Sometimes you run into a theory that explains A LOT and reminds you that your experiences are not unique at all. I was listening to closing arguments at a child support hearing on YouTube. The dad's lawyer accused the mom of having something called the "Golden Uterus Syndrome". This resonated with me immediately. It captures so much.

From the video: "Disobedience is abuse to the Golden Uterus. If the father doesn't heed her demands, the Golden Uterus perceives it as abuse. If you don't parent the same way the Golden Uterus parents, you're a bad parent."

A quick Google search brought these lines:

A golden uterus sufferer has a belief that her children’s best interest and hers are synonymous. The father’s needs and desires are irrelevant to her. She believes herself and her children to be a single unit. For the children, it’s a symbiotic relationship in which the mother feeds off her child because motherhood makes her feel special, and all powerful.

The women with the Golden Uterus ... [h]er sense of importance and self-worth comes solely from being a mother. She most likely has little else going on in her life, so she places all her hopes and dreams upon her children, often living vicariously through them.