Need advice

salty-sheep-bah · 2022-10-15T19:13:44+00:00

You don't need advice, you need a lawyer.

can I be on the hook for alimony too?

I'd assume so. Get used to the idea

captainchippsixx · 2022-10-15T19:57:28+00:00

You need to make a to do list in super detail and start working it. Don’t do this at home where your list can be discovered.

In any situation like this where you have someone that will Lie like she did about college, you have to be prepared for the worst. She will go for custody and alimony.

Example -start looking into Texas law regarding divorce. Some lawyers doing pro bono work and you might get the right answers for the big questions you have. - start squirreling away some cash for emergency- not at the house.
- change your will to your blood family being beneficiary for the kids. - move slowly your prized possessions into storage or relatives house. - change your passwords on accounts - do not open any new lines of credit. - make sure your the only one with keys to your car. - will she make false accusations against you? Lawyer question on how to get ahead of that before serving. - talk to your family when ready and your work. Again when ready so you can be ahead of any bs the soon tb ex will start.

Responsibility140 · 2022-10-15T20:18:00+00:00

Get a lawyer

her_dog_is_odd · 2022-10-15T22:58:33+00:00

I’m in TX and I don’t pay alimony. That was something we agreed to.

FunkyTownMascot · 2022-10-16T04:43:14+00:00

Cohabitation after filing is a dangerous thing. She may lob false allegations at you.

If things aren't hostile then depending on the work you do you can stop working OT or whatever to lower the income differential between you. If she goes full ballistic and rakes you over the coals then you will be paying her a boatload of money and her interest in getting a better job will go bye-bye.

Either stop bringing in as much money or directly pay the bills and let her use her part-time money for all of her personal stuff.

I'd also start squirreling away cash through cash back at stores, a aTM hits every few weeks for a few hundred bucks "spending money, etc." Having $20k cash off the books will help you a lot when it's time to move out.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-10-16T11:59:16+00:00

Don't move out before divorce is final. Here's why: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622

Spousal support is based on the delta in incomes and duration of marriage. At a minimum, her income will be imputed at full-time minimum wage. It can be imputed higher if she's made a higher income at previous jobs.

Divorce is not the time to DIY. Dissolving marriage is a business transaction, and there are a ton of pitfalls and landmines that can result in nightmare entanglements for years. Hiring an attorney for divorce is normal and expected.

You should familiarize yourself with Texas Standard Possession Order and Texas Expanded Standard Possession Order. If she's not going to voluntarily agree to 50% parenting time, then you make the latter your hill to die on.

BeneficialAbalone578 · 2022-10-15T19:16:33+00:00

Sorry about your situation. I don’t have good answers to your questions other than don’t know, it depends, it depends.

I just wanted to say based on what you’ve wrote…I’d venture to say just forget the no lawyer thing. Unless she’s completely ignorant, as vindictive as you make her sound she’s going to get/have one when the time comes. Lawyering is a business and an annoyingly expensive one to hire. But there’s no way around it at your point and you are indeed going to get destroyed if you attempt to limit your dealings with them (assuming she has one ever). Pay now or pay for more for years to come, especially with multiple kids and 10+ yrs marriage where alimony can come into play in TX. Divorce doesn’t often go to court, it’s normally mediation. Go talk to a couple lawyers, you want ones that are in your county.

47omek · 2022-10-16T02:53:38+00:00

Put in place some austerity measures to see if you can get her working full-time. Completely remove all of her access to your money and to any credit cards that you are primary on. From now on you do all of the grocery shopping yourself and you don't buy anything that she likes. A prepaid gas card so she can put gas in her car and gift cards for toilettries etc is all she gets from you and if Princess wants more than that she can get a full-time job and buy it herself.

Once she's been working full-time for awhile she won't have any more claim to be the primary caregiver to the children than you have (you're heavily involved with the children, right?) and you can go for equal parenting time and if she won't agree "let's just see what the judge says".

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-10-16T14:45:09+00:00

Convince her to get a full time job ASAP. Do whatever it takes. Tell her you want the both of you to save up for a nice vacation to Hawaii. Once she works full-time for a year, your alimony payments will be reduced.

I highly encourage you to get her a FT job and pretend your not divorcing.

If u don't want to go that route, be generous in your divorce and give her 50% of everything and move on.

Title	Need advice
Author	H-D1
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	October 15, 2022 6:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/y4vc2z/need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-advice.1135517 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135517