Protocol for introducing the new gf?

DuckIcy6297 · 2024-12-05T00:30:31+00:00

My ex met her before she met the kids.

Went well. The kids met her in the afternoon at the pool.

Later on we met up with the kids and brought her dog over.

Within weeks they asked her to stay over for a movie night and everyone sleeps in the living room. Do it with good intention.

Technical-Mammoth592 · 2024-12-03T17:42:57+00:00

The answer depends on how old your kids are. Younger? Mini golf and burgers or something. Older, just all go out to dinner or something. If you have teens, they are old enough know what's going on and if they are cool with you dating and willing to meet the new gf, doing a dinner will be simple enough.

THX1138-22 · 2024-12-02T13:26:59+00:00

Your kids will have torn loyalties. They will feel a sense of obligation to their mother, and that may cause them to be unpleasant towards your new partner. Just be prepared for that. It’s especially triggered if the new partner starts to intrude into their physical space, such as if you start to consider cohabitation at some point in the future, or if they sense that your new partner is taking up time that they would’ve gotten from you. Hopefully your new partner has the maturity to understand this and help you continue to prioritize your relationship with your kids. I recommend you see a therapist to help you navigate this so they can give you advice to deal with the unique situations that are gonna pop up

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-12-02T07:17:48+00:00

My $0.02 is to do what you think is right, considering how you would feel if your ex were doing the same. Also, do not put the kids in a position to lie to their mother. Ever. Last year my ex specifically told our 18 and 20yo not to tell me they spent thanksgiving at her bf’s family’s place, so when I conversationally asked how their thanksgiving was (I live in TN, and they in CA), they got all cagey and uncomfortable, and their answer made no sense. It finally came out and I was pretty mad at her for that. I didn’t give two shits about the bf or thanksgiving at his family’s place… I was mad she put them in that position; it was unfair to them.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-01T16:52:14+00:00

Don't. Keep you 50% time all about your kids. Keep the other 50% about you and the women in your life. Your kids don't want a step mom, bonus mom, step siblings or half siblings.

regertsrus · 2024-12-01T14:11:38+00:00

I did it at about 9 months. We went camping together like a blended family. It turned out far better than I expected. 3 years later things are great and all the kids are happy despite my x being a pathological liar and sending cops and sherrifs to my home 5x times now on more lies more deceit and more evil plots. Don't tell the X. None of her business. In general the kids should know she is not to question them about their time with you. Because she will and she will twist their minds about it and the new gf. Set it up right from the getgo so that the X doesn't derail your new life

jimsmythee · 2024-11-30T23:28:42+00:00

I didn’t. My kids knew about any lady I was dating.

My exwife wanted to control things, but I told her to pound sand.

SnooDucks2052 · 2024-11-30T23:23:13+00:00

I would say introduce her to everyone at once. But it depends on the temperature between you and your ex wife. If y’all are cool and both have moved on as far as feelings it shouldn’t be a big deal. Don’t over think it.

0neMinute · 2024-11-30T22:44:06+00:00

Depends on your co parenting relationship.

Mine is shit so I won’t bother as she waited literally the next day to introduce. If there is any semblance of respect then keep it going by shooting a text or email letting them know about it but also letting them know your letting them know as a courtesy. Something fun and non pressure age appropriate like a park or zoo , nothing intense like dinner etc. Just her this is so and so and they are joining us for our trip to the zoo and maybe a food truck run.

Title	Protocol for introducing the new gf?
Author	Brilliantly_Sir
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	November 30, 2024 10:22 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h3o0id/protocol_for_introducing_the_new_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/protocol-for-introducing-the-new-gf.1537313 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537313

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