain literally has to unwire, not unlike detoxing from an addiction. They've found that the dopamine centers light up in the MRI similar to cocaine. It may take a year, or two, and then come through and process it all and see clearly. Avoid alcohol and drugs, self-harm. Channel your agony into work, gym, meditation, friendship, community.

kimboslice3345 · 2024-11-27T01:15:02+00:00

What led to the divorce?

Complex_Meal2687 · 2024-11-27T00:32:57+00:00

Jelly? How old are you? Is this a paragraph for a describe your imaginary celebrity crush?

CorporateNonperson · 2024-11-27T00:28:21+00:00

I've had three major life events in the last three years. First was cancer. Second was my doggo passing. Third was going into a divorce.

All my friends were there for me for number 2. Number one and three I've gotten the same type of response from about 70% of them. "That sucks." "Tell me what you need (that I won't show up for)." Mostly, I figured out, they wanted me to stop talking about it.

And they are pretty good people for the most part. But people don't like to deal with the hard stuff. You know when a friend's spouse or parent dies, and you hear "I just don't know what to say"? It's that, but now it's you. And it sucks.

So all I can say is that I'm sorry. I'm going through it. It does get better. Slowly, but better. One day the waves of grief will stop, and you'll simply be able to look back and feel how you feel -- that it was great; that it was horrible; that you miss or you don't. And that will be a good day.

And when somebody else is going through something, you'll know to ask them about it and be there for them the way that nobody was for you. And it will probably make their week.

crager34 · 2024-11-27T00:14:12+00:00

It's my opinion that divorce is mostly solitary for most men. You know, it's only a scratch, walk it off, go to the gym.

Avenues like this sub are cathartic and sorely under rated. Read everything here, and if it gets bad enough, pay for therapy.

You are normal!! That can be a good and bad revelation, but ultimately, I see it as good.

Embrace the madness and know you are never alone.

xDouble-dutchx · 2024-11-26T23:08:43+00:00

I feel you.

Title	Jelly
Author	Obsithiax
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	November 26, 2024 11:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h0plk6/jelly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/jelly.1536982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536982

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