Reveal cheater during divorce

raziphel · 2024-04-28T13:57:57+00:00

Do you have proof of it?

upvotersfortruth · 2024-04-28T03:28:20+00:00

Revealing cheating will usually give you a limited period of "guilt leverage" - meaning you need to settle the case while the guilt leverage is still in effect. So choose your reveal time wisely. Before the case is too soon, after is too late (heck, you may not need to at all).

I don't know your case, but I'd get as far as possible without revealing it. If she starts to seriously backtrack after you have an "agreement" or if you become deadlocked on an issue, that would be a good time to reveal. Is this something that would be embarrassing to her if it reached a wider audience? In that case, it's better to do it subtly with the implication that the news will get out.

Good that you're being strategic about it. It may not help but worth a shot.

TreetopTarantula · 2024-04-27T20:08:36+00:00

I would just so it’s public record.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2024-04-27T19:08:53+00:00

Unless you're in an at fault state, adultery doesn't mean much. My advice is hold it close to the chest and tell only close friends and family 1st. Her family will still likely take her side but at least they will know you're not an AH. Also, here is reality: no matter what, you are the man and most people especially women will think you are the AH anyways. Don't give two sh1ts trying to convince anyone and if you go on a campaign, even if it is true people will think you are crazy and deserve to be cheated on. Just the honest truth.

Here is what I recommend: be the calm, cool dad that always shows up and is neutral. Have class and if anyone asks, you can always say "i didnt like exws boyfriend" and laugh and say your life rocks. This approach has zero satisfaction initially but people will see over time you're a good dude and respect you more. Just my 2 cents based upon my experience.

Careless-Beginning73 · 2024-04-27T15:45:07+00:00

Not trying to be vindictive and thinking more about negotiation leverage. Half of me think I should have just threw her out of the house and bring shame to her immediately and bring pressure for her to settle for 50/50 or less.

1984BurnerAccount · 2024-04-27T13:30:34+00:00

Courts don't care. Doesn't matter in mediation. Split everything 50/50 and be done. Send her or her and her family the proof if you want to be vindictive...or just move on.

kublakhan1816 · 2024-04-27T13:16:14+00:00

I don’t think courts care very much about cheating at all. So do whatever you want. It definitely won’t matter in child custody at all. It’s said to matter in property division but I’ve never seen that to be true.

0neMinute · 2024-04-27T11:43:51+00:00

Depends , is there a point to revealing the cheating ?

If it's to avoid alimony etc I would get a lawyer rather then dealing with mediation.

Title	Reveal cheater during divorce
Author	Careless-Beginning73
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	April 27, 2024 11:29 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ceccey/reveal_cheater_during_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/reveal-cheater-during-divorce.1516550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516550

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