Stop seeing therapist? Change therapist?

wcdan · 2026-02-09T19:25:12+00:00

If you feel you've gotten what you need out of therapy, stop therapy.

If you don't feel like you're getting what you need, change to one that will be more help.

crager34 · 2026-02-09T18:41:34+00:00

Your wife is messed up in the head, not you.

Therapist are like Lawyers, the longer you stay the more money they make.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-02-08T03:46:12+00:00

Read the book 'The seven principles of making marriage work' by John Gottman.
It helped me more than my psychologist ever did. Also in the book explains why couples therapy generally does not work.
I can't recommend it enough for your future relationships. It definitely opened my eyes, made me see how I could have handled problems better and has all the tools.
As I never got closure from her after she turned towards her AP, it let me to conclusions I would have never been able to see have I not read the book.
Also the book 'Attached' has good info on attachment styles and a nice section on communication at the end.

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-02-07T15:07:10+00:00

Ex kept pushing me into therapy - it's all BS IMHO. They are just a screwed up as anyone else.

My therapy is prayer and helping others. And I'm a God loving and fearing man.

Maybe doesn't help that I'm a psyche minor. I did try to open my heart to it though. Didn't take.

Reflog1791 · 2026-02-07T07:44:45+00:00

Try getting a massage

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-07T03:47:55+00:00

Therapy should be educational, not laying on the couch rehashing things of the past. The right therapy is educational - education you’d be willing to pay for. It should have a beginning, a middle and an end.

There's an accessible form of Cognitive Behavorial Therapy (CBT) called Rational Emotive Behavorial Therapy (REBT). It offers a toolbox to deal with what you're going through. It can be as simple as putting a rubbing band on your wrist, and snapping it while saying "Stop". The cost-benefit analysis tool can help you deal with urges and maintain motivation. The more advanced ABC tool can address and dispute the those beliefs that are not working for you.

So find a therapist that practices REBT, and can provide you a toolset. They'll help you navigate which tools to use when so you aren't wholly dependent on the therapist. And that's the point -- to get you to a place where you don't need them.

Altruistic_Treacle47 · 2026-02-07T03:40:33+00:00

I started seeing one for a couple months. Initially, it was nice to get another person‘s perspective but it soon felt like I was just paying somebody to listen to me bitch. In the end, no one can solve your problems, but you.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-02-07T03:39:37+00:00

Not all therapists are a match for you nor are they all the same. What is your goal with therapy? They need to know. My first therapist’s push was ‘find a passion’. My second therapist was ‘reach out to friends and family for help’ and ‘keep busy’. I needed more. I’m on a third therapist working on coping skills bc I have panic attacks and all I think about is my kids when I don’t have them. The waves of grief and sadness are soul crushing for me. We’re working toward a hypno-therapy session and then into EMDR therapy.

Koi_Fish_Mystic · 2026-02-07T03:36:30+00:00

Communication model: 1. Make an observation 2. Share w/ feeling 3. State your needs 4. Making clear request

Did he teach you this? Because my therapist has been invaluable in learning communication skills.

Title	Stop seeing therapist? Change therapist?
Author	BloodstainedBearRug
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	February 7, 2026 3:28 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qy2xbc/stop_seeing_therapist_change_therapist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stop-seeing-therapist-change-therapist.1572909 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572909

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