Making 50/50 Custody Work

throwawaytheresties · 2022-03-02T02:21:17+00:00

I hired an awesome nanny, she picks up my kids and brings them to our house and hangs out until I get home.

pegleg_legal · 2022-03-02T07:51:45+00:00

Quality over quantity, 50/50 isn't for everyone and if the decision to go for 50/50 is primarily financial, don't forget to count the cost to the kids for having an absentee parent.

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2022-03-02T01:27:07+00:00

I had to find daycare and after school care for the time I had the kids and eventually kids could ride the bus to my mother's house until I could pick them up. At least in my area, there were programs for kids to go to after school and even during summers. Check with your kid's school and places like the local YMCA. Not going to lie, it was tough.

throwawaytheresties · 2022-03-02T02:21:28+00:00

I hired an awesome nanny, she picks up my kids and brings them to our house and hangs out until I get home.

azwildcat74 · 2022-03-02T03:16:29+00:00

YMCA does before/after school care here for a relatively small price.

HelixFish · 2022-03-02T03:19:11+00:00

Key information not in your post: how old are your kids? Some schools have aftercare on site after school. Either at the school or that picks up from the school. Then you’d pay from after school to whenever you pick up. I did this for awhile until my kids got old enough. It’s not fun as a parent, but the kids are cared for and it provides a good routine for young kids. I think the expense is tax deductible also. You could also see if a neighborhood teen would watch the kids after school, also did this awhile but you have to make it clear that they are responsible for the kids and you cannot snap your fingers and make it home.

Rough-Area4765 · 2022-03-02T12:36:24+00:00

Only reason I am able to make 2/5/2/5 schedule work is that I work primarily from home. If I had to go into an office daily, it wouldn’t work and it would be too expensive to hire a nanny. The every other weekend and one overnight per week might be the best option for you (60/40). I’ve had to skip a few overnights here and there due to travel/work, but that’s a legit excuse. I won’t miss time with kids for personal things.

Quality over quantity. Your kids will see you as a stable, hard working provider and that sets the right role model for children. The SAHM role is also good but it shows children that one parent will always depend on the other to live (bad message).

If you can work it with your stbx to have 3 weekends a month, plus 1 overnight per week and be able to participate in all their after school sports, then that might be a better option vs 50/50. You’ll still pay child support either way, so it’s not about money, just about making the schedule work.

treborcj · 2022-03-02T13:30:01+00:00

My kids school had after school care. I would pick them up when I got out from work. This was my cheapest option.

Status-Albatross7914 · 2022-03-02T14:17:08+00:00

I work from home, so I can take an hour here or there to pick up my kids at the bus stop and etc. however, most schools have after school programs that will keep the kids until 6 pm so parents can pick up after work. If your ex goes back to work (and she will almost certainly have to) the two of you could share the cost because it will also let her work a more normal day.

Also, take a look at a 5/5/2/2 plan instead of 7/7. That will mean that you, for example, get Monday/Tuesday, she gets Wednesday/Thursday and you alternate Friday and the weekends. It will make the schedule better for you and the kids because you can schedule your weekdays consistently. Eg. you always work from home Monday and Tuesday and you can plan your travel Wednesday Thursday and some Fridays.

You’re going to have to learn to say “no” to your boss and to set some hard boundaries. We’re in the middle of a historic labor shortage, so now is the time to do it as you have more bargaining power than you imagine.

Title	Making 50/50 Custody Work
Author	Specific_Astronaut53
Upvotes	3
Comments	16
Date	March 2, 2022 1:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/t4nt5o/making_5050_custody_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/making-5050-custody-work.1104591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104591

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