Typical story - together 11.5 years, married 7.5. She changed a TON over the past year, withdrew emotionally from the marriage, I called her ass on it and she denied it. She hit eject, refused counseling, wanted to do an "amicable divorce". I had to leave town for work a week after she filed, she fired off an email stating that I've been abusive and manipulative our whole relationship after never once using those words in 11.5 years, said she felt that for that reason our 2 young daughters were unsafe with me. Up to this point I was making financial concessions that I did not HAVE to thinking we would part on terms that we had just grown apart but this pissed me the fuck off and I went scorched earth on her ass.

I lawyered up the next morning, told her she was insane if she thought she would EVER get more than 50% of time with our kids and that I would spend every dollar of "our" assets (she has bounced from job to job, sometimes not working at all, sometimes working PT for $12/hr, most recently earning ~$60k at a decent company in a LCOL area; meanwhile I earn well into 6 digits and work my ASS OFF.) She ended up backing down and dropping that trope and I ended up paying her half the support I was originally agreeing to on my own, gave her roughly half of the money I was originally going to on my own. She refused to move out until she could buy herself a house with a $80k check that I fronted her, all the while telling her work friends that she "wanted to hurt me the way I hurt her" via IM on her work computer while working from home and never leaving the house that I payed every bill in. She works with a bunch of humongously fat divorced 50+ year old women who were all cheering her on with "men aint shit" type bullshit and they all egged her on to try and come after me financially. Between all of this they were constantly talking shit about each other and their bosses non-stop in side conversations, I screen shotted ALL of it for insurance.

Ultimately I probably got very lucky that she's a fucking quitter in everything she has ever done as soon as something gets hard, it was no different in the divorce. The whole process for me took 75 days. She tried to push when there was no resistance and as soon as I escalated and shoved the fuck back she just quit. If I can offer a single piece of advice to people going through this process it's this: don't be nice - ever. You don't need to be a complete dickhead but you should fight for every single fucking thing you're entitled to, custody-wise, financially, in every single way. The wife you loved who was your partner is GONE. Now it's just an enemy wearing her skin who is here to take all of your shit from you and fuck you over in every way she possibly can. The only person who is going to look out for your best interest is YOU, do your job and fucking fight. Needless to say FUCK ever getting married again.