To continue with the contempt hearing or not

SaaSWriters · 2026-01-14T04:37:07+00:00

My lawyer is recommending me not go through with the contempt hearing.

What's your lawyers reasoning?

In any event, it's usually best to have a solid understanding of the law before instructing your lawyer.

Plus, if his heart is not in it, you may have to find someone else.

I don't know your circumstances but in general, if you can win a case, win it.

Even if we go to trial, I doubt the judge is going to throw her in jail or something over it.

He won't. But there maybe another way to order your stuff to be returned to you.

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2026-01-13T14:34:21+00:00

How are you going to get your stuff if you don't enforce the final judgment? One remedy of contempt of court is of course, enforcement, which is what you want anyway. Find another attorney who has your back and a better idea about how to get your stuff from your ex other than quitting and dropping the case. That's just stupid.

FirelineJake · 2026-01-13T11:21:30+00:00

Contempt sounds satisfying, but in family court it rarely delivers the justice people expect, your lawyer’s probably thinking about cost, risk, and judge fatigue. If there’s a way to narrowly go after the sentimental items instead of reopening the whole fight, that’s worth asking about. It’s okay to want accountability, but don’t let the process keep dragging you through the same pain.

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-13T06:11:56+00:00

2 years of getting screwed removed from your home, financially gutted, now $10-14K of your stuff including firearms she won't turn over, one from your father, second attorney telling you to drop the contempt hearing even though you have evidence she has them and acted in bad faith signing the decree I get why you're struggling with just letting her walk away with everything after all this....

your lawyer's probably right that even if you prove contempt, the judge won't jail her or force her to cough up the stuff best case you get a contempt finding on record and maybe she's ordered to return items she'll claim are "lost" or already sold, worst case you spend thousands more in legal fees for a moral victory that doesn't actually get your stuff back.... The firearm from your father is the emotional anchor here, not the money, and that's valid, but you have to decide if fighting this is about justice which family court rarely delivers or about not letting her win one more thing. If the evidence isn't "open and shut" and your second attorney (who's seen the case) is telling you to walk away, it's probably because they know this judge won't rule your way or the cost-benefit doesn't pencil out. Sometimes the win is cutting your losses, documenting her contempt for the record, and moving forward without pouring more money into a system that's already failed you......but if that firearm is worth the fight emotionally and you can afford the legal fees without destroying yourself financially, then go to trial knowing it's about principle, not outcome.

IceDue123 · 2026-01-13T04:12:19+00:00

I worked in the legal realm, but I think Family law is watered down version . My example is this. Ex went to a lawyer in Jan 17. Lawyer told her to pull all her records and provide them in 4 weeks. Six weeks later I filed, so statutorily ex was required to provide discovery by last week in April, which was a week before our first hearing

At the hearing the judge thought reciprocal discovery was completed but we said no, they have not complied. Judge gave then three more weeks.

3 weeks go by still no docs. I tell my lawyer file a contempt motion. She argued and said she usually sends a remark letter. I told her our adversaries did not forget. Ex missed deadline set by her lawyer, missed statutory deadline and missed the granted extension. So we filed the motion and ex’s lawyer complied that we were unprofessional and we didn’t have to file, it made him look bad, etc

So long story short I would file because that seems to be the only way to get them to live up to their obligations

TooRealEstate · 2026-01-13T01:44:45+00:00

Tell her you wanf the guns back or you will Report the weapons stolen and then call the cops saying they are in her possession

FUMoney · 2026-01-13T01:00:13+00:00

Continue with it.

UrAristotle · 2026-01-13T00:59:43+00:00

I don’t know your ongoing saga.

What’s the best case scenario?

You go to court and the judge gives her X days to turn over the disputed items? What are the chances your evidence is iron clad? Compared to the $10-14k, how much will this cost you? And it’s not like you’re going to sell the firearms. So you’re still out the attorney fees.

What’s the worst case scenario?

You go to court and they find in her favor? What are the objective chances of this happening? Now you’ve gained nothing and still paid all those fees.

And do you have kids? Will she figure out a way to manipulate them against you in spite?

When I get frustrated with my ex, I remember what someone told me about that anger. That it’s like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.

She doesn’t care. She’s not celebrating a victory.

I’m right there with you on the bitterness. And I’m not advocating forgiveness. Fuck that. But there has to be some middle ground between revenge and forgiveness that offers you some peace, and it’s probably not the firearms.

Another saying I remind myself: there are no solutions, only tradeoffs.

CRobinsFly · 2026-01-13T00:57:22+00:00

Man, I feel ya. I got this weird deja vu feeling when I saw your title because I'm currently in the same boat (have a full evidentiary hearing in 90 days for contempt of my timesharing but I am getting most of the relief I want, I am leaning towards settling).

Having filed for contempt 4 times now in my case, I've come to understand it well. That said, pass your position through AI and ask it whether your case and circumstance has the elements necessary for civil contempt as established by caselaw in your state. Those are typically clear order, awareness of order, ability to follow it and willfully choosing not to.

More broadly, the Court hates contempt especially when it's fathers who are bringing it, because you know, it would mean women are actually held accountable - cant be having that; 2 of my 4 contempt motions werent even heard. Contempt is notoriously hard to prove/prosecute for anything other than child support (which ironically typically affects men).

Look, I getchu that you just want to prove that youre right and you want your property back. It does suck to have to tell you the truth but to bring this is probably going to waste your time and money. She could very easily claim she lost the gun in a boating accident and wham, contempt defeated, case dismissed with you out your attorneys fees.

Probability she goes to jail for any of it? Basically zero. Assuming youre successful, she'll get ordered to return the fire arms, probably pay 500 of your attorneys fees and pay like a 100 fine. Slap on the wrist.

You'd probably be better off just letting tensions settle down and forgetting about it, who knows, the firearms may find their way back to you.

Title	To continue with the contempt hearing or not
Author	daniel22mckee
Upvotes	10
Comments	11
Date	January 12, 2026 11:48 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qbbgkt/to_continue_with_the_contempt_hearing_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/to-continue-with-the-contempt-hearing-or-not.1571030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571030

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