Sitting on her hands

mehmench · 2022-05-17T20:30:08+00:00

Yep, it's a special skill they have to sit on things and just wait for the issue to be forced.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2022-05-17T20:43:05+00:00

Unless there are kids involved, Disengage.

I filed. Divorce took 2.5 years with over $200k in combined legal fees.

Nothing will get resolved now. The only way you’re getting divorced is

She agrees to it
You declare trial readiness and schedule a trial date

Usually scheduling a trial date will get things moving.

There is absolutely nothing you can do in the meantime.

Using lawyers to negotiate is a waste of money
Attempting to negotiate with her is a waste of time
fighting over bullshit in court is a waste of time and money

There are some court hearings that are worth it. For example, file a motion to get access to the marital home. that will get granted. Don’t negotiate that access with the other lawyer.

The court is the only system that works. The court has a process and a very slow time table. It is what it is. Use it.

I eventually caught up to all of this, and told my lawyer not to contact the other lawyer without asking me first. Otherwise they’re spending your dollars achieving nothing but enriching themselves.

thefudmaster · 2022-05-18T02:24:11+00:00

I was there back in 2016 bro. My ex dragged it out for two years and buried her head in the sand. Unfortunately for her, I legally dissipated all of our marital assets and she was forced to split the debt for dragging it out. Tell your lawyer you want a trial date set immediately. Can you go back in the marital home or did she file a restraining order?

pegleg_legal · 2022-05-18T04:43:38+00:00

Stop negotiating. Petition the court to force the sale and re-entry to the marital residence. But if you ask me, the bullshit is YOU sending them back an agreement an hour before the hearing - just asking for shit to go haywire. If you take personal offense at the terms set forth in an agreement - which you can counter-offer on - you're playing the game wrong. This is a business deal, this is a game, and a zero-sum one at that when it comes to all things financial except the potential to save on lawyers fees. Save your emotions for your therapist, not your lawyer.

EDIT: You can also save your emotions for us, that's one reason we're here!

Gattsama · 2022-05-18T08:08:16+00:00

Dude I feel your pain. We have to sell the martial home. Home prices are sky high and this market will not last forever. Once it goes down it'll be years before its this high again. It should be a no brainer. Sell high, take the cash, then rent until thr market collapses, and then use equity to buy a new place cash.

BUT despite the fact that the house must be sold, she is refusing to discuss it. Asking for more temporary support and legal fees. We have mediation on June 13th but I suspect it will be a total waste of time and money. She's running up new debt, adding new services and I suspect just trying to maximize her potential long term support. And I kind of get it, she stays in the house for free. Maybe until next Feb-Mar?? Why not, sure you might lose tens of thousands of dollars, even over $100k, but short term gains and you get to flip me off 🤷‍♂️

Have the second temporary support order hearing on May 24th. With luck judge will order another continuance and we can work out a sale date. If the judge awards her more money.. I suspect she'll just stall or refuse everything. Will see 🙄

takecareofyourshoe · 2022-05-18T10:06:17+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I tried mediation and was willing to split everything 50/50 and agree to all the guidelines and calculators. That wasn’t good enough according her and her lawyer. They for some reason thought she deserved way more than 50% of everything. She kept telling me she was going to file and I waited two months until finally filing. She was pissed for some reason and hasn’t spoken to me since. At that point she started threatening me with false accusations of abuse and taking the kids. The judge didn’t like that at all. Ha.

Now here I am 9 months later looking at an increase in interest rates from 3 to over 5% for my refinance to buy her out. We are heading to court for the third time next week. Our current agreement is the original 50/50 I was willing give her. $40k in lawyer fees later and significantly increased housing costs on my end and she hasn’t gained anything.

I just don’t understand.

Title	Sitting on her hands
Author	ndeniably
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	May 17, 2022 7:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/uruwlg/sitting_on_her_hands/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/sitting-on-her-hands.1209868 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209868

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