After 17 years of marriage seems me and my wife have to come to the end of the road. This March will be a year since we unofficially separated. It was initiated by her but now I’m at a place where I’m in protective mode to avoid getting more hurt. I was so focused on finding the ‘why’ but seems it might never come. I’ve tried my part but she seems stuck on ending the relationship. For the most part things are amicable. I understand i might need to get legal help going forward. We don’t have kids and she has been a homemaker for 16.5 years. Practically speaking in an amicable divorce (i want to be fair but need to ensure i protect my financial future without being chained for too long) I had questions:

  1. Has anyone worked on their divorce as a DYI? If yes, what were some of the things to watch out for?

  2. If I’m getting an attorney, when did you get your spouse involved or informed about the legal proceedings? Should i give her an opportunity to get legal counsel or once i’ve worked with my attorney bring her in?

Any suggestions would be welcome specific to those questions or otherwise.