Casual Hookups During Separation

Intelligent-Habit-99 · 2022-02-08T19:36:48+00:00

“We were on a break!!” - Ross Gellar

Gxl4 · 2022-02-08T22:02:44+00:00

Never wake up a sleeping dog, it might bite.

Delcium1 · 2022-02-08T19:14:17+00:00

Depends on where you live. He in the state of Maryland judges don't care. At best you could use it as the justification for the divorce, but if it's happening anyway, it wont have any effect. In the state I grew up in, Utah, as long as it happens after the defined separation date (the date you and your ex decided to get a divorce) then it's ok.

You gotta look up your state, but either way, never tell your ex. legal or not, it will always lead to trouble. She can brag all she wants, but if you even look at another girl, then she is automatically a slut and a whore and you are a pig.

derelictherds · 2022-02-08T22:36:13+00:00

Depends. Why risk stirring up drama while the divorce is in progress?

IvoShandor · 2022-02-08T19:18:46+00:00

That's up to you. I was dating while separated, still separated and not officially divorced, and may not be for another year or so. But it's been a year and I had my profile set up and ready to go the day I moved out and have been crushing it.

rsmiley77 · 2022-02-08T20:58:17+00:00

There’s a couple of issues legally…. Don’t be one stupid guy I know who had a child and lived with his ‘wifey’ for a decade before leaving her for a younger better looking woman. He then proceeds to buy a bot and go on vacations with his new side piece. He owns his own business…. Good luck proving you’re barely making it while going all out for the new fling. He married her a year ago and I heard last week they’re getting a divorce and she’s pregnant. Just be smart and you’ll be fine.

Classic_Dill · 2022-02-08T22:45:20+00:00

MinnCali · 2022-02-08T23:57:25+00:00

If you’re in a no fault state, do it.

TrollCityBlunder · 2022-02-09T03:21:18+00:00

Eh I don’t see the harm in it. I waited till everything was finalized to have sexual encounters. It still felt wrong while in separation. I guess I am old school.

But if you know you aren’t going back for sure, then why not?

Mickwillie · 2022-02-08T20:17:44+00:00

Not sure what having kids or not having kids has to do with it, but whatever. Also not sure if you’re asking for the sake of your legal stance. If you’re asking ethically? Dude, get the fuck out there and go get yours. Practice. You may need it depending on how long you’ve been with the same woman.

geology_socks · 2022-02-08T20:01:52+00:00

Hmm honestly I just don’t have any interest. I think at most I just have a few female friends because they’re good friends, but anything more than that is just playing with fire.

patently_pleasant · 2022-02-09T05:07:47+00:00

All legalities aside, you are in a vulnerable position. You’re not ready to be intimate with another woman if you have been in a married, monogamous relationship for a long time and you just separated. Everything is too raw emotionally. Coming from someone who tried it, I thought I wanted it and tried to do it only a four months after separation (2 months after divorce, the proceedings were quick). Couldn’t even get it up because my head was not in the right place at all. It was embarrassing to say the least. You will think you want it until push comes to shove and you’re not shoving

sandman200 · 2022-02-09T00:20:20+00:00

Check with your lawyer. Maybe sure there isn’t something you need to be aware of? Like having a woman over while your negotiating first right of refusal.

In general, there isn’t a problem in a no fault state.

pegleg_legal · 2022-02-09T02:13:07+00:00

Is this a serious question?

Future-Platform8225 · 2022-02-09T03:13:02+00:00

Probably not a whole lot legally but there is a metric shit ton of money your ex wife can start wasting in legal fees when she catches wind of this. Motion after motion, rescheduling mediations etc. All in the name of spite. Some people emotionally lose rational financial sense. Don't buy your attorney a new car with your dick.

dudefromyork · 2022-02-09T07:21:01+00:00

There’s a legal argument that says “it doesn’t matter, do it” - which is valid.

I would ask yourself if you care about the following 2 things:

(1) Will this make your ex jealous/angry/ emotional in any way? It’s easier to negotiate a better settlement with someone who isn’t angry and emotional.

(2) Do you care about the moral high ground? If you’re friends and family are going to hear “look he’s on Tinder already” and she’s going to change the narrative to make her the victim, is that something you are bothered about?

If you’re fine with the above go ahead. My advice would be to use Facebook and Twitter to hone your flirting skills while you wait for your divorce to finalise. Shouldn’t take long without kids.

RepresentativeOk5968 · 2022-02-09T14:12:25+00:00

Feel free to do what you like. Personally, I wouldn't feel right until after the divorce is finalized as that is cheating in my mind. Yes, even if she cheated on you first, doesn't mean you get to do wrong as well.

The fact that you are asking, should kind of be an indication that you believe there may be something wrong with it too. No reason to rush things. Finalize details at home before jumping into bed with another woman. Just my 2 coppers...

Apprehensive_Walk_48 · 2022-02-09T18:25:22+00:00

Yeah man. Go have fun.

ndeniably · 2022-02-11T19:33:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WartimeDad · 2022-02-13T17:35:04+00:00

Yeah go get you some.

Title	Casual Hookups During Separation
Author	ndeniably
Upvotes	10
Comments	45
Date	February 8, 2022 7:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/sns3kd/casual_hookups_during_separation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/casual-hookups-during-separation.1101724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101724

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