This sucks

Strange_Button_3330 · 2025-05-09T16:47:16+00:00

Grieve for the family.
Yes: It hurts. It sucks. Cry. Lean into your friends.

But remember that this grief and sadness will ease and pass with time.
This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.

You will come out of this a stronger and better man.

You've got this.

--The_Cheshire_Cat-- · 2025-05-09T08:01:29+00:00

We've been together almost 20 years, 12 years married, 3 kids.

Got (kinda amicably) divorced about 5 years ago.
She found a new partner who is very nice and I actually like a lot, I've been on and off relationships ever since.

But, I am happy, she is happy, everyone is happy.

We still have a very good relationship, the whole family including new partners can sit together during events like birthdays, etc. and have a good time.

I enjoy these moments very much.
I do sometimes get a bit emotional, just because it makes me so happy that we managed to be able to have these moments and sit together in harmony.

At the same time, I very much enjoy my "me time", freedom, peace and quiet.

So I guess you gotta make the best of it and see the positives, it can definitely work out!

Divorce is hard, no matter the circumstances.
But it will get better, keep your head up!

painfulletdown · 2025-05-09T05:04:33+00:00

brother, i been through an absolute nightmare of false allegations for years and just trying to take care of my kids and be a great father. after all that i still had to call a few friends and family for support today and looking forward to speaking with my therapist tomorrow. check to see if your employer offers the free therapy appointments. ours is called EAP. get support from some of you friends and coworkers who have been through divorce.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-05-08T23:51:12+00:00

I'm five months into separation after 20 years. She had an affair with a co-worker because she didn't "feel alive."

It is hard. I have good days and bad days. I'm definitely angry at her for blowing up our family so she could have some strange dick during her mid-life crisis.

I keep a journal and write in it everyday. It's almost like putting the poison into paper. Transfer the poison from my mind to the book. Sometimes it helps.

GalamineGary · 2025-05-08T23:18:47+00:00

I’m three years out. You are correct. It sucks. At least for me the worst part was me thinking about what was and what could’ve been. I think initially you think of all the great times and almost gaslight yourself. Mine cheated and left a 26 year marriage and I was super depressed that the marriage was over. Now, I workout more, spend time with friends, picked up a new hobby and hang out with the dogs. I love having my peace. I still think of her, probably out of habit. I don’t have feelings for her one way or the other. You will get through it.

Equivalent_Exit_804 · 2025-05-08T22:46:24+00:00

I'm 5 weeks in. Biggest help: I took 10 days off, went home to my parents, spent time with them. Knowing I'm still loved, I have people I can realy on, my family is still here. I've been watching videos about heartbreak, about grief, about acceptance. Some of them land, some don't. We all have different processes, go and experiment with them.

And be prepared, it comes I waves. I even had a single happy day. However I had a day that I couldn't get out of bed and cried a lot. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. But it will get better. Get some support. Reach out to friends, even if they are distant. Seriously, get help. Talk. In words, in chat, in mails, get a therapist. It is necessary. First week I was ashamed and closed up. The moment I told someone, I was so much more relieved. And it shifted my perspective as well.

Title	This sucks
Author	JuiceGreat0525
Upvotes	24
Comments	14
Date	May 8, 2025 10:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ki33d1/this_sucks/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/this-sucks.1551867 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551867

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